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Friday 14 April 2017

Kelvin McFilth Divorce Giveaway

[Update at end of post]

Once again, disgraced and deeply unpleasant former Sun editor Kelvin McFilth has been baiting those who live in and around the City of Liverpool. In the latest instalment of his piss-poor Sun column - for which he is rumoured to receive a bung of £300,000 a year - Kel has taken aim at Everton player Ross Barkley, who was recently involved in an altercation in a local nightclub. The abuse is down to the usual standard.
I have always judged Ross Barkley as one of our dimmest footballers … I get a similar feeling when seeing a gorilla at the zoo … The reality is that at £60,000 a week and being both thick and single, he is an attractive catch in the Liverpool area, where the only men with similar pay packets are drug dealers and therefore not at nightclubs, as they are often guests of Her Majesty”. Laugh? I thought I’d never start.

But this is a mere diversionary tactic: those wanting to know what is really troubling the unrepentant thug need to look at the headline item in his column. Here, readers are regaled by the headline “Why should randy Mandy get £900m from hard Work of her ex-hubby Randy?” Which means what, pray? “Randy Work created a personal fortune of £180million before his wife, Mandy, ended the marriage by having a relationship with her personal physio”. So what is Kel’s interest in this, then?

IN his two decades of working for a private equity outfit, Randy Work created a personal fortune of £180million … The not-of-this-world Master of the Rolls, Sir Terence Etherton [said] there was ‘nothing special’ about his financial contribution to the 18-year marriage and ordered he split the money 50-50 rather than the more sensible 70-30”.

How does Kel know what a “more sensible” divorce settlement is? “Randy loses the kids and the money. Was that ever priced in? Plus Mandy led a gilded life she and we could only dream of. She risked no capital, did no work and yet walked away with £90million. Pure genius”. This might just look like the ranting of an intellectually deficient has-been - which it is - but it is also a dead giveaway that something is amiss chez MacKenzie.
The latest PopBitch mailout tells what: “Kel is facing an expensive divorce. Remember a couple of years back we reported that he was having an affair with a secretary from the Sun, and was all set to shack up with her until getting cold feet at the last minute? His wife has finally decided to give him the boot and is set to take him to the cleaners”.

PopBitch also claims that Rebekah Brooks wants to dispense with Kel’s crap column, and is only being prevented from doing so by editor Tony Gallagher - another as unpleasant as Kel - and Rupert Murdoch. If the old man shuffles off and son James takes over, Kel is as good as finished. So he’s getting his snarks at Scousers in while he can.

In the meantime, Kel has already been divorced on the grounds of adultery once, so that will have cost him. If he makes it two of a kind, and loses his Sun column and that office on the 13th floor of the Baby Shard bunker on top of that, he’ll be well and truly finished.

So here’s hoping. It couldn’t happen to a more deserving excuse for a human being.

[UPDATE 1940 hours: after complaints about Kel's column, including pointing out that Ross Barkley has a Nigerian grandfather and that this suggests the smear of him is racist, the Murdoch goons have at last taken action against their former editor.

As the excellent Liverpool Echo has told, "Kelvin MacKenzie has been suspended from The S*n after he expressed 'wrong' and 'unfunny' views about the people of Liverpool, owners News UK said".

They ought to sack the SOB while they're at it. Just rejoice at that news]


J said...

You can tell how steamed up he is about his pending divorce due to the fact it his article (diatribe) misquotes and says 900M and not 90M (half of 180M)...

Poor sod, couldn't happen to a... oh who am I kidding. He deserves to be taken to the cleaners, left without his house, and destitute with no job. Oh how much fun it would be to walk past him and say: "get a job you feckless scrounger".

Shawlrat said...

How glad I am that his wife is divorcing him - when I saw them together, let's just say he likes the sound of his own voice and his women subservient. I hope she takes him for every penny.
As for the Ross Barkley piece - any excuse to have a dig at Scousers. It's very tedious.

Unknown said...

TWO divorces? That means that TWO women must have agreed to marry him in times gone by. Difficult to believe, no?

Unknown said...

Why on earth does the Sun pay him so much? He needs them a hell of a lot more than they need him. Plus he must be still costing them quite a bit in lost sales in the Liverpool area.

iMatt said...

Remember how remain voters were told they were ''condescending'' and ''sneering'' towards leavers? And yet we have the Brexit supporting Sun doing just this and more to an entire city!

A.Robot (Mrs) said...

To keep his mouth shut?

Anon said...

Good point.
Just like with all past employees and associates.
Still, its not just them who have to keep their traps shut, it's the people they tell and so on...
Then the only problem remaining is those in the listening agencies.
Good luck paying them off!

Anonymous said...

Anybody would think the currant bun has retained Cunty McCuntface long beyond his usefulness.
Why would they retain this liability form yesteryear.

Perhaps the former editor knows a lot of the incriminating business going back decades,
and is being paid for what he doesn't write, rather than what he does.

The future will show whether there's a quick kiss and make up, or whether he's cast adrift ina dinghy without a paddle.

Anonymous said...

Quite why a paper that claims to be sorry to the people of Liverpool would choose to publish this is beyond me. Leaving aside the racial element of the piece it is clearly inflammatory towards Liverpool.

Somebody (presumably not Lord Kel himself) made the decision to publish this. I hope your hearts will join mine in bleeding for him if/when he's hung out to dry.

A.Robot (Mrs) said...

Just an attempt to appear to be a little bit 'fit and proper' before the Ofcom enquiry re Sky?

Arnold said...

Reported to the police too. :)

Anonymous said...

I think its disgusting how any woman can walk away with such an amount.
I could take this opportunity to laugh but fairness is fairness in my book.