Donny And Percy - End Of The Affair

Former Screws and Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan has in the recent past made great play of his access to Combover Crybaby Donald Trump. He got the exclusive interviews, the tour of Air Force One, he was pals with the 45th President of the United States. But, as any good self-promotion artist, he also had his own brand to burnish, his ego to massage. And it was Himself Personally Now that prevailed over fealty to The Donald.

And what's more, Ron

So it was that, as Trump espoused yet more wacko ideas, and sank deeper into the mire of his own making over the Coronavirus pandemic, Morgan became more critical of him. And then the unimaginable happened: after the headline “President Trump’s batshit crazy Coronavirus ‘cure’ theories are not just shockingly senseless and stupid - they’re going to kill people”, Percy’s great pal Donny cut him loose.

Donald, where's yer hairspray?

A stunned Morgan took out his king size onion and announced tearfully “President [Donald Trump]has unfollowed me on Twitter, hours after I wrote this [Mail Online] column”. LBC host James O’Brien empathised deeply: “Congratulations. Now get your gloves off”. Matt Frei of Channel 4 threw in a biblical reference: “Conversion on the road to Domestos”.

Then came the inevitable articles designed to cash in on The Great Unfollowing, with Mail Online leading off: “Trump UNFOLLOWS Piers on Twitter: after presenter's Mail column called him 'batsh*t crazy’ … Piers, 55, criticised US President after comments in White House press briefing … Trump suggested tackling coronavirus with UV light and injecting disinfectant … Piers denounced him in MailOnline column and said he's since been unfollowed … He wrote: 'UPDATE: President [Trump] has unfollowed me on Twitter’”.

No shock, no horror. Not to be outdone, the Murdoch Sun told readers “Piers had ripped into the president for the ‘incredibly dangerous’ suggestion [on UV light and disinfectant]” before excusing Rupe’s pal Trump: “the US leader later tried to defend his comments, saying they had been ‘sarcastic’. The news follows Trump's press secretary Kayleigh McEnany insisting that his suggestion was taken out of context”. Yeah, right.

But then came the ultimate put-down from Match of the Day lead presenter Gary Lineker, who appeared to commiserate with Morgan, but, er, no he didn’t: “I know it’s probably too soon. I know you thought he was a friend. I know your heart is breaking. I know how hurt you feel now. I know hard this is for you, but I know you will get through it. I know you won’t want to hear this: but you know you’ll be a better man without him”. OUCH!

Out came the Brokeback Mountain memes. But then a problem entered: not that folks have a problem taking Morgan’s word for anything, you understand, but some Tweeters decided to check out Trump’s follow list to see if the Good Morning Britain co-host was telling the truth. Had he unfollowed Morgan? Owen Williams concluded “He really hasn’t”.

And Travis Roberts, responding to Gary Lineker, concurred: “Only problem is it isn’t true. I screenshot this from Trump’s account literally 3 minutes ago”. So it was just another of those crude and easily rumbled self-promotion exercises. That didn’t work.

Has the Donny and Percy affair really ended? Who knows, and, indeed, who cares?

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