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Tuesday, 29 September 2015

Dan Hodges’ Corbyn Paranoia

It has finally happened: the crossing of the floor by the Telegraph’s not at all celebrated blues artiste Whinging Dan Hodges, the Colonel Nicholson of the Labour Party, happened long ago, but now has come the realisation that, just because he isn’t paranoid, it doesn’t mean that someone, somewhere is not coming to get him. It would be laughable if it were not so …. oh stuff it, it really is laughable.
He's desperate, Dan

Beneath the headlineWho will dare to confront Corbyn’s Children? Labour’s conference has seen a sinister tyranny emerging among the new leader’s supporters”, Hodges looks at the genial and mild-mannered Jeremy Corbyn, and his consensual, democratic approach to politics, and sees a cult figure, supported by hordes of mesmerised, zealous followers, willing to eliminate all opposition to their leader.

You think I jest? This is Dan’s opening gambit: “In 1978 the horror writer Stephen King produced one of his most famous, and chilling, works. ‘Children of the Corn’ tells the tale of a middle-aged, suburban American couple who stumble across a remote village in rural Nebraska populated entirely by children. Scary children … All the adults – the local minister, the police chief – have been killed”. And there’s more.

Sacrificed by the malevolent infants as an offering to their evil deity ‘He Who Walks Behind The Rows’. Here at Labour conference in Brighton someone, or something, is walking behind the rows. You can see it in the eyes of every Labour MP. The dread. ‘One misplaced phrase. One careless act of disloyalty. Then they will come for me’ … And they will. The 150,000 will come”. Hiding behind the sofa? No, neither am I.

And all those new members, Dan reckons, are A Very Bad Thing: “The Labour party membership surge is a catastrophe matched only by the election of Corbyn himself … It has already ushered in The Terror” [yes, he really wrote that]. But do go on. “Yesterday it was reported trade union activists are drawing up a hit list of former shadow cabinet members who have refused to serve the new regime”.

Yes, it was “reported” by the Telegraph making it up. In any case, what’s the problem with democracy? Ah, but Dan has that figured out, too: “this is not democracy. It’s the tyranny of the majority. Or the tyranny of the minority masquerading as the majority”. And a bit more Stephen King, perhaps? “As far as the average representative of the parliamentary Labour party is concerned, there is nothing out beyond the corn”.

And on he wibbles: “The mere fear of de-selection is enough. Fear. It is the great unifier now. Fear of the unbelievers. Fear of being branded an unbeliever. Fear, above all else, of the unbelievers who live out beyond the corn”. Almost unnoticed along the way, though, he admits “Maybe nothing will come of it”. Nothing other than Hodges’ credibility quietly being flushed down the pan for the last time, just to gain the favour of his bosses at the Tel.

Is this supposed to be journalism? One thing’s for sure, it’s got sod all to do with reality.

8 comments:

SimonB said...

One of the things that has become clear since the success of Corbyn has been the true nature of the commentariat. Who can now deny that they are a bunch of people unable to do anything more than stand by people who are doing stuff and tell them they're dong it wrong?

Andy McDonald said...

If he were looking for a Stephen King analogy, The Stand might have been a better choice - and one could always cast Corbyn as both Mother Abigail and as Randall Flagg. Depending on your point of view.

But seriously, to think that this drivel is what now passes for serious comment in a broadsheet paper? Blimey.

Andrew Birss said...

I'm of course blocked by Dan-His idea of democracy appears to be agreeing precisely with everything he says and if you don't then you are like some evil child who is prepared to murder him. Or something like that. When actually all you want to do is point out that he usually wrong about things and while you do disagree you have no real intention of actually stabbing him to death.

Anonymous said...

Tim,

Hodges?

Nothing but a tenth rate neocon Canary Wharf boot boy with a hatred of democracy.

Last night I did a usual quick scan of TV news and came across the Sky TV press review at 11.30. It had the usual Sun loony propagandist on it, someone whose name escapes me at present - who was it?

The common factor in all of these people is how they have a grudge against life and a boiling inner rage against ANYONE who holds a different opinion to them, a real mental problem that often crosses over into fascism. The Sun propagandist was of that ilk, a truly scary figure with hatred written all over him. In other words, a typical Murdoch employee.

Anonymous said...

Hodges apparently 'sees a cult figure, supported by hordes of mesmerised, zealous followers, willing to eliminate all opposition to their leader.'

Yep, sounds like Blair and New Labour all right. Hodges is probably trapped in a hotel room, endlessly typing 'All work and no play makes Jack Straw a dull boy' and seeing 'Rialb Ynot' in blood on the walls.

Andy McDonald said...

It's EON (Everything or Nothing) thinking - the notion that unless you support or hate something to the pundit's satisfaction*, you are automatically assumed to be diametrically opposed to them. There's no room for grey areas or shades of nuance, because that's equivocation and backsliding and it looks dodgy, or at least it is when it's the other lot doing it.

*Important point there, and one that explains exactly what the likes of Louise Mensch do to earn their money - under EON thinking, a simple 'I don't like that' isn't good enough. You're expected to be roaring your disgust at anything even associated with the thing you're not liking today, or you're a slacker and likely one of Them.

Celia said...

The science of genetics might be interested to contemplate the child of an actor turning out to be incredibly dramatic. Is it in the blood, or is it because he's a journalist (also a very dramatic profession, certainly in the last thirty or so years)? To my mind, geneticists have not studied the heritable nature of ridiculousness enough.

PaulW said...

"Or the tyranny of the minority masquerading as the majority."

Presumably Dim Dan is talking about the handful of press barons/media moguls who control the usual news outlets in the UK?