The good thing about today’s breakfast TV was that Jennifer Arcuri, the beneficiary of significant amounts of public money and previously a very close friend of alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, was giving an exclusive interview to ITV’s Good Morning Britain. The bad thing was that former Screws and Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan, who cannot interview his way out of a paper bag, would be involved.
And sure enough, Morgan had to ask her about the screwing. Despite it not being about the screwing. There was the political interest, the corruption interest, the voter influencing interest, and indeed the public interest. But for The Great Piers, the main event was to talk about his own prurient interest. And it didn’t work.
Ms Arcuri was tight-lipped but not at all ashen-faced. And she was evasive with it. How many times had Bozo The Clown visited her place in Shoreditch? “A handful over a few years, I don’t really know … Five times? Ten times? Six times. Seven times. I’ve told you a handful of times. We will say five”. Will we now. Wasn’t that kind of thing a little awkward for the Mayor of London? "No, I didn’t think it was awkward at all”.
So it was blindingly obvious that the interview should not get sidetracked onto the trivial. But, as the Evening Standard has reported, “Ms Arcuri was also asked if she used a dancing pole, which had been installed in the flat, during any of the then-mayor's visits”. And it got worse, as Morgan got round to asking the screwing question.
“Did you ever have any intimate relationship with Boris Johnson?” asked Morgan. The response showed that this was a campaign destined to develop not necessarily to his advantage. “Do you want me to talk about your sex life? Because I would LURVE to ask you a few questions about who you worked with, married, and then decided to, you know” she responded. Now the public’s attention has moved from her to him. Slow handclap.
Ultimately, Ms Arcuri simply said “Because the press have made me this objectified ex-model pole dancer, I really am not going to answer that question. I’m not going to put myself in a position for you to weaponise my answer. I'm being used as a pawn”.
She also rambled “I think we’re forgetting that Boris is extremely personable. It wasn’t like he singled me out. He is there to talk to anybody if they get in his face enough. It’s unfortunate a good friend… now I’m dragged into this horrific scandal. The answer is now going to be weaponised against this man. Boris never ever gave me favouritism. Never once did he ask for a favour. He only knew me as an extremely passionate entrepreneur”.
Ms Arcuri managed to bluster her way out of questions about that £126,000 she or her companies received. “These are insinuations and third party heresy” she claimed, although how religion got into it is not known. She even side-stepped a question on whether Bozo had contacted her since the row broke out with “I don’t need him to call me right now. Britain needs him right now. Britain needs him to deal with Brexit”.
Good Morning Britain’s male hosts do seem to have a problem with interviews. The only saving grace for Piers Morgan is that the likes of Richard Madeley are infinitely worse.
Enjoy your visit to Zelo Street? You can help this truly independent blog carry on talking truth to power, while retaining its sense of humour, by adding to its Just Giving page at