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Tuesday 12 January 2016

Murdoch - No Fool Like An Old Fool

With a confidence that Rochdale’s nominally Labour MP Simon Danczuk must envy, 84 year old billionaire media mogul Rupert Murdoch has, though the pages of one of his own papers, announced his engagement to 59 year old high maintenance model Jerry Hall. Should the happy couple proceed to the marriage stage, it would be Rupe’s fourth tying of the knot. So aren’t the rest of the press ecstatically happy?
Well, some of them are: the Mail has told readersJerry Hall, 59, and Rupert Murdoch, 84, announce their ENGAGEMENT in The Times after a whirlwind four month romance … Model Jerry Hall and media baron Rupert Murdoch began dating in October … Mr Murdoch proposed over the weekend while in LA for Golden Globes”. The BBC went withMedia mogul Rupert Murdoch and actress-model Jerry Hall are to get married”.
The happy couple’s good news is also noted by the Guardian, as well as the Independent and the Telegraph. But there seems to be some reticence at Rupe’s own papers, but no doubt they’ll get round to it. David Jack of the Times has already made his own guarded comment: “@rupertmurdoch announces his engagement to Jerry Hall in today's @thetimes”. Yes, in the classified ads. One wonders who paid.
But no comment to go with the announcement. Could anyone do better? (Thankfully) former Tory MP Louise Mensch certainly could: “How nice, congrats @RupertMurdoch and @JerryHall_”. But she’ll have to grovel harder and write better to get another regular column. Couldn’t anyone give it the full gush?
They certainly could: Piers Morgan told his followers “Congrats to @JerryHall_ & @RupertMurdoch on their engagement. An inspiration to all romantics … I wish them well”.  Zelo Street understands that the extended Murdoch family has been most helpful to the former Screws and Daily Mirror editor recently.
Another pitching for Don Rupioni’s attention was appalling former Screws man Neil “Wolfman” Wallis, telling “Wow! Rupert Murdoch and Jerry Hall announce engagement – in classifieds”, but he won’t get any credit for quoting the Guardian in his Tweet. Nor will the Rasping F***wit (for it is he) be getting another gig with Rupe any time soon.
Also giving a cagey welcome to the engagement news were the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his rabble at the Guido Fawkes blog, now heavily dependent on the Murdoch empire, and, so I’m told, ever ready to accommodate the decisions handed down by the chief Mafiosi’s selected executive officers.
It was left to Joan Collins to give the happy couple the full showbiz schmaltz: “Congratulations to @JerryHall_ & Rupert Murdoch, I knew when we had dinner last month that a big event would be happening, you had a glow”. At the age of 84? That’s less plausible than the worst Dynasty storyline.

It’s always interesting to see how many media folk still live in fear of Don Rupioni. Maybe they all forgot what Danczuk said recently: “There’s no fool like an old fool”. Rupert Murdoch just proved that, but so many were too scared to say so.

[UPDATE 1810 hours: the phoney veneer of celebration over Creepy Uncle Rupe and Jerry Hall getting engaged was broken on ITV This Morning when co-host Philip Schofield was captured on camera looking less than totally convinced by the idea.
Zelo Street readers can see Schofield's priceless expression in the Vine above. If only others were so candid in their response to this non-event]


Andy McDonald said...

Dinner with Joan Collins and Rupert Murdoch. Oh the heady glamour of it.

I used to imagine the postprandial banter of the great and powerful to be a whirl of bon mots and witty one liners, the stuff the Algonquin round table was made of. Now in my jaded thirties, I learn it's either Cameron and Clarkson chomping on pork pies while watching Top Gear reruns, or fading (and shit) actresses and models fawning over each other.

If that's life at the top, I'm glad to have no part in it.

Anonymous said...

In the photo Joan tweeted immediately afterwards, it's quite clear the "glow" she was referring to belonged to Jerry Hall.

Shawlrat said...

No amount of money would persuade me to go there.
Not like he's going to be offering.

mirandola said...

Nation scarred by thought of Rupert Murdoch and Jerry Hall having sex


Anonymous said...

Possibly inheriting a large dollop of dosh soon has absolutely nothing to do with this.

Oh no.

A Kelly said...

His older children must be horrified.They had the right hump when Wendy Deng produced two more.

Anonymous said...

The thought of the ageing Texan cactus being rolled by the rotting OzYank prune has all the attraction of coprolite analysis.

I bet Murdoch's brats are shuffling for position already.

AndyC said...

Pass the sick bag, Alice.