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Tuesday 28 April 2020

Boris Is The New Mao Zedong

We laughed so much at the North Korean newsreader, the Chinese ambassador trying his best to explain away the personality cult of President Xi, the recreation by Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin of the worst behaviour of the old Soviet Union, and the memory of countless tinpot dictators of the past. We in the UK would never entertain a cult of personality, not here in a Parliamentary democracy. Or would we?
Sadly, some of us would, those who are fully invested in The Adoration Of The Boris: our alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson is being projected by those in his own party as a modern-day Mao Zedong, even down to the use of the same imagery. Bozo The Clown is now The Great Helmsman of Britain.
That’s the problem with CCHQ handing down soundbites: they are easily searchable when they have appeared on social media platforms. Even when Bozo was in St Thomas’ Hospital, there was Baroness Nicholson with “[Boris Johnson] we need you back at the helm as soon as possible. Your country needs you!” New Tory MP Shaun Bailey added “Get well soon [Boris Johnson]. We really need you back at the helm, at 100%”.
The Great Helmsman, back at the helm. And yesterday came the true cultists. First the ordinary party members: Mark Vipond “It's fantastic to have Boris back at the helm”, and Ross Sykes “Welcome back [Boris Johnson] Its fantastic to see you back at the helm of this great country”. Then North Tyneside Conservatives: “Welcome back Prime Minister [Boris Johnson] it’s great to have you back at the helm”. Soundbite deployed!
MSP Edward Mountain urged a Bozo recovery: “My thoughts and prayers with [Boris Johnson] You are in the best hands and we look forward to having you back at the helm”. By yesterday, Darren Millar, Tory member of the Senedd, added “Chuffed to see [Boris Johnson] back at the helm today; Godspeed, Mr Prime Minister”.
Y’think he was back at the helm? Now it was time for the MPs to welcome Bozo back, and to put in some serious grovelling. Like Bob Seely, who represents the Isle of Wight. “Great to see [Boris Johnson] back at the helm”. Likewise Andrew Griffiths (Arundel and South Downs) with “Great to see our Prime Minister and my friend [Boris Johnson] healthy and back at the helm this morning”. And then came the real puke inducing moment.
Rob Halfon (Harlow), normally sane and sensible, posted a GIF of a lion and added “Good to see [Boris Johnson] back at the helm!” So remember folks, tens of thousands may have died, including scores of care workers, the NHS hasn’t had all the personal protective equipment the Government claimed it had, the UK locked down far too late, and the Tories haven’t got a plan for what comes next, but we have a personality cult.
All projected via a servile and compliant media class more interested in impressing their pals than informing the public. Yes, North Korea is such a hoot, isn’t it? That kind of thing couldn’t happen here, could it? We don’t do those personality cult things here!

Except it not only could happen, it did happen. Behold the new Mao Zedong.
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tedbangor said...

It's almost as if there wasn't a Panarama programme on last night showing how badly the Government messed up - you know counting each glove and sheet of paper towel as "item of PPE - judging by the papers this morning.

Still, at least Johnson is.... something.

Arnold said...

No point in having a helmsman when you're up Shit Creek without a paddle.

C Fever said...

Apparent proof of the apparent success of the apparent PM, apparently.

Anonymous said...

"Helmsman" (we get Cyber from the Greek Kyber)is a favoured term of Johnson to describe himself. In his article on "Global Warming" in the Telegraph dated 10:56PM GMT 20 Dec 2015 he quotes a well-known Climate denier "And Piers (Corbyn) did his best to calm me down. “Helmsman!” he said (since that is how he addresses me)."
The URL is https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/weather/12060976/I-cant-stand-this/ but when I check this, I find the page has been pulled in the last year!
In the same denier vein, Boris displays his ability for science knowledge, "The present ambient warm weather is somehow caused by humanity; and that fear – as far as I understand the science – is equally without foundation."

Anonymous said...

Whoops sorry!
My previous entry said I couldn't find the Johnson Telegraph article. I now have at https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/weather/12060976/I-cant-stand-this-December-heat-but-it-has-nothing-to-do-with-global-warming.html. It is worth reading and is worthy of Trump.
My bad!

Damien Whiter said...

That's not just a lion, that's Aslan, CS Lewis's Jesus stand-in just after he's been resurrected. It's sickening.

DBC said...

As David Baddiel has tweeted: "OK it seems like an absurd analogy but don't forget that lion will have about 27 children by about five different females."

Anonymous said...

If that stupid Bullingdon bastard is at the helm no wonder we're on the rocks.