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Monday, 2 July 2018

Arron Banks Tennis Expertise ISN’T

Probably needing a break from the incessant barrage of questions about just how he came by all those millions that were committed to the various Leave campaigns, alleged multi-millionaire Arron Banks has decided to turn his attention to tennis, as Wimbledon fortnight is once again upon us. Sadly, his knowledge of the sport is not even up to the amateur level of his commitment to the human race.
Tennis expert? Don't even think about it
Arron who?

Banksy showed the world the paucity of his knowledge by deciding to pick an argument with, of all tennis people, Martina Navratilova, who just happens to have won nine women’s singles finals at the All England Club, along with every other Grand Slam singles title, and several more at doubles. It is not an exaggeration to say she knows her way around the court. Which Banksy promptly managed to get himself laughed out of.
Banks’ fateful intervention came after Ms Navratilova checked out the latest from the Observer’s Carole Cadwalladr on The Great Man’s activities and concluded “This is getting interesting”. Banksy wasn’t going to let that one go.
Unlike your tennis style” he sniped back. Had Banks ever seen Ms Navratilova in action on the court? Probably not. And he wasn’t going anywhere with that attitude.
How sweet of you. My tennis style is a lot of things, but boring? I don’t think so:)” she replied, at which point Banksy decided he would go schmoozing. Badly.
I’m at Wimbledon for the men’s semi finals , happy to discuss @carolecadwalla mad conspiracies over a glass of pyms!” Hark at the Kirk St Moritz of Catbrain. He might have sounded credible if he’d managed to spell properly.
Instead, it was Ms Navratilova who had to do the spelling for him, as well as telling him where he got off. “I have no idea who you are and to get me to actually meet with you after insulting me-no , I don’t think so. And it’s Pimm’s BTW ,not Pyms….enjoy the tennis, hope it won’t be boring;)” The spirit of Dan Maskell says “Oh my word!
In the meantime, Banks’ clumsy idiocy was becoming a spectator sport in its own right, the gallery including Tom Peck of the Independent, who observed “Arron Banks there, in real life, actually critiquing 18 time grand slam [singles title] winner Martina Navratilova over her ‘tennis style.’” And Ms Cadwalladr was also on the case.
Arron Banks is now mansplaining tennis....to Martina Navratilova” she noted, making sure that the book of her skewering him and Wiggy will feature their unintentional hilarity.
He's the Wimbledon top seedy!

Meanwhile, Banks blundered on, showing the world just how much he really knows about tennis. “I prefer Anna Kournikova , that Russian blonde bird , she is gorgeous with a wonderful serve and volley”. Yes, the only reason he takes any interest in the women’s game is to have a casual letch and prove he’s just a dirty old man.

Pity the obligatory raincoat will look a bit obvious at Wimbers, mind. What a clown.


AndyC said...

Is it any coincidence that Banks prefers a Russian female player? His leching after said 'blonde bird' aside, of course.

Anonymous said...

It's rumoured he has an affinity for all things Russian.

Anonymous said...

His 'joke' about Anna Kournikova doesn't even work as she had a notoriously rotten serve.

Richard Gadsden said...

Marina Navratilova was the last player to dominate the women's game with serve-and-volley.

And, while Kournikova had a fine volley, she had a notorious weakness on the serve - which forced her to play baseline, against her natural volleying style. This is why she was so much better at doubles, where she got the chance to play at the net without needing a great serve, than at singles.

As for Arron Banks, well, least said soonest mended.

Anonymous said...

Yes, Kournikova was a decent doubles player. Her and Jonas Bjorkman made a particularly good team and it's a shame she didn't concentrate on doubles over singles.