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Sunday 4 June 2017

André Walker - You’re A Tosser

[Update at end of post]

After news emerged of the terror attack on London Bridge and Borough Market last night, many were repulsed at yet more death and injury being needlessly meted out by those who claim the good name of The Prophet in order to justify murder and mayhem. Even our political class declared a brief truce, although the General Election campaign will restart in earnest this evening. But there had to be one idiot on hand.
André Walker - of less than high principle

That idiocy was volunteered by André Walker, formerly connected to the now-dormant Young Britons’ Foundation, and also, so he claims, a close friend of Elliott Johnson, the Tory activist who tragically took his own life after being bullied by a number of people, including, it seems, André Walker. Walker , let us not drive this one round the houses for too long, is a shit of the lowest order, for whom dirty tricks are his new normal.

His behaviour included turning up at Elliott Johnson’s inquest hearing, claiming to have been in a relationship with the dead activist. Now he is reduced to writing for the New York Observer, which sounds mildly impressive, except that it was purchased back in 2006 by Jared Kushner, and is one of the few publications to have backed Combover Crybaby Donald Trump for the US Presidency. It’s well out there on the right.
Now, Walker has decided that he will personally intervene in the terrorism debate, by claiming to offer himself as a target, thus - he appears to hope - drawing attackers’ fire away from the rest of the public. How can he achieve this? Simples. By being a Grade A Tosser: “A bounty on my head. Any #ISIS terrorist that kills me gets £50k. I'll give my address. No police. But I've got a sword. Good luck” he Tweeted earlier.
Why would he do this? “Very simple, fight someone who is a fair opponent. No honour in running over children”. Really? “They are cowards who blow up kids and run people over. I'm suggesting a fair fight... with me”. So armed only with his trusty sword … hold it right there, this is total crap. Has Walker not seen the first Indiana Jones film? He can brandish his weapon (kersnick kersnick) all he likes, but one pot from a gun and … dead.
And quite apart from the idea of Walker going around pretending he’s Adam Adamant once more reincarnated (younger people - ask an older relative about that one), what he’s proposing is plainly illegal - after all, if it’s illegal to use rather less prominent blades in anger, it’s going to be illegal for him to use his. Plus dealing with the less charitably inclined among the population is down to the authorities, not this tosser.

André Walker should leave law enforcement to law enforcement professionals, and remember that the Tory bullying scandal, in which he was implicated, has by no means blown over. And if he wants to draw attention to those who kill innocent children, he should be lobbying the Government and the arms industry to stop selling deadly weaponry to régimes which use it to terrorise their neighbours.

André Walker is an ocean-going tosser of the least deserving kind. Good laugh, though.

[UPDATE 1440 hours: as if Walker's stunt were not the pinnacle of stupidity, the Mail had to go one better by putting his Twitter excursion on their website and fouling up his nationality.
"American journalist sparks fury after posing outside Parliament with a SWORD and offering ISIS £50,000 to fight him" they told. But Walker, it was conceded, is a Freeman of the City of London. He is also British and a Tory Party hanger-on.

Still, when you don't bother to do the research, what do you expect?]

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dunno about Adam Adamant.

But Walker looks and sounds more like Donald Duck.

The crackpot meff.

Arnold said...

Apparently that Indiana Jones scene was meant to be a proper fight (whip v sword). But Harrison Ford was unwell, so it was hurriedly rewritten.

Rich M said...

Can't be easy to wield a long sword in the sort of restricted domestic spaces most of us live in. He should take a shufti at the bits of the Pink Panther movies where Clouseau is ambushed by Cato, get some ideas for ploys and moves to try out.

Arnold said...

Easy enough in Highlander. Immortals had no problems concealing swords in public.

Anonymous said...

Why doesn't he concentrate on the kids his party is driving into poverty every day? Oh yes, silly me, because he's a colossal tosser and a Tory, two things which seem increasingly mutually inseparable.

Fishman Dave said...

Isn't that photo taken from within the confines of the Palace of Westminster?

Unknown said...

Never mind £50k - I'm quite happy to accept £50 and a jar of pickled eggs.

I'm not in ISIS but am quite prepared to shout 'Allah Akbar' if it makes him feel better.

nparker said...

As always with Tories, they think acting tough on the internet will impress others. As always, it always fails and makes people cringe.

You've got him bang to rights Tim.

AndyC said...

Brandishing an offensive weapon, judging by the photo within the precincts of the Palace of Westminister and not in the park next door and offering to finance IS, is surely deserving of a visit from the Met's anti-terrorism branch. If its on the terrace of Parliament, how the hell did he get it in there? If its in the park how come he wasnt arrested by the vigilant coppers in the area for possessing a blade, esp in these times of heightened security?

I see his Twitter handle is AndrejpWalker. Please assure me he isnt a magistrate and that the jp doesnt stand for Justice of the Peace.

Matthew Steeples said...

Andrew Walker blocked me on Twitter for asking him a few questions. He's about as much use as a chocolate teapot and he's frankly just a boring non-entity who works for the son of the dodgiest President in history. Next!