New Slogan Fails To Eradicate Virus

The briefing by someone rather adjacent to chief Downing Street polecat Dominic Cummings - whatever the denials from Robert Jenrick on The Andy Marr Show™ this morning - that generated Thursday morning’s slew of front page headlines heralding the ending of the lockdown showed that the Government of alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson is a total shambles when it comes to communications.

So it should have surprised no-one when the slogan which began “Stay at home” - pretty explicit - was known to be on the way out. Now we know it is to be replaced by a new slogan which commands us to “STAY ALERT … CONTROL THE VIRUS … SAVE LIVES”. Will remaining alert control the virus? Do we no longer have to stay at home? How about meeting up with friends? Picnics? Kick-abouts? Take a few beers for after?

The comment was severely adverse, and rightly so. Faisal Islam highlighted the obvious problem with the change in colour: “From Red to Green … The yellow and red was very specifically chosen to connote warning, hazard, emergency around the ‘stay home’ message ... Red & Green have v different meaning in safety regs”.

He at least tried to be kind. Others had seen enough. James Felton snapped “Stay alert? Are we supposed to sense it creeping up on us and karate chop the fucking virus now?” Jon Stone of the Independent mused “Can only assume this is some kind of desperate riff on ‘take back control’”. And the Observer’s Carole Cadwalladr concluded “This isn’t a strategy. It’s a communications disaster”. At the hands of Polecat Dom and pals.

LBC host James O’Brien was unimpressed. “They do slogans, lies & xenophobia. That’s it. They have nothing else. It’s been clear since the lie on the bus & the bollocks about Turkey & the German car industry. They have nothing else. I hope against hope that this doesn’t become even more obvious in the coming weeks”. He was not alone.

Greater Manchester Mayor Andy Burnham, who had already suggested it was a mistake to drop the clear “Stay at home” message right now, saw the reasoning behind the new slogan and was not happy. "The Government are dropping #StayAtHome because Downing Street thinks it has been ‘too effective’. Work that one out if you can”.

Then Jenrick - looking for all the world as if he has replaced Matt Hancock as Bozo and Dom’s chosen fall guy - turned up on the Marr Show with his clear-as-mud explainer, as Paul Brand of ITV observed. “[Robert Jenrick] says new ‘Stay Alert’ message means ‘Stay alert by staying home as much as possible, but stay alert when you do go out by maintaining social distancing, washing your hands, respecting others at work.’ Clear?”

Last Friday, more than 600 more deaths with Covid-19 were announced. The lockdown has been fraying ever since that slew of front pages last Thursday. And today’s front page news? As Liz Gerard has put it, “today's most important story? The PM has a new slogan. A new slogan. Just think about that. The most important story of the day for the best-selling paper is a new slogan”. If we just stay alert, we’ll, er, control the virus.

Except we won’t. Be very afraid, people. Your Government hasn’t got a Scooby Doo.

Enjoy your visit to Zelo Street? You can help this truly independent blog carry on talking truth to power, while retaining its sense of humour, by adding to its Just Giving page at

https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/zelostreet6