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Monday 25 May 2020

The Polecat Speaks - Badly

Having busted the lockdown rules that he was instrumental in devising, chief Downing Street polecat Dominic Cummings has decided to keep right on and break a few more. He refuses to be shackled or defined by mere rules. These are for losers, and he is a winner. So it was that he first shredded the unwritten rule, that advisors who become the story must depart the scene. Then came the SpAds’ code of conduct.
Special advisers must not take public part in political controversy, through any form of statement whether in speeches or letters to the press, or in books, social media, articles or leaflets”. This rule was also for losers; he would take the controversy over his lockdown breaches by the horns and hold his own press conference. In the style of a visiting head of state, he would hold that conference in the Downing Street Rose Garden.
In addition to his recent conduct, there was the matter of a Police complaint logged yesterday about his travel within Durham, in contravention of the lockdown rules. Added to that is request from Alastair Campbell to cabinet secretary Mark Sedwill to clarify “1. Why is [Press Conference] being held there [Downing Street]? 2. Assurance no civil servants involved in support of the event. 3. Any staging and other costs not borne by taxpayer. 4. Investigation of clear breach of special adviser rules on political controversy”.
Polecat Dom was, in accordance with the lack of rules that apply to Himself, fashionably late. More than half an hour late. Lewis Goodall of BBC Newsnight mused “I’d really like to get on with my picnic now”, while LBC host James O’Brien was merely irritated. Very irritated. "This is insane. The lateness is deeply offensive”. And probably deliberate.
The statement was clearly prepared, with David Allen Green concluding “This has been lawyered”. Jon Worth spotted a problem for Dom. “Vomiting statement contradicts what Wakefield has written”. It wasn’t going well, Peter Jukes noting “Oh my god. He's blaming the media for distracting and social media attacks for his behaviour”.
Sympathy? Ross McCafferty was unimpressed. “This is Cummings' big gamble and he seems to be holding a 2 of spades and an expired rail card”. Chris Atkins was aghast. “‘Nobody in London could possibly help us with childcare’ … YOU RUN THE FUCKING COUNTRY … He went to a 2nd home because someone said a nasty thing in the paper”.
He didn’t stop on the way to Durham? Jane Martinson was sceptical. "Minor point but i defy anyone to drive that far with a child in the car and not stop somewhere”. Meanwhile, Paul Waugh of the HuffPost had heard enough. “There we go. Cummings confirms he broke lockdown rules, repeatedly. First at Barnard Castle, then in some woods. He surely has to resign or be sacked over this. He's admitted breaching lockdown. Repeatedly”.
And Owen Jones noticed something else: “Dominic Cummings has so far provided yet another break of lockdown rules - that he went to see his wife who had come down with coronavirus and then returned to work!” Dom blamed the Rotten Meeja again. Waugh noted “No apology from Cummings. Quite extraordinary given what he has just admitted to”. Ian Fraser was there too. “Cummings not apologising or showing any contrition. That's where it's all falling down for him. He insists he has ‘behaved reasonably’”.
Yes, he went to Barnard Castle, after that had been denied. It then got worse, as Jim Pickard of the FT noted: “so unless I’ve misunderstood this the child ended up briefly in a Durham hospital where - if he had had COVID - he could have spread it to patients and staff there?” And Covid-19 may have affected his eyesight. “I’m worried my eyesight is impaired so I’m off for a drive. What can go wrong?” wondered Brian Cathcart.
Then came questions. Jon Worth noted “[Gary Gibbon] again … asking why Johnson had not been concerned about where he had been ... Cummings has no answer. Johnson knew for weeks and weeks”. Peter Jukes added “Boris Johnson knew Mr and Mrs Cummings were deceiving the public for six weeks. See the Mail article that says they went into lockdown in London. The whole of Number 10 would have known the 'Thought for the Day' on BBC Radio 4 hid the truth”. It wasn’t going very well.
Jukes also noted “Cummings admits to telling Johnson about his trip back in April”. Adam Boulton had heard enough. “By his own account Cummings broke the rules (for whatever reason). 2 Other officials involved in lockdown policy did similar and resigned”. But Dom did not even consider resigning. Well, not yet, anyway.

Chris Atkins mused “‘The doctor said I was no longer a threat to public safety’ I think we need a 2nd opinion on that”. James Doleman had coined a new term: “Catastrofuck ™”.
Today it was the Mail that broke ranks with the right-wing press and dumped on Bozo and Dom. Tomorrow, there may be more doing exactly the same thing. Cummings, the master manipulator, was revealed to be a sham, unable to do any more than blame someone else for his own repeated abuse of his own rules. This is not going to end well.

Not unless you are representing the Labour Party, of course. Roll on the next polls.
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Simon Dixon said...

The Barnard Castle eye testing part is just laughable. How can he keep a straight face? First, testing your fitness for driving with impaired eyesight actually on the public road is reckless. Second, driving 36 miles and back is overkill. Third if you drive from Durham to London you will be on fast dual carriageways and motorways almost all of the way. Pottering across to Barnard Castle you are on the A68, which is not dual carriageway there. So how is that an effective comparison?

Derek said...

