Climate Protest - Bacon Lady NICKED

[Update at end of post]

Last week saw the Extinction Rebellion protests spread across London, along with the faux disgust of affronted rich media types who would rather continue living as they wish without having to be reminded that doing so would put the planet in serious danger. The next generation has, let us not drive this one around the houses for too long, reminded the rest of us that it’s not a game, it’s happening, and we have to do something about it.

The sight of all those peaceable protesters, though, was all too much for the nascent Yellow Vest movement, who prefer their protest to be a little more shouty and confrontational. So they rocked up in London and decided to go after the Extinction Rebellion people, without realising they might fall foul of the law in doing so.

And that is where one especially sad soul enters the scene. Going by the name of Based Amy (or the Bacon Lady), she has been a fixture of far-right protests for some time now. Her modus operandi is straightforward: get involved in the nearest melée, wait for one of the opposition to come into contact with her, collapse in agony in a style which would make Jürgen Klinsmann blush, and then scream that the Rotten Lefties™ done it.

Sadly, being Based Amy does not require a significant degree of intellectual capacity. So she convinced no-one when, after attending the House of Commons and being asked to stop filming, she did the screaming act when ejected from the building.

More recently, she went one better - or worse, depending on your point of view - by deciding to travel to Paris and participate in protests there. Sadly, her two male colleagues failed to appreciate that the French law enforcement authorities take no crap from anyone trying the In-Your-Face tactic, and were both nicked. One of them had her passport. I did say that there was a shortage of intellectual capacity.

So to yesterday’s London confrontation, with Based Amy in the thick of it once more, and once more of her own volition. A Police Officer told her “I’ve got lots of reports of you interfering and getting in peoples’ faces and being quite irritating”  (no surprise there, then) and said firmly “I’m asking you now … if you do not leave this area, we’ll have you arrested”. This Plain English statement did not, to no surprise at all, sink in.

Nor did the coda “This is your last and final warning”. Instead, she decided to argue the toss. “You’re going to threaten me with arrest, when these people have been lying in the road all day. Are you serious?” The officer confirmed that, yes, she was indeed serious. Then came the Based Amy trademark. “Do not touch me. Do not touch me. Listen to what you’re saying. Is that a crime? Is that a crime?” She was about to find out.

But first there was the Common Law sideshow. “Is that a crime under Common Law, Constable? Talking to people … you are irritating me, Constable … d’you think you’re special? [She ought to try this with the Guardia Civil in Spain. She’d only do it once] Do not touch me. Do not touch me. You are a disgrace. This is going to go all over the world”.

And then it happened. “You’re under arrest”. Yay the Met! Cue screams!! “Oh my God, get off me! Constable, you are in deep shit [wrong] … I’m being kidnapped! I’m being kidnapped! Somebody get help! I’m being kidnapped! This is illegal [no it wasn’t]!”

She wasn’t finished. “I’m a free citizen [apparently not] and they’re kidnapping me! This is absolutely illegal [wrong again]”. And there she was, nicked, to the great relief of all those who had wished it had happened rather earlier.

And there she went, only to no doubt rock up at the next opportunity to make a pain in the neck of herself. But if you encounter Based Amy at any protest, leave her to the cops. And spend the time, instead, watching her going through the same sideshow all over again.

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[UPDATE 22 April 1015 hours: There was some concern that Based Amy had not been released by the Met following her being arrested and charged on Saturday.

This is because she has been remanded in custody ahead of a court hearing on Tuesday - the first working day following the Easter weekend.

The prospect of a significant, and even custodial, sentence therefore cannot be dismissed]