Tories Losing Plot On EU

The Tory Party has started to behave like the least organised collective of headless chicken impersonators following the faintly preposterous idea that they might show just how jolly tough they are prepared to be with Johnny Foreigner by voting against their own Queen’s Speech. As Corporal Clegg, Mil The Younger and their followers prepare their popcorn order, Young Dave’s mob is tearing itself apart.

And once again the subject, as it was with Margaret Thatcher, “Shagger” Major, William ‘Ague and Iain Duncan Cough, is the EU. Worse, Cameron and his jolly good chaps have only themselves to blame: much of the Europhobic frothing published by the usual suspects in the Fourth Estate has been either sourced or encouraged by them. Now they are falling apart on the issue – again.

Attempting to use the chaos for the advancement of Himself Personally Now was Michael “Oiky” Gove, who told James Landale, standing in on The Andy Marr Show (tm), that “life outside would be perfectly tolerable, we could contemplate it”, before suffering an annoying moment of loyalty and backing his party leader. Yeah, like we should believe what a Tory MP and former Murdoch hack tells us.

Gove’s newest polecat, the loathsome Toby Young, was in the meantime telling anyone who was in the vicinity to “look over there”. Yes, the Tories were united, and it was Labour who were in the mire. But at the Express, Patrick “Lunchtime” O’Flynn was having none of that, telling that having next year’s local elections on the same day as the European ones was panicking the Tories yet further.

Meanwhile, Gove gets a rave review from Iain Martin, who asserts that “the education secretary is becoming a classy media performer” (Shurely “prize bullshitter” – Ed) and excuses his apparent deviation from the approved Tory line as a “clever intervention”. This is because “Gove used to be a news editor himself”. Martin, a former Murdoch employee, manages not to say who for.

But the biscuit is well and truly taken by (yes, it’s her again) Nadine Dorries, writing in today’s Sun. The correct course of action, she asserts, is for the Tories to dump the Lib Dems and arrange a pact with UKIP. How this works before the next General Election, given that such a move would divest the party of its Parliamentary majority, is not told. And only selected Tories should apply for the Dorries coupon.

What is more interesting about her article is that she will be getting paid for it, and that the Mirror has now latched on to her not having declared her fee for last year’s jungle jaunt. Ms Dorries told them she hadn’t received a payment, but it must have gone somewhere. Her Sun article tells that “the next two years in politics will be the most exciting we have seen since the last war”.

They might just, but not for the reasons she envisages.