Strat Solo Shows How To Wield An Axe

This week’s events in Downing Street have shown us the difference between those who merely take dictation, and those who actually do things: while James Forsyth churns out ideological arsewipe for the increasingly alt-right Spectator magazine, fed by his pal Lee Cain, his wife Allegra Stratton has not only shown Cain the door, but caused the obnoxious SOB to be propelled through it. And she didn’t leave it at that.

There then came the challenge of removing chief polecat Dominic Cummings, and once more Ms Stratton, aided and abetted by Carrie Symonds, who has been leaning appropriately on alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, has proved more than equal to the task. Cummings is out. Bozo is, it seems, stopping short of driving the country off the No Deal Brexit cliff edge just so Dom can say he’s winning.

Again, Forsyth and wife see this very differently. He waxes lyrical about the Polecat, telling anyone not yet asleep that Cummings has “bent the arc of history”, which is an interesting way of saying “fucked up the country for shits and giggles”. She realises that having Dom in Number 10, constantly campaigning and not doing anything about the business of Government, is why the place is in chaos and the Tory Party almost mutinous.

Bozo has not been best advised on the Coronavirus pandemic - remember that initial flirtation with the idea of “herd immunity” - and nor have negotiations with the EU and others over trade deals gone well. There has been too much digging in of heels only for the back benchers who backed him to be dismayed at yet another screeching U-Turn.

The BBC has reported that “a senior Downing Street source said that Mr Cummings would be ‘out of government’ by Christmas”. Wonder who that was, Ms S? Political editor Laura Kuenssberg added “A No 10 insider told me Mr Cummings ‘jumped because otherwise he would be pushed soon’, suggesting that, in the last few days, the prime minister saw that the former Vote Leave team was just ‘in it for themselves’”. Rien de merde, hein?

Brexit preparations are literally mired in delay - the huge new lorry park near Ashford was flooded last week - and without some kind of extension to the transition period, Britain faces food shortages, not to mention price increases. The Internal Market Bill has to lose the lawbreaking clauses, or our relationship with not just the EU, but the USA, is screwed.

Action in dealing with Covid-19 needs to be decisive and coordinated with the devolved Governments. The deliberate divisiveness may float the Polecat’s boat, but it’s messed up the Government, killed a lot of people, and left a nasty taste in the mouths of those Bozo needs to win round if he has to stand any chance of sticking around. Hence Dom is out.

The Beeb’s Chris Mason observed yesterday “New No10 spokeswoman Allegra Stratton - a key figure in opposing the appointment of Lee Cain as Chief of Staff - gets into a car in Downing St and lowers the window in front of reporters and photographers”. She’s shaken some sense into Bozo. And she’d rather like the world to know it.

Now Johnson has an opportunity to stop being a lazy SOB and do some governing. Or bring someone in who will, like all those London deputy Mayors, do the job for him.

Enjoy your visit to Zelo Street? You can help this truly independent blog carry on talking truth to power, while retaining its sense of humour, by adding to its Just Giving page at

https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/zelostreet7