It did not take long for Donald
Trump’s “October Surprise” to go
from what was supposed to be an event to change the course of the US
Presidential Election to the butt of rather a lot of jokes. Even the deeply
subversive Guardian got in on the
act. But the king of the combover got precisely nowhere with his urging of
Barack Obama to “do as I say or the kids
suffering from cancer get it”.
Donald, where's yer hairspray?
Among Trump’s long time – and clearly long suffering –
friends there was just a feeling that The Donald is making himself look silly.
This was underscored by Barbara Walters on The
View, who briefly interrupted yesterday’s show to give Trump her
personal and very direct message.
Ms Walters looked straight at the camera and told Trump “Donald,
you and I have known each other for many years and you know that I am your
friend and I think you are a brilliant businessman and you are great on
television and you have a fascinating personality. Donald, you're making a fool
of yourself. You're not hurting Obama, you're hurting Donald and that hurts me
because you're a decent man. Stop it. Get off it, Donald”.
Meanwhile, Adam
Gabbatt of the Guardian contacted
Trump’s HQ and suggested that The Donald make his own college records and
passport application available. He offered to make his own available in return.
Michael Cohen, special counsel to The Great Man, at first seemed amenable to
the offer, but when it became clear that Gabbett was serious, the mood changed.
“I think what you're doing is you're, whether you're trying to be funny,
intentionally or not, actually it's a stupid request on your behalf ... It's
trying to poke fun at the fact that the president of the United States is the
least transparent president that we've ever had. He may be the least
transparent politician we've ever come across” Cohen snapped at Gabbett.
Transparency, people. Not a cheap shot at the black guy.
But the best of the bunch came from Stephen Colbert in
Wednesday’s Colbert Report, who had a
message for Trump. “I will write you a
cheque for one million dollars from Colbert SuperPAC – you know I’ve got it –
to the charity of your choice. Anything – Save The Children, Feed The Children,
Put The Children On Child Apprentice, whatever. One million actual dollars”.
And then came the condition: “If you will let me dip my balls in your mouth ... but this dipping, and
I hope you’re listening very carefully, Mr Trump, has to be to my, and more
importantly, my balls’ satisfaction”. And that just about sums up the
credibility of Donald Trump and his witless intervention. It’s worthy only of
ridicule, and the exasperation of his friends. So, once again, it has to be
said.
Donald Trump, wannabe champion Credibility Apprentice – you’re
fired.
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