Whenever our free and fearless press perceives the hated BBC as going soft on anything - Brexit, Labour, Scary Muslims™, the homeless, the disabled, LBGT people, the EU, anyone not white not yet covered, Slebs they don’t like - they put the boot in on the Corporation. And thanks to deeply unpleasant Sun showbiz creep Dan Wootton, we now know that the next BBC target for his paper is going to be Strictly.
It's bizarre why they bother paying him
Why that should be is an easy one: whenever the show airs, it’s a ratings banker, it’s one of the few shows that can be classed Good Old-Fashioned Family Entertainment™, and it’s not going to be going anywhere near Sky any time soon. Wootton let slip early today that his assault on the show will be over the line-up for the new series.
Sadly, The Great Man gave the game away rather rapidly, like as soon as he issued a moany Tweet about the show. “Why has the BBC decided to make a civilian non-celebrity version of Strictly Come Dancing? Seriously, biggest show on the box and this rag tag bunch of TV D-listers is the best they can do. Seann Walsh? Dr Ranj? Stacey Dooley? Ashley Roberts? Vick Hope?” Better than Z-listers like Dan Wootton, mind.
In any case, Stacey Dooley was watching and put him straight. “You know what I LOVE to do for a living? As a grown man? Slate people I don’t know. Damn Dan, you must feel fulfilled everyday you get up for work. PS - Next time you write about me, it’s ‘Stacey Dooley MBE’”. Indeed, Ms Dooley was awarded the MBE for Services to Broadcasting only this year. She has produced a serious body of broadcast work.
And so Dopey Dan back-pedalled furiously. “How on earth is this me slating you? I’m slating the booking on the show. No personal offence intended. I’m sure you do good work and just because I’ve never heard of you that doesn’t mean you don’t. Going on Strictly is a dream for any career so well done for getting the gig”. What a crawler. He could be arguing in his spare time. And he could be a waste of space.
Meanwhile, Arthur Hall was on hand to put Wootton’s accomplishments in perspective. Brutal perspective. “[Stacey Dooley] a D list celebrity really? She is an incredible documentary maker and journalist who’s reported on real life issues such as child labour, drugs, women and the sex industry. Whereas your job is to write an article when someone on love island does a shit. Jealous man”. Cruel. Cruel but fair.
And there was more. “And most recently awarded an MBE. What have you been awarded apart from your wee 5 minute role on Lorraine once a week? You’re just a bitter man”. He’s also the idiot who couldn’t tell the difference between Westlife and Five, claimed an exclusive over a non-exclusive story about Ant McPartlin’s dog, and has previous with Strictly: he invented a malicious pack of lies about semi-finalist Alexandra Burke.
Now Wootton, or more likely the pack of modestly paid droids who actually write his copy, will be making up more rubbish about Strictly so they can leech off the show’s popularity.
Dan Wooton and his employers are nasty, unprincipled hypocrites. No change there, then.
Enjoy your visit to Zelo Street? You can help this truly independent blog carry on talking truth to power, while retaining its sense of humour, by adding to its Just Giving page at