When the Mash Report’s Rachel Parris introduced the depiction of former Screws and Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan with his head up the arse of Combover Crybaby Donald Trump, Morgan was incandescent with rage. His pals at Mail Online told “The Good Morning Britain presenter, who secured the first international interview with Trump last week, slammed the corporation for using the image on The Mash Report”.
There was more in the same whinging vein. “He wrote: 'Amusing though this image may be to many people, can you imagine the BBC broadcasting it if the President was Hillary Clinton or the interviewer was a woman? Is that how licence payer money should be spent?' The BBC thinks this is OK to broadcast. But if it depicted high profile women, there would be outrage. Why the double standard?’” And yet more.
“'If they did it to Hilary Clinton and Laura Kuenssberg - somebody WOULD be sacked.’” The problem for Morgan is that they wouldn’t, because whatever Ms Kuenssberg’s faults, she does not spend an inordinate amount of time systematically excusing the inexcusable behaviour of amateur human beings like Trump.
Morgan, on the other hand, does exactly that, and whenever The Donald is the subject of adverse comment, there he is at Mail Online, and, hello ITV bosses, misusing the platform given to him as co-host of Good Morning Britain, howling that Trump isn’t really the bad guy, and that everyone should Look Over There at Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and Bill Clinton. Give him time and he’ll be slagging off FDR, too.
He was at it yesterday, after US border forces decided to tear gas a group of central American refugees at the country’s southern border. It was all Obama’s fault, he declared, and Hill would have done the same thing. Next, he’ll be excusing Trump’s clumsy and ignorant comments about Theresa May’s Brexit deal, which a pound to a piece of shit says the clown hasn’t bothered to read. For Morgan, it can never be Trump’s fault.
The parents shouldn’t put their children in harm’s way (like they should abandon them beforehand, eh Piers?). And get this whopper: “We’ve seen what's happened in Europe over the past few years when countries lost control of their borders as millions of migrants swept across the continent … Too little was done too late to deal with the problem, and as a result, horrible amounts of death and chaos ensued”. Except they didn’t. The deaths came precisely because of borders being controlled, and closed off. This is a flat-out lie.
Mail Online may not have a problem with Morgan and his alternative reality, but ITV should. And as for those interviews that Morgan got with Trump, their news value is not unadjacent to zero. Last time, he failed to get “EU is our foe” (CBS TV got that one), or what he told Theresa May about “suing the EU” (The Andy Marr Show™ got that).
To paraphrase Peter Cook, “Piers, I have no problem with your access. Your access I like very much. I have nothing against your access. The problem is, neither do you”.
Piers Morgan’s grovelling support of this wayward President is fully deserving of the Mash Report’s derision. And his much-vaunted access to Trump is worse than useless if all he does is to pander to the intellectually bankrupt bully boy. I’ll just leave that one there.
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