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Monday 23 May 2016

Simon Danczuk Selena Slip

As rumour continues to swirl over the future of nominally Labour MP Simon Danczuk, The Great Man has clearly decided to ignore the speculation and concentrate on what he does best - opening his mouth and then putting his foot in it. He has accomplished his latest example of this less than totally stylish behaviour by once again pretending to be hip and knowledgeable, rather than boring and middle-aged.
As seasoned Danczuk watchers will know, previous attempts to appear Down With The Kidz have not gone well: when the story of his “sexting” exchanges with a then 17-year-old girl were revealed, he had told Sophena Houlihan that he was aBig fan of the Article Monkeys - I’d forgotten about them”. He’d forgotten so much about the Arctic Monkeys that he no longer knew what they were called.

After that episode - which also involved his then girlfriend Claire Hamilton dumping him - it might have been thought that Danczuk would desist from any further pretence of being hip and with it. But that thought would have been misplaced, as yesterday he revealed a new liking for the now and happening. The only problem is that not only is he still having problems spelling the artiste’s name, but that also, er, you’ll see.

And so it came to pass that Si told the world “I can't stop listening to this Selena Gormez album, really is very good”. “Gormez”? Who is this “Selena Gormez”? Oh right, he means Selena Gomez, who, at just 23 years old, seems a bit young, even for him. But that was not the whole foot-in-mouth story. A little research showed why it was most unwise of Danczuk to show his admiration for Ms Gomez’ new album.
Research like checking out her latest single release, which is titled “Hands To Myself”. What might this song be about? Fortunately, the lyrics are readily available online, so we can see exactly what the song is on about. Here’s a sample.

Can't keep my hands to myself
No matter how hard I'm trying to

Is this a line taken out of context? Let’s check out some more of those lyrics.

And I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying, but I
Can't keep my hands to myself

Maybe not out of context at all. And, as the man said, there’s more.

Can't keep my hands to myself
I mean I could, but why would I want to?

Er, because the result could be anything from a slap across the face to being charged with a range of sex crimes? “Spanker Si” really should have thought twice before telling the world how much he adored “Selena Gormez”.

Strangely, there has been little surprise at this revelation in and around Rochdale. I’ll just leave that one there.


asquith said...

I'm not into Selena Gormez or Selena Gomez but I did like this cover,

Anonymous said...

I have lost count of the number of times I've expected his comeuppance and been left waiting. Long before he blighted Rochdale. I don't understand how he's so Teflon. He has no friends. Surely he can't keep getting injunctions- he can't afford it.

Andy McDonald said...

Danczuk clearly isn't up to date on all his pop culture. If he was a fan of the X Men films, he'd recognise this quote:

"Never trust a beautiful woman - especially one who's interested in you."