Teaboy SCHOOLED By Real Journalists

The perpetually thirsty Paul Staines has never tired of telling anyone not yet asleep that those who constitute his rabble are not merely journalists, but “fine journalists”. Sadly for The Great Guido, real journalists have had something to say about that. And that something has put the Fawkes rabble well and truly in its place.

What time is it Eccles?

For Staines, the moment of truth came yesterday afternoon after Paul Brand of ITV told “One for all us journalists to note - Welsh Assembly becomes Welsh Parliament from Wednesday”. His replacement teaboy Tom Harwood, who pretends to be a “Journalist and commentator”, and not a posh gobshite, honestly, wasn’t having that.

“I absolutely refuse to note this”. Having teed himself up, it was not long before Ross McCafferty became the first to wield the No 3 Wood: “Journalists, he said”. Ouch! And Geoffrey Healey was next to take a swipe. “He's not even a journalist”. Double ouch!

Would anyone like to trowel it on a little more? One Tweeter took “You're not a journalist” and raised Harwood his petulant stupidity at not being able to understand “Barriers to platforms will be closed two minutes before departure” displayed all around London’s Euston terminus. James West followed that. “He didn’t mean you. He was aiming at journalists”. Was this getting through? Doubt it. But there was more.

Like yet another Tweeter telling him “He said journalists. He wasn't talking to you”. Matt Carr helpfully provided a little more detail: “Alt-right propagandists are not journalists”. Another Tweeter confirmed “You're not a journalist hun”. And LePlanRex shot back “He said 'journalists', mate, not precocious teenagers who just have sleepovers with them”. That’s going to hurt, whatever the meaning. Cruel. Cruel but fair.

Meanwhile, one Welsh politician had noticed Harwood’s intervention. Jeremy Miles, who represents Neath in the Senedd, agreed with all those real journalists. "You can stand down mate, [Paul Brand]’s tweet was aimed at journalists”. To which Jon Antoniazzi added “Hello 999, I’d like to report a murder”. Out came the mic drop and burn memes.

One appreciative Tweeter responded to Miles with “I haven't liked a tweet from a Labour person since 2008”. And Jackson Hammond posted a GIF of an emergency ambulance with the tag “Here to treat that burn”. As Sir Sean really did say, I think he got the point.

Teaboy Tom is not a journalist. Other journalists say so. And so does the lamentable standard of his so-called journalism. He’s just an upmarket mouth artist.

Maybe The Great Guido has at last been rumbled as a total sham. Here’s hoping.

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