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Friday, 1 March 2019

Farage March To Leave IS A SHAM

Another day, another publicity stunt from former UKIP Obserscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage, as he struggles to stay in the spotlight following Theresa May becoming the focus of Brexit ridicule, and his successor Adolf von Batten yanking UKIP off to the far right. Nige has decided to ape the Jarrow Crusade of 1936, and organise what he calls a “March to Leave” from Sunderland to London at the end of the month.
Squeaky farcical non-march finger up the bum time
The headlines are all that Farage could have wished to see, typical being the Mail telling readersNigel Farage will lead a 280-mile march from Sunderland to London in protest against `betrayal of Brexit´ … Leave Means Leave campaign organising the protest which begins on March 16 … Mr Farage will lead march from Sunderland which is due in London on March 29 … Brexiteer Farage claimed the 'Westminster elite' are 'betraying British people’ … The march will visit towns including Hartlepool, Pontefract and Doncaster”.
280 miles! Wow! All that walking! Except it isn’t much walking, neither for Mr Thirsty, nor for any of his fellow Gammon Means Gammon supporters. First bit of cheating is that there are gaps in the route where the walkers won’t be, er, walking. So after arriving at Doncaster, they start the next day further south, at Wadworth. Then they only march to Worksop, before being ferried south to Mansfield. Jarrow Crusade it ain’t.
Then comes the next con. After the Mail tells “Departing from the first city to return a Leave vote on the night of June 23 2016, the march will visit towns including Hartlepool, Pontefract, Doncaster and Wellingborough on its way to London”, it lets slip “Different marchers are expected to take part in each leg of the route, leading to a mass rally in Parliament Square at its conclusion”. About 15 miles and that’s your lot.
That means that by the time the second day’s marches get going, Nige will have already finished his stint, which will be fortunate, as he will have spent the previous night in the Rub-A-Dub becoming Elephant’s Trunk And Mozart. The ridicule has already begun.
The Tweeter known as Brexitshambles has observed “'Organisers say they aim to have a “core group of marchers” on each leg of the route. There is a £50 charge for those taking part.' It's not exactly the Jarrow Crusade is it!” Ah, a money making scam too!
Otto English noted “The sheer rank amateurism of the March to Leave website. Someone has taken screenshots of Google maps suggested route and once again made it possible for Seymour Butts and his friends to register”. And it got worse: he added “Someone has suggested that Farage get followed the whole way by someone blasting the Benny hill theme out of a pair of speakers”. And worse still.
Making it possible for joke names to enter? Andrew Cross confirmed “So it does! Hugh Jass is now registered & is taking 999,999 friends”. David Scott had more good news: “I. P. Knightly will take part in 423 segments of the March. He’s coming from Unicorn Fields to take part”. One Tweeter warned “The Chilterns I know won’t like that scruffy riff-raft marching through it, I can tell you. Neighbourhood Watch would be onto their every move”.
It must have seemed a good idea down the pub the other week. It doesn’t now.
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Anonymous said...

Dunno about the Benny Hill theme. The Laurel and Hardy theme would be more appropriate.

Anonymous said...

How can we be sure they won't get lost?

In these dark, uncertain days anything which raises a smile and a laugh is welcome. The Zombie March is allegedly passing by close to where I live. I'll just have to go along. Oh, the hilarity! Oh, my aching sides! Thanks, Nigel.

Anonymous said...

Gammonball Run.

Thank me later.

Anonymous said...

Couldn't they stay in stately homes along the route? it's where a lot of the non-elitist support for the kippers is hidden away after all...

Arnold said...

The Gammonball Run (shamesssly nicked from elsewhere).

RodJ said...

Anonymous - the Benny Hill tune has been proved to be a great right-wing twat repellent. Here's the video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RX43xpy90k

Unknown said...

Quite clearly walking in 'legs'. Finishing of course at Westminster. What's the problem with that?