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Sunday 25 October 2020

Drugs-For-Food Tory Has His Bluff Called

Mark Jenkinson is the first Tory to be returned at a General Election for the Workington constituency since the seat was created in 1918. Not content to merely rest on his laurels, he has decided to intervene in the debate over free school meal provision being extended to holiday periods, but in his own inimitable manner. Jenkinson, only a Tory since he resigned from UKIP in 2016, has made a claim he may have trouble standing up.

Mark Jenkinson MP

Seeing that his colleague Ben Bradley had been called out by Labour’s deputy leader Angela Rayner for claiming that vouchers had effectively been used as payment for brothels and drug dealers, and knowing that Ms Rayner was Tory Target Person #1 right now, he latched on to Bradley’s denial, and raised Ms Rayner a whole stack of chips.

Worth a few grams of Snow, d'you think?

Here, [Angela Rayner] is either being disingenuous or really hasn’t a clue what goes on in her constituency. I hope for the sake of her constituents it’s the former. I know in my constituency that, as tiny as a minority it might be, food parcels are sold or traded for drugs”. Would Sir care to double down and leave us in no doubt?

He certainly would. “And that’s parcels, not vouchers - which have greater monetary value. As I said, a relatively minuscule number - but we can’t pretend it doesn’t happen. Pretending, to score political points, helps no-one”. Bernadette Meaden was unimpressed. “So for the alleged faults of a tiny minority, they should all go without? Last year around a third of children in your constituency were in poverty. That's probably increased”.

The people at Evolve Politics sensed an opportunity for a little sport. “Hi Mark! Have you got any evidence for this? Would love to see it!” But they could safely be ignored, as they were mere Rotten Lefties™. We know this as “Middle-class wannabe politicians can virtue signal as much as they want. Pretending helps no-one. I’m a working-class Workingtonian. These are my communities - the communities I grew up in, that I spend my time in, that I live in. I wouldn’t change 99.9% of it for the world”. He knows, you know.

Did his comments help? “No, the work I do on the ground, because I won’t ignore it, does. And the work of every community volunteer, every addiction counsellor, every job coach, every social worker and every police officer”. The Secret Barrister remained sceptical. “In over a decade of prosecuting and defending criminal cases involving the supply of drugs, from street dealing to multi-million pound importations, I have yet to encounter the phenomenon of a drug dealer who accepts food parcels in lieu of cash”.

Mark Hebden was more than sceptical. “Try as I might, I can't find a single drug dealer who will give me a few grams of marching powder for for a jar of Dolmio, 400g of long grain and a banana. Starting to think Tories are liars”. Well, Jenkinson has now been given the opportunity to disseminate his claims before a wider audience.

Darshna Soni of Channel 4 News has been in touch. “Hi Mr Jenkinson, have you any examples of food parcels bring sold or traded for drugs? I’ve been reporting on the issue of holiday hunger and #FreeSchoolMeals for a while now, I’ve never come across this. Would like to interview your constituents if you know of any actual cases?” Nick Martin of Sky News added “Let us know when you find out Darshna. This is certainly worth exploring”.

So come on Mark Jenkinson - show us the evidence. After we get the popcorn in.

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Anonymous said...

Stewart Lee had an entirely unbelievable piece in The Guardian today where the shit Wizard of Oz (Cummings) declaims, “We must use our sock puppets in the internet, the press and the BBC to obscure it, flood the info-sphere with synonymous ideas, fabricating post-Brexit deals with nonexistent places and creating plausible backstories to stiff any grots that would verify them. Be about it!”

As if a sequence of Tory NPCs would pop up at random to make increasingly obscene comments about Brexit deals or child poverty or herd immunity or activist lawyers or Cultural Marxism in order to distract us from the latest clusterfuck orchestrated by this government. No human being could be that callous. Shame on you Mr. Lee for seeking to discredit our Tory masters.

Beans Meanz Drugz said...

It's true. See the American TV series about drug dealing in Baltimore - "The Wire (Basket)".

Anonymous said...

Up here we saw him a bit on regional TV programmes and he comes across very much as a "bear of little brain". Off the record, I have heard the same from regional journalists. His reasons for quitting UKIP were never really clarified; in truth like a small clutch of local kippers, they saw an opening in a Conservative party low on activist numbers and looking for more younger, working class candidates for public office in council chambers and ultimately in the Commons

Steve Woods said...

Mark Jenkinson is all mouth and no trousers.

I too challenged him on Twitter to tell me how many vouchers/food parcels could be exchanged for a) a rock of crack cocaine and b) a £10 bag of weed.

He still hasn't responded.

I wonder why.

Burlington Bertie from Bow said...

Jenkinson 'has made a claim he may have trouble standing up. Looking at that Cyril Smith-like picture, I think he may well be right, Tim.

AndyC said...

A liberal: Someone who doesnt really mind who gets a benefit, to ensure no child goes hungry.

A member of the present tory govt: A person who would prevent anybody getting a benefit, to ensure not a single person they thought undeserving would get one.

Nick S said...

I refuse to believe that an ex-Kipper would lie. Hang your heads in shame for your scepticism, all you lefty scum.

The toffee (597) said...

jenkinson's wikipedia page says he's only 38!

He must've had a shit paper round up there in Workington.

grim northerner said...

Being a hard right ghoul accelerates the ageing process, corbyn is actually 400 years old.

Moresby is red said...

Richard Page was Conservative MP for Workington 1076-79. Just saying. Like Jenkinson he probably liked jam.
Just saying.