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Saturday, 4 November 2017

Prison Planet Brain Farce

There are downsides to any well-remunerated berth in today’s New Media: just like with the press, there are lines to take, agendas to promote, names to drop and not to drop, and products to place. And it is the last of those categories that has sprayed the remaining credibility of Paul Watson, aka Prison Planet, up the wall in no style at all overnight. Watson has had to promote the wares of InfoWars.
Not enough Brain Force to get out of this job, eh?

As befits the creation of the screamingly batshit Alex Jones, the merchandise that comes with the brand requires some suspension of disbelief in order to appear credible, and not even the advocacy of the Battersea bedroom dweller can disguise this inconvenient fact.
Watson has been prevailed upon to put on a straight face and slightly serious demeanour in order to advertise Brain Force Plus, of which, as the blurb says, “Flip the switch and supercharge your state of mind with the all-new Brain Force PLUS: 20% more capsules and a critically enhanced formula featuring a brand new ingredient and increased potency - all for the same low price”. And what, pray, is in this miracle remedy?
Well, there’s “Bacopa herb extract”, along with “Yerba mate leaf powder” and “Black pepper fruit extract”. And Vitamin B12. But no Monosodium Glutamate, and definitely no Lark’s Vomit. And don’t forget, mugs, “It has taken over a year to develop and procure the all-new Brain Force PLUS formula, with the Infowars Crew and the scientists behind Infowars Life field testing hundreds of different options before choosing the undisputed winning formula that would go on to become Brain Force PLUS”.
So it’s not a quack remedy or a con job, oh no. But that did not prevent the ridicule raining down on the hapless Watson: after the initial alert from Chris Caesar - “this is the funniest thing I've ever seen lmao” - the burst of energy hit everyone except the InfoWars stooge. Dan Waddell chipped in “Been at the Brain Force for breakfast. Now ready to red pill a generation before lunch and absolutely shred some SJWs by tea”.
The great Doc Hackenbush brought us “At Home With Prison Planet: Brain Force Plus”, and the excellent Nick Harvey contributed “When someone gives you Brain Force Plus instead of an E”. Watson, clearly both oblivious to the fact that everyone was laughing at him and not with him, and utterly devoid of a sense of humour, sulked. But loudly.
Thanks for the free promo, verified libtard, you're literally making me money” he sniped, only to generate more ridicule. If he needs half a bottle of quack supplements before he can come out with that, God Only Knows what state he’s in without them.

But as it’s another quack remedy, you know the answer. He’s the same witless idiot as before. Except slightly more out of pocket. Fool and his money, eh? What a clown.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I would think ranting righty Watson and crackpot Jones are perfect chums.

One is as fucking crazy as the other.

Unknown said...

(raises hand at back) Excuse me, But isn't an extract of the fruit of black pepper, err, … black pepper?