The assembled hackery of the legendarily foul mouthed Paul Dacre is aghast today at a new and terrible development in the way England shops. “PLASTIC BAGS CHAOS LOOMS” thunders the headline, with readers told “As 5p charge starts in England, shoppers face tangle of red tape … Supermarkets fear complicated exemptions could lead to disputes … Government launches scheme to reduce litter and protect wildlife … Checkout staff given training to deal with argumentative shoppers … British Retail Consortium criticises 'unnecessarily complex system’”.
What's f***ing wrong with facing both ways on the same story, c***?!? Er, with the greatest of respect, Mr Jay
What’s the problem? “Supermarkets are braced for chaos and confusion at the checkout today as the 5p charge for plastic carrier bags launches in England. Bosses fear a complicated list of exemptions to the new rule could lead to disputes”.
So this charge for bags is A Very Bad Thing, yes? So the Mail will no doubt have harsh words for the newspaper that campaigned to “Banish the bag” back in 2008, telling readers “An astonishing 13billion free single-use plastic bags are dished out by Britain's High Street stores every year. These flimsy bags - a byproduct of crude oil - are issued at the rate of more than 800 a year to every family in the land”.
How bad was the problem? “Typically they are used for only 20 minutes before being thrown out. But they will take up to 1,000 years to rot away. If the Normans had used plastic bags in the 1066 invasion, archaeologists would still be digging them up today”. The same paper later told “The Government gave the stores an ultimatum that if they couldn’t curb the use of bags by voluntary efforts, they would be forced to act”.
The same paper that then favourably reported “Ministers force reluctant supermarkets to impose 5p charge … Charge is expected to cut use of plastic bags by at least three-quarters”. The same one that told readers “Landmark EU ruling to cut plastic bag use by 80%: Countries set deadline of 2025 to meet target through charges or bans”, proclaiming this as a victory for its readers and its “Banish the bag” campaign.
Indeed, this was the same paper that ONLY LAST MONTH said “5p charge on plastic bags could slash use by 71% as customers choose more eco-friendly options … Wales has had policy since 2001 causing 71% fall in usage, says report … From October 5 all large retailers in England will have to charge for bags … British supermarkets gave out a staggering 8.5billion plastic bags in 2014”.
Woah! The Daily Mail must have some pretty sharp words for that paper, looking at today’s front page headline. So what is the name of the paper that has been campaigning vigorously since 2008 to “Banish the bag” and slap that 5p charge on issuing the things? Why, it’s a paper called … The Daily Mail!
The Vagina Monologue and his obedient doggies caught bang to rights playing both sides of the field, even on its own campaigns. No change there, then.
As ever so often, it was all for the charge when it wasn't in place because the readers could be told that it wouldn't be impacting them - just the chavs and the other people. Because every Mail reader sees themselves as above that. Carrying a bag for life round the farmer's market like a character in a Joanna Trollope novel. It's not going to affect me...
Then reality bites. This is real, and suddenly the Mail reader discovers that they're not the idealised Mail reader, but the very real one instead. One day they'll realise they've been systematically lied to, but not today...
I just wonder what the Mail readers in Wales and Scotland will think of all this fuss....
The day is nearly over, and I've seen no reports of any riots.
I live in Wales and surprise surprise the world hasn't ended.
I wondered how self service tills would cope with the new system. The ones in Sainsburys had no bags, just the screen message "Have you scanned your bags? Yes No", which seemed to confuse most customers.
Which reminds me that there hasn't been a Daily Mail self-service till bashing article for a while. I expect another any day now.
To be fair, the government does seem to have made the rules more complex than they needed to. But it's hardly going to be the nightmare the Mail is making out.
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