Theresa May Advisor PWNED

It seems so long ago: the Windrush scandal, the Dementia Tax, a 20-point-plus Tory poll lead all but sprayed up the wall in perhaps the worst General Election campaign in living memory, and then a foray into journalism that splashed dog-whistle anti-Semitism across the front page of the increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph. Such have been the career highlights of Theresa May’s former sidekick Nick Timothy.

But he remains unrepentant, taking to social media on a regular basis to share his superior insights with those fortunate enough not to have fallen asleep. So it was that he thundered yesterday “I see we’re now trying to decolonise the citizenship test and handbook. If you want to tell new citizens an unpatriotic and negative story about Britain, let a political party put that to the public. Let’s see what answer comes back”.

Facts? Pah! Let’s focus group a bit of that Good Old Populism! Jonathan Portes, who would rather stick with the facts, mused “Facts are negative and unpatriotic, argues [Nick Timothy]. And ‘the People’ don't want them. Orbanism in action [And of course he knows more about British history, slavery and empire than Roderick Floud, [David Olusoga], [William Dalrymple], [Kim Wagner], etc, etc..]”. What say The Great Man to that?

Would there be a period of reflection, a confident parrying of criticism? No chance: it was straight on to the petulant and jealous: “Here he comes. ‘Impartial empiricist’ Jonathan Portes comes smearing and misrepresenting conservative views again. And I’ll bet those civil service contracts keep coming”. He keeps getting gigs and IT’S NOT FAIR!

 

Portes continued to deploy a straight bat. “This is odd. [Nick Timothy]’s view that any version of history except his nationalist and xenophobic one is ‘unpatriotic’ isn't ‘conservative’ at all. I don't think any decent conservative would espouse such views - nor indeed endorse Orban's racist, antisemitic regime”. Would Timothy stop and think?

Would he heck. “Liar continues to lie and smear. And goes on with his work as a supposedly impartial empiricist. God help academia and anybody who contracts with this utter fraud”. What has Portes said that is untrue? James Morrow was unimpressed. “So says the man that steered May from a resounding majority to near annihilation. If you have any marbles left I’d hoard them rather than waste them in some ludicrous tweet”.

Another Tweeter concurred. “I'm sure Professor Jonathan Portes is devastated by this condemnation from Nick Timothy, a man, less we forget, who is most famous for messing up the 2017 general election and also parroting antisemitic conspiracy theories about George Soros”. The Telegraph Soros front page looked bad. Because it was bad.

Meanwhile, Portes gently broke the news to Timothy that this was a campaign destined to develop not necessarily to the latter’s advantage. “Oh dear. [Nick Timothy] seems rather upset. When I call someone a liar, I actually say, with references and links, what they're lying about [small hint there]. But, as he's already said, he thinks facts, data, and evidence are ‘negative and unpatriotic’, of course”. And we think Dominic Cummings is bad?

Why did Theresa May nearly lose the 2017 General Election? It seems increasingly that Nick Timothy may be able to furnish us with the answer. I’ll just leave that one there.

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