As the first show in the new series of BBC Top Gear was broadcast yesterday evening, some viewers were merely curious, some happy to see a new team in charge. But the most vocal were the obedient servants of the Murdoch mafiosi and their hangers-on, still sore at the removal of their man Jeremy Clarkson for an act of gross misconduct, and the installation in his place of Chris Evans and Matt Le Blanc.
Don't call us, we won't ... er, that's it
And there was no more ardent supporter of Jezza and his memory than former Countdown numbers person (but now reduced to self-promotion specialist) Carol Vorderman, who has clearly not been invited to be a guest star on the new Top Gear, probably because she is not only not a star, but arguably never was in the first place.
She took to Twitter to voice her displeasure before the end of the show: “Sorry #TopGear ... switching off ... looking forward to the proper boys on @amazonprimenow soon ... night all xxx”. “Proper boys”? Like the one who racially abused and then physically assaulted a producer because he couldn’t get a hot meal? This aspect of Jezza’s behaviour was pointed out to Ms Vorderman by several other Tweeters.
“So it's Fine For Clarkson to Assault People” mused one. A fuller reply suggested “I really don't want to watch someone who thinks he solves problems thru violence. Boys they are not. Learn to accept change”. Indeed. And one punter who was clearly unimpressed added “Clearly you think assaulting people who help put you on tv is ok then? Where do you stand on wifebeating?” Ouch!
Moreover, it did not go unnoticed that Ms Vorderman had previously been on good personal terms with Jezza and his crew, having appeared on Top Gear in the past: “because you're mates with them” was one reply. But she wasn’t getting much TV exposure nowadays, with one reply concluding “I don't think they'll be to worried Carol. You're no longer relevant”. Ouch again!
Indeed, her less than stellar televisual past and present was never going to be far away, from a reminder of her current circumstances - “To be fair I do the same when I see you endorsing debt consolidation loan companies when I know you'd never use one if in debt” - to one of the last serious programmes she did, all of six years ago: “Can't be as bad as your appearance on Question Time”. And another Ouch!
The adverse comments came despite Ms Vorderman’s penchant for blocking anyone doing so. And there had to be a Countdown reminder: “Awk, give it a chance Carol. Look how well Rachel Riley did on Countdown!” That Tweet earned got its author blocked. Then came the final, cruel twist, with “‘Bonkers granny with bad face lift and too much plastic surgery scuppers #TopGear comeback’ … Said no one”.
Carol Vorderman was never really a star, and now she’s just scratching around for attention. Sad, really.