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Tuesday, 10 November 2020

Claire Fox For Ministerial Promotion

Those who serve in the Government of alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson need one skill, and one alone: they must be prepared to support that Government, no matter how pointless or self-destructive the measures proposed. That is all: actual competence is unnecessary, other than the ability to flannel pointlessly, and with a total lack of self-awareness, during any kind of media interrogation.

Claire Fox

And now Bozo and his pals have a new recruit to their cause who embodies that ethos to a T: step forward genocide denier and terrorist apologist Claire Fox, who was briefly an MEP for the Brexit Party, and has now been inexplicably awarded a peerage. She can rabbit to no purpose for the cameras. Could she possibly do loyalty and ineptitude as well?


She certainly could. When the Internal Markets Bill, otherwise known as the Polecat Enabling Act, came to the House of Lords yesterday, Ms Fox spoke in favour of the clauses which would enable the UK Government to break international law. Sadly, her advocacy was in vain, as the vote on those clauses was to strike them out, by 433 to 165, a majority of 268. Then it was discovered that Ms Fox was one of the 433.


Yes, she had achieved the Bozo trinity: aimless flannel, loyalty and ineptitude. The Tweeter known as Otto English noted the occasion. “So Claire Fox robustly defended the government's Internal Market Bill in the Lords last night only to then accidentally vote against it - helping defeat the very bill she'd spoken so passionately in defence of. November just keeps getting better”. Philip Ardagh congratulated her.


This is Claire Fox. Hello, Claire! Claire was an MEP. Claire is now in the House of Lords. Well done, Claire. Claire argued FOR Johnson’s breach of the Good Friday Agreement. Claire then voted AGAINST it by mistake. Ooops! Well done, Claire. Be more Claire. Keep Irish Peace!” At least she then admitted her mistake.


Voting app threw me. I confessed it to everyone there when I realised. Lib Dems especially bemused at my incompetence. Luckily with such a HUGE gap in votes, my rooky inability to work out the tech had little impact. Hopefully my speech made more of a mark”. Yes, it put her in line for a ministerial promotion. But in what department?


Author Tom Easton had the answer. “Leaked Government shortlist for the post of Head of Coronavirus Vaccine Distribution … Liz Truss … Chris Grayling … Gemma Collins … Michael Spencer … Del Boy Trotter … Rudy Giuliani … Mr Bean … Joey Essex … Claire Fox”. Andrew Adonis was sure that Bozo would soon recognise her endeavour.


In an odd development, Claire Fox managed to argue passionately FOR Johnson’s breach of the Good Friday Agreement in the House of Lords last nigh, but then voted AGAINST it … It’s so Johnsonian to be for and against Brexit at the same time, she is bound to become a minister soon!” It’s the ultimate contrarian gesture.

The Downing Street announcement is only a matter of time. We remain governed by fools.


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6 comments:

Unknown said...

Ah, Dish and Dishonesty, gets more prescient by the day.

"You lost the vote. Your monkey obligingly voted for us"

Unknown said...

That first photo bears a disconcerting resemblance to Rosemary West. What a ghastly bunch the Spiked lot are.

Andy McDonald said...

From "I'm Alan Partridge"

Sophie: Oh, Ben. Mr Partridge was just saying he couldn’t see “Bangkok Chick” Boys from his bathroom.

Ben: Well you can if you angle the mirror by the door. D’you want me to show you?

Alan: No! I only watched it for five minutes! It’s the remote control’s confusing.

Ben: Oh! What you will have done is, when it flashed up on your screen ‘do you want to watch “Bangkok Chick Boys”, you must have pressed the button that says ‘yes’.

Alan: Yeah, as I say it’s very confusing.

Ben: D’you want me to come up and show you how to press the button that says ‘No’?

Alan: Yes. Yes, I want to show me the button that says ‘No’.

Ben: Oh, and I’ll show you that mirror thing.

Alan: No! Look, erm. D’you want me to settle this bill?

Sophie: Err, no. I mean yes! You’re right it is confusing, isn’t it?

From Father Ted:

Supervisor: Now, Tom, this is the first time you've been trusted with such a large consignment of raw sewage. Are you sure you'll be all right?


Tom: Don't worry about me at all.

Supervisor: This button opens the doors and this one shoots the sewage out.

Tom: This for the doors and this shoots the stuff out?

Supervisor: No, the other way around.

Tom: Right you are!

Good luck, so.

Anonymous said...

Given those parameters, I'd say she's over-qualified.

Anonymous said...

Meanwhile, as the masses are distracted by Biden's win, the Tory Scum are pushing to remove encryption from chat apps. Welcome to Bojo's STASI state! Priti Vacant will soon be owning your dickpicks!







Anonymous said...

Claire Fox - wasn't she one of the "Living Marxism" lot? Or was that a namesake?