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Monday 30 September 2019

Virgin Trains PWNS Fawkes Teaboy

Travelling by train. Some find it difficult to talk about. Others find it difficult to do. And in both categories today is Tom Harwood, replacement teaboy to the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his rabble at the Guido Fawkes blog, who has decided that he does not have to take any notice of warnings posted all around London’s Euston station telling passengers that gates to platforms will be closed two minutes before departure.
Behold the face of arrogant stupidity

In the Allegedly Good Old Days of BR, it was one minute, but with newer trains, with their automatic doors, having to be closed up before the Right Away is given, the rule was changed to two minutes. Harwood turned up less than two minutes before his train to Manchester departed. The gate had been closed. His pleading fell on deaf ears. He was, it seems, a lousy pleader. So he had a very public mardy strop.
Outrageous that [Virgin Trains] closed the gates two minutes before departure. Very shoddy. I will not be booking with them again” he blubbered. So Virgin Trains responded to him. “Hey Tom, we do have to close the barriers to trains at Euston two minutes before departure and this is advertised around the station too”. So did he now understand?
You jest: for a Fawkes goon, reality really is a state of mind. VT reiterated the policy - not confined to this operator, please note - but that only set Harwood off. “Shit excuse lads. Your advertised departure time is simply not true in any meaningful sense of the word [Yes it is - it’s the time the train departs]. This is like advertising the price of a fare and only after your customer has agreed to pay saying ‘oh no actually technically this doesn’t include our boarding fee.’” No it isn’t. He loused up. But someone else did it and ran away.
And he still wasn’t happy, so decided to invent something else not to like. “Incredibly poor customer service for a smirking guard to stand by an open train door not letting people on. Pretty shameful stuff”. Bullshit. The Train Manager (note correct title) would have been making sure he was OK to close up, prior to the Right Away being given.
But Harwood knew better. So back he came. “Why do passengers need to know when they’re departing? Surely the only thing they need to know is when to board and when they arrive”. VT tried to let him down gently. "You couldn't operate a railway without letting people know when they're departing, Tom”. OUCH!
Having been Pwned by the VT Twitter feed, he decided to show the world how much he doesn’t know about rail travel. “The wonderful thing about privatisation is next time I can choose to not book with Virgin. Back when the state did this to people (far more often and severely) they had nowhere to turn”. Far more often my arse - he’s just lying. And book with someone else? Thought that one through, have you, Tom?
You can go from London to Manchester with other operators, but you’ll have to change trains and it will take you a lot longer. And don’t think that the First/Trenitalia operation that will replace VT will do anything differently. Or any other inter-city operator.

As Ross McCafferty put it, “Tom Harwood is possibly the only person tragic enough to get roasted by the Virgin Trains Twitter account”. If he keeps on throwing a mardy strop every time he fouls up, he’ll run out of train operators to kick off about. What a complete clown.
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Anonymous said...

I wouldn't have just "smirked" and "stood by".

I would have laughed in his ugly kipper and told him to go fuck himself and then given him a hard kick up the arse. That's one of the ways "free markets work".

Arnold said...

But Harwood knew better. So back he came. “Why do passengers need to know when they’re departing?

So you can arrive at the station in time to catch the train. Train travel 101

Anonymous said...

As I often said to fellow travellers in my commuting days: "it's not the railway's fault you can't be bothered to turn up on time."

Bob said...

According to the Virgin website there are generally five trains from Euston to Manchester every hour. He was just early for the next one.

James said...

Wow. Guy's like a middle class version of Viz's Spoilt Bastard which has grown up and become a neoliberal.

Rivo said...

He must really struggle with air travel then...

rob said...

How would he know what happened under BR management?

Was he even born then? Hope wasn’t relying on Guido’s tales!

rob said...

Meanwhile the old tea boy is not exactly following the Guido Tory messaging service as in the past?

He's reporting Another £100,000 has gone to the ownwers of Bristol Port for Brexit readiness although they had reported readinss beforehand. And as Senor Wickham reports "Of course, the owners of Bristol port — Terence Mordaunt and David Ord — are also long-standing Conservative Party donors"

They are getting a big return from the taxpayer on their investment in the Tory Party?

Largesse indeed!