Priti Patel - Pretty Ghastly Show

While the Government has put forward a variety of spokespeople for their daily press conferences, one senior minister had been conspicuous by her absence: there had been no sign of Priti Patel, who is supposed to be Home Secretary. But yesterday afternoon, not only was Ms Patel put up to answer questions, she also demonstrated all too clearly why keeping her out of the way was the right decision.

Ms Patel was defensive, devoid of empathy, and apparently incapable of reading a figure from a document in front of her without making a complete Horlicks of the whole exercise. As to the ever-present question of Personal Protective Equipment, as Joe Pajak observed, “Home Secretary unable to give a specific date, when asked repeatedly to clarify target date by when all frontline NHS staff will have all necessary PPE”.

Emma Kennedy was unimpressed. "Said it before and I’ll say it again. The PPE scandal is on a par with sending soldiers to battle with water pistols. It’s not good enough. This govt have sat on their hands on this, having known it was coming for months. Inexcusable.” Things couldn’t get any worse, then. Or, rather, they could. And they did.

Sky News’ Twitter feed told “Home Sec Priti Patel is pushed on whether she'll apologise for a lack of protective equipment for healthcare workers - she says the government is doing everything in its ‘power’”. And what did she actually say? “I'm sorry if people feel like there have been failings”. So she’s not really sorry at all. “I'm sorry if” mused Peter Oborne.

Isabel Hardman was also unimpressed. “Yikes. Pressed on whether the govt should apologise for PPE shortages, Patel says: ‘Well, I’m *sorry* if people feel that there have been failings.’ Not quite the tone to strike, surely, regardless of the reality that this is a huge challenge”. That’s the assistant editor of the Spectator saying that.

Dawn Foster was less subtle in her response. “Absolutely outstanding ‘I’m sorry if you chose to take offence’ non-apology on a matter of life and death. Remind us who exactly is 'playing politics’, here?” And then came the Patel howler that not only made her look bad, but whose coverage made our free and fearless press look worse.

After one Tweeter observed “Priti Patel just claimed that there have been ‘Three hundred thousand and thirty four, nine hundred and seventy four thousand tests carried out across the UK’”, The Prole Star mused “Priti Patel announces the government 'testin' has covered at least the entire population of the planet … Humans AND animals”.

To which John O’Connell of Far Right Watch added “Priti 'Smug Face' Patel comes out of a weeks hiding and delivers this gem: ’There have been 300, 034, 974, 000 tests carried out’ … #Tories - NEVER AGAIN mention the name of Diane Abbott in connection with a Maths Fail. Ever … Ever”. And not a peep from LBC Gammon Emeritus Nick Ferrari.

Priti Patel, on her performance yesterday, would be out of her depth in a political paddling pool. Yet she has been trusted with overseeing one of the three great offices of state.

Worst of all, the press is doing Sweet Jack about her ineptitude. That’s not good enough.

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