Miserable Git Hates Success

[Update at end of post]

The opening ceremony for the London Olympic Games was held last Friday. Today, as the obedient servants of the legendarily foul mouthed Paul Dacre are still banging on about it, it has to be concluded that the Vagina Monologue is not happy with what he saw that evening, so much so that he has sent the most miserable of Miserable Gits, Stephen Glover, over the top armed with the M-word.

Why shouldn't my f***ing hacks be miserable, c***?!?

And that M-word is Marxism. In his rant against what most Brits – and tens of millions of others around the world – found so original and enjoyable, Glover deploys the word, or mentions Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels, eleven times. Readers are left in no doubt that the ceremony was a Marxist one. All can be traced back to the Communist Manifesto. Did I mention Marxism?

The coming of the Industrial Revolution is held to be Marxist by Glover, who connects everything in the ceremony to the M-word in the same way that Glenn Beck at his most paranoid has everything he doesn’t approve of only one remove from Hitler. There should have been railways, Glover moans, having missed the rather obvious portrayal of Isambard Kingdom Brunel by Kenneth Branagh.

So what about the appearance of the Queen? This, declares Miserable Git, is also straightforwardly Marxist: Danny Boyle is showing by having Brenda apparently leaping from a helicopter, that he wants to get rid of her. And the arrival of immigrants aboard the Empire Windrush is held to be a “challenge to capitalism” which might interest those capitalists who benefited from their presence.

But Glover isn’t done with his misery: there should have been a reference to Empire. Yes, Stephen, so where do you think those immigrants came from, apart from a part of Empire? Why do you think their ship got that name? Oh, hang on, there was no God in the ceremony. That only goes to emphasise that this country progressed so much despite organised religion, not because of it.

Oh dear, he’s not finished: there should have been steamships. Christ on a bike, what the heck does he think the Empire Windrush was? But I get it, it was full of those who are not the Daily Mail’s Kind Of People. Glover makes no sense at all, demonstrating that this rant has been written to order for his clearly unhappy editor. And if it’s written to order, there must be some NHS bashing.

There certainly is: it provides, according to the Miserable Git, “free health care for the poor”. So 90% of the UK is “poor”, is it? Just what planet do Dacre and his overmonied hacks live on (I know, the same one where everyone sends their children to private schools)? Even the appearance of Rowan Atkinson is sneered at, because in Glover World there can never be humour, only more misery.

Some hacks just cannot get over themselves. No change there, then.

[UPDATE 9 August 1645 hours: for the second issue on the trot (geddit?!?) Private Eye has featured an item previously covered on Zelo Street. As can be seen, whoever has done the item for the latest Street Of Shame has been mugging up on their Communist Manifesto.

But at the end, the Eye piece signs off with the one about Glover suggesting Boyle wanted to get rid of the Queen by chucking her out of a helicopter, which of course I already pointed up. I'm still waiting for that free subscription, Master Strobes]