Karen Danczuk - I Told You So

Last April, Zelo Street told that Karen Danczuk, former wife of Rochdale’s now thankfully former MP, had split from her “Spanish toyboy”, who had posted a photo of his arrival back at Alicante-Elche Airport and then taken his account private - while Kazza was telling anyone who would listen that she was in Rochdale.

The fragrant and modest Kazza. Allegedly

Our free and fearless press did not take this hint. Nor did they notice when Kazza fetched up on RT’s News Thing at the end of March, in one of her increasingly rare sleb appearances, sans ring. Perhaps they were taken in by Kazza then defiantly sharing photos of the two together, not realising that there is such a thing as “banking” photos to use later. But now the Sun and Mail have at last woken up to reality.

The Murdoch goons at the Super Soaraway Currant Bun got in first, proclaiming “Karen Danczuk has split up from her toyboy fiancé just months before their wedding … The selfie lover is thought to have ended things with Spaniard David Escudero after a series of 'nasty' rows split the pair apart”. Like the one where he went back to Alicante - which the same Murdoch goons managed to miss. But there is more.

“A source said: ‘Karen was dumped at first. Talks have continued but she is torn between wanting to ignore him and win him back … He walked out after a particularly nasty row. She has kept his passport and is refusing to give it back. As he's Spanish the fact he can't get his passport back might be an issue for him.’” A Source? Who might that be? Has Spanker been earning a few bob extra shopping his ex to the Sun?

Besides, the passport claim very much depends on where he is right now. If he’s in Spain, he just toddles along to the relevant ministry and gets another. In any case, the Mail is also on the case, although they first suffered the embarrassment of running Kazza’s latest self-publicity stunt with the gushing headline “What winter blues? 'Selfie queen' Karen Danczuk soaks up the rays in a red bikini on the beach in Spain”.

The simpering tone continued: “Dressed in a red bikini printed with white hearts, the bride-to-be looked carefree as she strolled along the shore and lounged at the water's edge … Karen, who became engaged to her fiancé, a Spanish waiter named David, last July, appeared to be making the most of some alone time at the beach”. No-one seems to have asked if it was warm enough to go in the sea in early December - even in southern Spain.

Was this another series of “banked” photos? The press don’t do much of that fabled investigative journalism, do they? Still, the Mail tries to make up for the earlier howler with “It was to be the second time down the aisle for Karen, whose four-year marriage to the former Labour MP ended last year … MailOnline have contacted Karen's representatives for comment”. But they, like the Sun, have not told their readers one small fact.

And that is they they have been played by Kazza, who might not be the sharpest tool in the box, but knows how to con the tabloid press something rotten. Zelo Street sussed her out years ago, and was eight months ahead of the press pack with this story as a result.

Still, it’s another excuse to splash lots of cleavage pics, so that’s all right, then.

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