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Thursday 9 August 2018

Tory Chairman’s Brothel Mystery

While the Tories deal with the fallout from London’s formerly very occasional Mayor Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson’s latest swerve across the bigotry median, party chairman Brandon “barrow boy” Lewis has encountered one of those little local difficulties which is proving hard for him to wave away. He has been asked a simple yes or no question - challenging for most Tories - and has so far declined to answer it.
Tory MP goes all silent shock horror

Worse for Lewis, he faces further questions on his over-zealous use of Twitter, after a series of exchanges after the Sky News feed told “Online trolls could be banned from public office under government plans”. How the Government will know the civil service has shortlisted an “online troll” for a job was not told. Because the idea is crap.
Also, the proposal won’t be going any further, not least because of the implications for a shower like the Tory Party using such a move to silence critics. Then there was the question of The Blue Team’s own activities in this area, alluded to by Natalie Rowe. “Meanwhile the Tory Government are PAYING Tory Trolls to spread fake news, on Social Media. Will the Tory Government be putting that ban on Tory Government also?
At this point, in waded Brandon Lewis. Ms Rowe had not tagged him, nor had she tagged anyone else in the Tory Party or elsewhere. But there he was, sneering “Now that really is #FakeNews”. Why is he on a hair trigger with Ms Rowe? And why has he forgotten what he briefed the press about only last February?
One Tweeter decided to remind The Great Man. “Eh? Isn’t that you in this article telling the Telegraph that you had taken on paid tweeters?” Do official Tory trolls get a free pass?
In any case, Lewis might have thought he got away with winding up Ms Rowe, but early this week she returned to the fray with the question that has thus far remained unanswered. “See you’re trending today Brandon! One question is it fake news that you’ve visited a Brothel ? Yes OR No”. Oh dear, Barrow Boy!
Lewis’ problem here is that Ms Rowe may not know where the bodies are buried, but she is well versed on those times when, shall we say, certain bodies have been in proximity to certain other bodies. And so began the Tory chairman’s brothel mystery.

While one Tweeter responded to the question “I think it would be quicker for you to list the Tory MPs who haven’t been to one!” there was no wavering from Ms Rowe, who simply replied “That may be so .. @BrandonLewis can at least answer the question that I’ve asked directly”. Well, Bran, how about answering the good voter?
I mean, it’s not as if Ms Rowe is asking about GDP projections for the next five years, the potential movement of interest rates, the impact of climate change on water supplies, or the possible divergence from EU regulations post-Brexit. It’s a straight yes or no.

So, Brandon Lewis, is it Fake News if someone was to say that you’d visited a brothel? I’m sure the electorate over there in Great Yarmouth will want to know. No pressure, now.
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Anonymous said...

I really don't want to conjure images of the Essex Gammon in a brothel......

Anonymous said...

...then don't but someone obviously gets off on it.....