Welcome To Zelo Street!

This is a blog of liberal stance and independent mind

Saturday, 28 November 2020

A Nurse In Manchester ISN’T

[Update at end of post]

Some interest, and more than a little annoyance, has been caused over the past few days by a Twitter account called @colonelcutshaw, which claims to be “A Nurse In Manchester”. But, as with so many bots and trolls, it is nothing of the sort. It isn’t a nurse, and most likely isn’t in any part of the UK. But it is part of the pandemic denial squad.

A look through the account’s back catalogue shows that, despite joining Twitter in 2009, there are no Tweets for that year, or for 2010. All that remains for 2011 are attempts to get the attention of screen writers like Mark Gatiss, and film critics, like Anne Billson.

Nor is there anything for 2012, 2013, 2014 or 2015. All that can be seen for 2016 is more trolling of Anne Billson, and all that came in November of that year. No nursing stuff. Only one Tweet from 2017, a reply to artist Alison Jardine. Was nothing of any note happening in the nursing world that year? Or 2018? Only one reply from that year, too.

2019 would be different, though, with the looming pandemic. Er, no it wouldn’t: back to trolling Mark Gatiss and Anne Billson. Nothing about nursing. At all. And then, in April this year, suddenly it’s a staff nurse! With a clear fixation. "I'm a nurse and seeing DNACPR forms being given out every day to people who aren't even ill, just older”.

DNACPR, you say? “Some care homes are getting DNACPRs in place for all residents. Many become unwell but not all with covid. First sign of a cough - anticipatory medication sent in … I'm a staff nurse at the so called 'front line'. I've been preparing for the 'wave of death' for 6 weeks. Actually, this is the quietist work has ever been. However, the eagerness for GPs to give out DNACPRs to people who haven't even got this virus - a story yet to be told”. The quietest. As the account claims it is right now.

But there is always the giveaway: despite claiming to be in Manchester, and talking briefly about Stockport town centre, we get “I'm in Greater Manchester, UK. Even mentioning alternative view points to our government's current plan makes people lose their shit”. Who says “Greater Manchester, UK”? And who says “view points” as two separate words?

The use of English is odd. Take this example: "You shouldn't see a nurse unless you need to see a nurse. If a nurse is on TV/YouTube crying about her job then send me a better nurse please. Nurses deal in life & death, it shouldn't be easy. This isn't a war, you're not being fuckin' shot at! Oh for the tough nurse of old”. Why the need for all those separate sentences. Why the deliberate and sometimes odd punctuation?

On it goes: “Hospitals will get busy again because IT'S WINTER!. This happens, ooo let me see, every fuckin' year! But let's conveniently forget what we've known forever and pretend the world's ending instead”. This may not even be a native English speaker.

Then, finally, the ultimate short separate sentence Tweet. “I'm an Intensive Care Nurse [not a Staff Nurse, then]. We are pretty much immune now. Less [fewer] people are ill or dying. Hospitals are quiet [again]. You can't 'get it again', you have antibodies. You don't need masks. If there ever was a 'pandemic', it's over. Life can return to normal. The government are lying”. The only thing lying is this bot account.

And Twitter needs to close it down. So it can crawl back under its rock.

Enjoy your visit to Zelo Street? You can help this truly independent blog carry on talking truth to power, while retaining its sense of humour, by adding to its Just Giving page at


[UPDATE 1805 hours: the bot has gone!

An hour and a half after the Zelo Street post went live, the @colonelcutshaw account vanished.

As can be seen, that account no longer exists. It went without so much as an argument, or to put it another way, Oh What A Giveaway! The bot farm from which it sprung, sadly, will have lots more of those pretend nurses with which to spread Coronavirus pandemic misinformation.

Wherever it came from, thank goodness it's gone]


mbc1955 said...

And I'm a native born Mancunian who's lived in Stockport for the last thirty years and I can categorically tell you that 'lose their shit' is not Manc-speak. It's a bloody Americanism.

Unknown said...

He is not the only one, take a look at Simon Dolan, who is another scattergun.

david walsh said...

I'm a 71 y.o. born in England to Irish parents, so I have a different language pattern to people 30 years younger than me, let alone 50 years. Most people under 40 used a keyboard from primary school and adopted text speak rather than formal English as part of growing up. Verbal communication is different; the growth of West Indian slang in southern urban communication has happened over my adult lifetime, and with the spread of informal video streaming from US sources will change yet further. I also know people, some who work in the NHS and care sector who do not accept as given every facet of government or health agency belief and advice. I think they are wrong, but that is their stance nonetheless. The pattern of usage looks strange, but we all know people who go through fits and starts of keyboard manic activity. Just saying.

Steve Woods said...

Twitter has taken the account down, Tim.

A search for the account name returns a 'does not exist' page.

Anonymous said...

Thank goodness for that, I was feeling extremely sorry for them. There are worse things than being in Mancunia but not many!