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Monday 31 August 2020

Matt Chorley Ha Ha Ha

If Young Dave was unable to impose his will on an electorate that had previously voted him into power with an overall majority, the chances of a Murdoch hack doing likewise would be not unadjacent to zero. But this thought was not allowed to enter earlier today when the obscenely overrated Matt Chorley did a poll during his latest Times Radio appearance to let the public choose the best Prime Minister we never had.

Please don't fire me, Mr Murdoch

He conducted the poll via an open Twitter feed - and you can’t fix an open Twitter poll, no way, no how - with voters given 16 names to choose from. In the first “quarter final” round, twelve of them - David Miliband, Alan Johnson, Denis Healey, Roy Jenkins, Barbara Castle, Michael Portillo, Tony Benn, Neil Kinnock, John Smith, Robin Cook, Mo Mowlam and Ed Miliband - were eliminated. So who was left?

The four names in the frame were Ken Clarke, Charles Kennedy, Paddy Ashdown, and Jeremy Corbyn. And this is when Chorley must have realised he was not in control of the situation, whatever he blustered into the microphone. While supporters of Charles Kennedy overhauled an early Ken Clarke lead, those backing Jeremy Corbyn ensured their man was more than eight and a half points clear of Paddy Ashdown.

Over 9,000 had voted in that “semi final”. More than 12,000 then voted in the final to see Jezza romp home by more than 15 points. The Tweeter known as The Prole Star was less than authentically sympathetic. “Matt Chorley's hiding in the Times Radio toilets now, crying. Hope you're all proud of yourselves … Note to Matt: Don't hold polls if you don't want results”. Why might Chorley have thought it would turn out differently?

Ah well. After the result was declared, and Chorley failed to congratulate the winner, he told his followers “I’ll just leave this here”, revealing the result of a YouGov poll which put Corbyn in last place among 17 potential PMs that never were. So, like Theresa May, he believed what YouGov told him. And, like Treeza, he got more than he bargained for.

The Prole Star returned to the fray, responding “Times readers selected by YouGov perform as required shocker! We'll just leave THIS here”. Readers of a Murdoch propaganda sheet are fed a constant diet of severely negative “information” about a party leader and as a result believe that he would have made a bad PM No Shock Horror.

All that Chorley could muster after that was “I'd like to thank everyone who enjoyed Times Radio World Cup of Best PMs We Never Had for what it was: a bit of Bank Holiday fun. But a special thank you to the Corbynistas who despite finally seeing their absolute boi win something have totally lost their shit. You're welcome”. He’s all heart.

It was left to the Tweeter known as Tom London to make the obvious point: “40% and then 32% of the electorate voted for Corbyn in 2017 and then 2019. Are we supporters not welcome as listeners to your new Murdoch-owned radio station? Are you as blind to the political needs and wishes of millions in the UK as the Times itself?

Murdoch hacks are used to the lower orders not being able to fire back. This Twitter malarkey must come as a terrible shock to them. I’ll just leave THAT one there.

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Arnold said...

Can't even organise a piss-up in a Twitter bot farm.

david walsh said...

Whilst holding no brief for Mr Chorley, I can have little faith in a Times Radio selectorate who earlier on dissed at least 7 - by my calculation - people who could have been credible PM's (even if you disagreed with some of their ideological standpoints) I mean come on - can you really put forward JC as superior to Robin Cook ?

Anonymous said...


Jeremy Corbyn doesn't need to be "superior" to Robin Cook. He need only hold to his life-long Socialist principles.

Just as he didn't need to support Bliar's red tory domestic policies. Which Cook did.

Brian said...

Either that or Chorely and his team knew fine well this would happen but by pretending to be annoyed they got a few days free online publicity for his radio show.

Jonathan said...

Unfortunately Robin wasn't on the list to be chosen, much missed and how we could do with someone of his immense intelligence and ethics.

Would have made a great Labour PM.

Malcolm Armsteen said...

Tim old boy, the mailwatch lot say you've jumped the shark. Those dolts will believe anything I tell them.

Bottom line is who gets worked up over an online poll? Or a pole online for that matter.

The Toffee (597) said...

Chorley some mistake??

(Do I win 'shit s*n pun headline of the week?)

Jonathan said...

Ironic thing is Chorley and other rightwing journos and shock jocks were calling Corbyn's & McDonnell's 2019 Manifesto, as unaffordable and pie in the sky.
Just 3 months later, due to the pandemic, the Tories start spaffing money around their friends like it's the end of days..
Not to mention the middle class giveaway off restaurant food which could have been better spent on helping out the most vulnerable particularly those on Universal Credit.

Anonymous said...

Cook's big mistake was disavowing an illegal war. Then going for the same kind of walk as David Kelly.