Dan Hodges Opposes Himself

And still the Labour leadership contest goes on, with the full array of pundits and pollsters trying desperately to discern voting intentions and trends, and still more passing often less than totally informed comment on the candidates, their supporters, and who they may or may not have been associating with, slagging off, urging to withdraw, and, the ultimate sadness, giving their second preference votes to.

Still lecturing about loyalty. Allegedly

In among this fog of battle shines the light, however dim, emanating from the Telegraph’s not at all celebrated blues artiste Whinging Dan Hodges, who veers between tentative support of one or other mainstream candidate - last week it was definitely Yvette Cooper, but now he’s hedged his bets and suggested Andy Burnham as an alternative - and the more regular howling denunciation of anyone supporting Jeremy Corbyn.

The title of his latest missive on the latter subject tells you all you needed to know: “Why are Labour Party members putting up with the Corbyn cultists' claptrap? Someone needs to tell the Trumpton revolutionaries that if they want to play politics, they’ll have to find their own party to play with”. So what was his problem? “Almost one in five of the recently registered had voted for other parties at the general election”.

Er, hello Dan, isn’t the whole point that Labour get those who haven’t voted for them before, or, more importantly, have deserted the party over the years, to get on board? Isn’t the idea of excluding anyone else just the kind of insular, failed thinking that the likes of you have been railing about? How exactly is Labour supposed to win a General Election without reaching out beyond its core vote? But do go on.

“What I genuinely can’t stomach is the Corbyn Camp’s intellectual perversity and pomposity”. Like pretending to be a Labour member, but at the same time slagging off the leadership and actively campaigning for a Tory (to whit Bozza)? That would be you, Dan. But there’s more: “For the past month, Corbyn’s acolytes have been branding anyone who opposes them a Tory”. Er, no, it’s not just Corbyn supporters. Try again.

“We’ve now reached the stage where the Corbyn cultists are effectively arguing that membership of the Labour party at any point over the past 30 years represents the ultimate act of treachery towards that party”. Dan, I see lots of Corbyn supporters in my timeline and haven’t seen that sentiment expressed once.

And then comes the real pearler: “Why are people who have dedicated their lives to Labour letting a bunch of three-quid-dog-on-a-rope-rent-a-Trots lecture them on their own party?” Whatever Hodges’ politics, by his own admission, the “three-quid-dog-on-a-rope” line applies to him. Yes, Dan, you said “I put in my details, paid my £3, and I was in”. You said those exact words last month, when you claimed to have rejoined Labour.

Dan Hodges, by his own admission, did not really rejoin Labour. Now he’s whining about those who, er, haven’t really rejoined Labour. Can you smell burning?