Next week, the UK will have the dubious privilege of an official visit from Combover Crybaby Donald Trump, the cheap huckster, failed businessman, mafia confidant, congenital liar, misogynist bully, nailed-on racist and recipient of golden showers presently standing in as President of the USA. The visit is not universally popular; as such, there are a series of protests planned during the course of his sojourn here.
Squeaky orange friend finger up the bum time
So what kind of protests are planned? As the BBC has reported, “Plans to fly a giant inflatable depicting Donald Trump as a baby over London during the US president's visit have sparked an online row … London Mayor Sadiq Khan has given permission for the helium-filled six-metre (19.7ft) high balloon to fly … Mr Trump is due to meet Theresa May at 10 Downing Street on 13 July”. Not everyone was amused.
Trump’s fans certainly weren’t, not least of whom was Piers Morgan. “The Trump baby balloon is genius. a) It will definitely encourage the President not to be puerile or childish. b) It will definitely encourage the President to give Britain a great new trade deal post-Brexit. Well done everyone!” This man is a bit of a crawler.
James Felton put him straight. “a) If being President of the USA doesn’t encourage you to not be a fucking child nothing will b) The goal here is to reject a psychopath who thinks keeping kids in cages is fine, not appease him to get scraps of trade & some swimming pool chicken. Other than that well done Piers”. Quite. But more was to come.
Former UKIP Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage was incensed. “Sadiq Khan has allowed an inflatable ‘Trump baby’ blimp to fly in London. This is the biggest insult to a sitting US President ever”. Abe Lincoln, Jack Kennedy … but let’s move right along.
One Stateside Tweeter was unimpressed. “Perhaps Trump should've considered the consequences of his behavior when he mocked London after a terror attack. If you like him so much, you're welcome to keep him”. Another simply told “He deserves it, he’s a disgrace. Look at his insulting tweets. Or the insults when he speaks publicly. He should try acting civilly and acting like a grown ass man and behave with the dignity that equals the office. FULL STOP”. Back in the UK, Owen Jones clearly liked the idea.
“I know, brilliant isn’t it” he responded, before reminding Farage “The hard right: The left are easily triggered snowflakes who hate freedom of expression … The hard right also: Waaaaa waaaaa the mean left are putting a balloon baby Trump in the sky”.
Meanwhile Marina Hyde of the Guardian reminded Nige just how crass his claim was - “Couple of presidential widows would probably have argued the toss with you, but if you need to wet your pants about a balloon, so be it” - before reminding everyone else why Farage was getting so uptight. “Nigel getting v worried that his crush won’t like him anymore if he has a shit state visit”. And if nobody likes Nige, Nige gets less money.
As to the insult idea, Sean Rostron had news for Farage: “Really? Come to Birkenhead and see my ‘fuck off you fat bald stupid orange wanker’ inflatable in the shape of an orange arsehole”. And Technically Ron reminded Nige “Today in 2018 the people that say people are too easily offended these days are offended by..... a balloon”. End of story.