Viewers of ITV breakfast offering Good Morning Britain who have not yet had enough of both former Screws and Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan, and Combover Crybaby Donald Trump, need fear not: the two have met for an alleged interview, and aboard Air Force One, although it appears that Morgan did his interview while the aircraft was sitting on the tarmac at London’s Stansted Airport and no flying was involved.
Fearless and challenging interviewing. But not here
The Morgan grandstanding was nevertheless off the scale, as he announced (fortunately, Twitter does not have a boorish shouty mode) “I’ve been on a few fancy planes in my time but nothing quite like this one. My world exclusive TV interview with President @realDonaldTrump aboard Air Force One airs Monday on @GMB & then an ITV special”.
And remember, Morgan isn’t really shilling for Trump and on a defensive hair trigger, although he is ready to sneer “To all demented anti-Trump haters already working themselves into a steaming rage about my new interview, here’s an idea: don’t watch it. Just put your sandals on, eat some lentils & smoke some waccy baccy. But don’t watch, it will only make you scweam & scweam until you’re sick”.
Unlike the far more expensive stuff Morgan ingests, along with his loud and obnoxious ranting and repeated waving of his wad at anyone in the vicinity, then. But then came the real sick bucket moment. “Had a delightful chat with @FLOTUS aboard Air Force One today. Such a strong, impressive First Lady doing a very difficult, stressful job with grace, dignity & humour”. Morgan was asking for it. And he duly got it.
The photo of him assuming the position - a clearly subservient position - with Trump was enough for the piss-taking to commence, with Kerry-Anne Mendoza offering “‘Granddad, where were you when the fascists came to hurt people?’ *Piers clears his throat uncomfortably”. The Tweeter known as Valley Bloke had one image in mind.
“I was here” he imagined The Great Man saying.
Graeme Demianyk reckoned it was more a David Brent and The Office sort of thing.
But Robert Macmillan, after replying “Nah, it’s more like this”, had other ideas.
Barney Farmer, meanwhile, envisaged a Simpsons kind of scenario.
And Richard Hall got the extra Cheeto with an eerily realistic Morgan-as-waiter idea.
Meanwhile, Robert Harris mused “Not sure about this remake of Jeeves and Wooster” as Mr Ceebs wondered “Does the Airforce One sign have to have the word ‘Aboard’ on it? Is it in case the owner forgets where he is?” And there was one last meme to come.
Morgan wanted to include the Queen in his Grovelfest, and Joe Gooch took him up on the idea. It looks scarily realistic. And one can imagine one’s monarch thinking just that.
The piss-taking of Piers Morgan (not at cinemas near you any time soon) is only just beginning. After we see how much he grovelled to Trump, it can only get worse for him.
Morgan misses the point.
The reason the establishment and its media is against Trump is that he's ludicrously OBVIOUS in his racism, misogyny and bullshit. Had he kept that lunacy to the boardroom, the men's room and the bar room they might even have tolerated him as One Of Them. After all, he's tried to keep Eisenhower's military-industrial complex happy with threats to destroy whole nations and a few More Bang For Your Buck missile raids, though making the bad mistake of complaining about the cost of bully boy military "manoeuvres" in South Korea and elsewhere. Nor did his attacks on the organised international spivvery of NAFTA and TTIP help him - he really must get it through his thick head that "globalisation" long ago replaced home grown spivvery. To say nothing of telling media that they're nothing but a gang of overpaid propaganda clerks.
Trump is a logical product of a corrupt, decaying system. But so are his establishment enemies. And so too is Morgan. They all deserve each other.
I'm looking forward to Trump denouncing Piss Morgan's interview as fake news.
Did Morgan incite people to break the law? Surely someone in a position of 'authority' (ie ranting on Twitter. And don't laugh - you might hurt yourself) should not be publically telling people to go and smoke drugs, even if it is on the verge of becoming acceptable?
And I bet his GMB bosses (I imagine there are people in charge of him, aren't there?) really enjoy him telling people not to watch. Can we guess that he will not be shouty and actually give Trump to answer each question without being interrupted (so that we can read in tomorrow's newspapers that Trump was distracted and off topic, hopefully before a bodyguard shoots Morgan by presidentia decree)?
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