Dear Zelo ,
Obviously now having admitted the offence of breaking the Law , perhaps the whole charade can be shown to be an appeal for mitigation by Cummings acting as his own lawyer and chosing a prestigious location for that defence . He must be having a laugh knowing the game is up , but musing how a public schoolboy could go on national TV and brazenly broadcast his disobeying the law . Maybe he hopes to provoke plod to prosecute and then be ‘fined’ as sufficient punishment ?

Honest Guv said...

The eyesight test excuse is so like a shoplifter saying that they took the item out of the shop to check the colour under natural light.

AndyC said...

Tim wrote, 'This is not going to end well.'

I think and hope it IS going to end well.
-Cummings out of Downing Street (at least for a year or two).
-Johnson humiliated and shown to be the weak cowardly busted flush we all know he is.

Anonymous said...

Just heard Brendan O'Neill on BBC Ulster batting for Dim Dom. How horrible the media had been to the poor wee mite. I nearly barfed up my dinner. He is in the public eye Mr O'NEILL. If he flies with the flock he deserves to be shot at. Sympathy my arse.

grim northerner said...

Trumpland here we come...

Anonymous said...

The weasel also said HE STOPPED for petrol on the return journey. But couldn't remember where.

If true, somewhere there's a petrol station with priceless CCTV footage.....

Jonathan said...

Who gave Polecat permission to be in the Downing Street Rose garden?

Dom playing the role of his hero Cardinal Richelieu and using Machiavelli's The Prince as a handbook on how to treat the public.

Don't be surprised if Dom finds himself as Machiavelli did in jail and out of favour when he lost favour with the Medicis.

Times change, Starmer is going to have a field day once PMQs resume in June, no doubt Bozza will excuse himself once more.

Rosie said...

The sense of powerlessness I feel against their dissembling; the debasement in our polity, a feeling of being defiled, of poison seeping from the pores of the political elite. Their exceptionalism! Their apparent greater entitlement to freedoms and a distressing abuse of power. They are altering online Government website advice after the event to tie in with their behaviours as I write. That is straight out of Orwell's 1984.

Arnold said...

His wife's Spectator article said they remained in London,and the truh only emerged after he was spotted in Durham. Why lie if he thought his trip up north was reasonable.

grim northerner said...

Funny how the 'desperate dad' who was scrambling around for the sake of his kid saunters around the seat of power like he owns the place. He is an arachnid presence in the heart of government. I note also that some of the accounts he passes his poison to on twitter in turn retreat to far right accounts, one such account is @didiertweets, an account run by an obnoxious prick called didier delmer.

Anonymous said...

He broke NO laws none! So let them without sin cast the first stone. This media frenzy is plain ludicrous. As is anyone using this has an excuse to behave badly themselves. And when people who should be above all this nonsense join in, what sort of society have we become?

Be sure YOUR sin will find you out!

The toffee (597) said...

Wouldn't his credit card/ bank statement show where he stopped?

Did he not get a receipt (That he'd charge on expenses)?

Oh, no - this'll be one of those rare (See 'non-existent') occasions where he paid cash...Despite telling everyone else to pay by card (where possible).

Mega-foreheaded freak must think we all fell to earth with the last rain shower...

Unknown said...

1. Does his wife not drive?
2. Possibly the most important man in government but could not get help in London? Really?
3. Did not stop at all going to Durham? Would he get there on one full tank of fuel?
4. (From Harry Haslam on Twitter) "His sister is director of Idox the company given contract for track and trace app she lives in Durham. Glaxo Smithklein the company sharing the contract to develop a covid19 vaccine are in Barnard Castle. Are these facts relevant to his story."

grim northerner said...

We are all sinners, but we Are not all lawbreaking hypocrites.

grim northerner said...

Seems half of the population did.

Rosie said...

He altered his blog for 2019 on April 14th 2020 this year to talk about Pandemics and planning, and to develop his back story. A Wayback blog tracker machine exposed the lie. His wife's Spectator piece mentions Durham not at all. Not because he did not want media at his father's farm as he claimed, because the Spectator piece appeared after he recovered and was back in London. The reason Guido Fawkes and thicko Tory shrills areassembling en masse, rent-a-gob to any broadcaster with a hole to fill, is that they know Cummings is now perceived as running the country. Which he is. Unelected. Not a good look. Shrills are trying to bring down Starmer as they do not know what else to do, but after donkrey santuary-gate, they find too hard. No. The longer Cummings stays the weaker Johnson Government becomes.

Anonymous said...

Nobody breaking "lockdown" (up to recently meaning confining prisoners in their cells - what an awful authoritarian word, no wonder so-called liberals are loving this!) is breaking any law. Anymore than I would be standing only 1.99 metres from the person in front of me in Sainsbury's.

We are sinners and therefore we are all hypocrites. I stink therefore I am!

The polecat is a rare and charming animal and it doesn't deserve the reputation given on here, you ought to hear what the local polecat community call you!

Anonymous said...


Yeah. It's like being just a little bit pregnant.

Or something.

Anonymous said...

Mr Shrill here! Of course we are after Sir Keir Starmer KCB QC, look at his record as the DPP, he ought to be locked up!

grim northerner said...

Hypocrisy isn't a sin.