It’s The Tobes And Del Show!

Great comedy double acts sometimes happen by design. On occasion they come into being by accident. And the latest in the genre has evolved without the two people concerned even being aware that it is happening. The latest bringers of unintentional hilarity? I give you the Telegraph twosome, the loathsome Toby Young and his not very straight man James “saviour of Western civilisation” Delingpole.

Not even a little fair and balanced

Del Boy kicks things off by feeding Tobes some seriously straight stuff, except that the effect is not quite as he intended. “Toby, mate, it’s not often these days we disagree, but ...” he begins, before selling the pass. Del does not like politics. A number of jaws can be heard striking the deck. No, seriously, he hates “the petty backbiting ... the jockeying for power”.

Yeah, dead right eh Del? There’s nothing petty about your backbiting, is there? No way José. Delingpole does proper backbiting: shouting “liar”, firing off a barrage of abuse at anyone of opposing view, routinely comparing them to paedophiles, laying every adverse effect suffered by mankind in the past century and a half at their door. Del does proper backbiting. No messing.

Keep those hands where we can see them

And Del Boy doesn’t really go with this democracy thing, either. Too much compromise for his liking. But he does give his adoring readers (Sid and Doris Bonkers) a tip on how to vote: UKIP. Yes, this stern critic of big Government recommends voting for a party that wants to spend more on whatever will get them votes, but not say how they’ll pay for it.

How the audience rolls in the aisles at that one! Woah! Time to hand over to Tobes and generate even more mirth! So what’s he up to? He’s working from home. That doesn’t sound too promising, though. But hang on, he’s taking a break! Nah, it’s only to watch the Daily Politics. People in an office might disapprove of this, you see. And he’s got a cracking reason to work from home.

It’s easier to get work done there because “Being a red-blooded, heterosexual male, I find it difficult to concentrate if there’s a halfway good-looking woman within a 25-yard radius of my desk”. What? Ho yus, and as the man said, there’s more: “I remember having the same problem as a student trying to write essays in the university library”. Dermot Murnaghan has nothing on Tobes!

And those up-themselves New Yorkers had a problem with this! They gave Tobes a bollocking for hiring a strippergram! I mean, he’s just as down with the yoof as anyone – he plays the Sex Pistols loudly! What a man! What a great example to, er, nobody at all. What a complete pillock.

Hate to have to tell you, Del and Tobes, but this is hilarious stuff. And that the audience is not laughing with you, but at you.