Bozo Shameless EU Trade Deal U-Turn

Not long ago, alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson and his pals were relaxed, blasé even, at the prospect of leaving the EU without a trade deal in place. But that was then, and after Bozo’s pal Combover Crybaby Donald Trump lost the US Presidential Election, this is now. Joe Biden does not like Bozo. He will play hardball with him, Liz Truss, Dominic Raab and the rest of our Government’s piss-poor cabinet.

Can we talk about trading these chaps, please?

So by total coincidence you understand, Bozo has today signalled a screeching 180-degree rubber-burning U-Turn: we are now very interested indeed in an EU trade deal. This was made clear in an interview with Sky News, where Bozo casually dropped the announcement into a reply. His hardline Brexiteers may not be so casual later.

“I’ve always been a great enthusiast for a trade deal with our European friends and partners, I think it’s there to be done. The broad outlines are pretty clear, we just need to get on and do it if we can. I’ve said that to Ursula von der Leyen just yesterday and she totally agrees with me [!]”. Whatever will Andrew Bridgen and Mark François say to that?

Then he talked down a UK-US trade deal. “On a trade deal with the US … I’m a keen student of United States trade policy and … they’re tough negotiators”. This means it’s not worth trying until the UK-EU deal is secured. “I’ve never believed that this is something that was going to be a complete pushover under any US administration”. Freely translated: Joe and Kamala saw him coming, and Trump wouldn’t have been any more generous.

So no US deal? “I think there’s a good chance we’ll do something”. Notice the lack of the key words “trade deal”. Do go on. “I’ll tell you what I’m very excited about at the moment”. Would Sky News viewers care to Look Over There? “The global consensus on tackling climate change”. Soil the bed, those flat earther Tory back benchers are going to have to block book the ICU at St Thomas’s Hospital at this rate. And there is more.

Hmm, maybe you should say sorry and ask nicely ...

“Next year the UK hosts the COP26 summit [it’s in Glasgow], and already you’ve got country after country lining up to support the ambition of Net Zero by 2050. So Japan came through, [South] Korea came through, even China has come through with a plan to do it by 2060 which is absolutely fantastic for the world, and I think now with President Biden in the White House, we have the real prospect of the American global leadership in tackling climate change and the UK was the first major country to set out that objective”.

Bozo’s media cheerleaders will be aghast. He’s going green, even if it is, to an extent, a deflection from his U-Turn on a UK-EU trade agreement. What will the Telegraph and Spectator tell their readers? How will TalkRADIO’s unappealing roster of hosts manage to perform the logic gymnastics needed to support all that “green crap”?

The problem is that those media cheerleaders might instead round on him - but that might backfire, given the US administration will be no better disposed to (say) Michael “Oiky” Gove, who grovelled before Trump to secure an interview. But good of Bozo to let us know that he is now rushing back into the arms of the EU. If only he and his pals hadn’t spent the last five years slagging off all those who they now have to win round once more.

Boris Johnson is beyond shameless. But you knew that anyway. And we’re still screwed.

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