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Wednesday 26 August 2020

Tony Abbott - Bozo Hires Dickhead

As befits any story involving unelected foreigners, it was the Murdoch Sun, and its pretend political editor, the odious flannelled fool Master Harry Cole, that was handed the news that former Oz Prime Minister Tony Abbott, whose defeat as Liberal leader “was a result of poor opinion polling, policy U-turns and gaffes and mean-spirited politics”, has been appointed joint President of the Board of Trade. So what was the deal?

I'm the posh Pommie bastard's fall guy? Crikey!

Abbott has been “tasked with drumming up deals for Britain around the world … The Sun understands Boris Johnson has asked Mr Abbott to join as part of a drive to get a number of global ‘friends’ to bang the drum from Brexit Britain”. So perhaps we should consider his record of achievement, or in Abbott’s case, the lack of it.

Tony Abbott was born in the UK, but his family moved to Australia before his third birthday. To become Prime Minister of Australia, he must have been “solely an Australian citizen” and so would have renounced British nationality beforehand. That means he is not only unelected, but a foreigner. So why is Tone available right now?

Behold the extent of Bozo's trade expertise

Abbott had first been elected as an MP in 1994, but his popularity declined following his losing the Liberal leadership in 2015. Last year, he lost his supposedly safe seat, Warringah, to an Independent candidate. Then there is his climate change denialism.

This from Wikipedia: “In October 2017, Abbott spoke in London at the Global Warming Policy Foundation, a climate-skeptic lobby group, where he described climate change as ‘probably doing good; or at least, more good than harm.’ He argued that higher concentrations of carbon dioxide act as ‘plant food’ and ‘are actually greening the planet and helping to lift agricultural yields’ … On 15 December 2019, he claimed that the world was ‘in the grip of a climate cult’”. What a silly cult (GWPF are climate change deniers).

And what of his attitude to all those Scary Muslims™? “Former Prime Minister Tony Abbott defended people’s right to target Muslims and Islam, saying Islamophobia, unlike terrorism, has never killed anyone. Mr Abbott has also claimed Australia’s leadership sufferers from a ‘surrender mindset’ which somehow weakens its defence against terrorism”. But, in another of those U-Turns, he later renounced his comments.

As to his suitability as a trade expert (no, don’t laugh), Jonathan Portes of King’s College London had something to say about that: “Former Australian PM says No Deal would be fine because Australia's trade with the EU, with no trade deal, is 5% of Australian GDP. Comparable figure for UK is over 30%. Weapons-grade idiocy”.

And Mikey Smith of the Mirror was not as enthusiastic as Master Cole about Bozo’s new hire. “The man who infamously got so drunk at work he fell asleep in his office and missed five finance votes. And who, when he got sacked, reportedly danced shirtless in his office on an Italian marble table, which he broke … And who is so popular in his home country that people stop him in the street to call him a ‘dickhead’. That guy? Great hire”.

Welcome to Pommieland, Tony - you’re a bladdy dickhead! And a convenient scapegoat.

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AndyC said...

You have to acknowledge Johnson's problem. Even he is coming to realise there is nobody in the diminishing domestic pool of Brexit boosters who possesses the ability, aptitude, competence, experience, common sense or intelligence to even organise a piss-up in a brewery, never mind deal with any aspect of the clusterfuck the Brexiters have inflicted on us so he's been forced to cast him net wider. Unfortunately he's caught someone who is as equally lacking in all those attributes as are the home grown shower.

Jonathan said...

No doubt whose sticky fingers are all over Abbott's appointment, none other than the great Polecat,

Polecat wants weirdos and freaks to be part of the Civil Service, climate denial is up there..

Anonymous said...

Fella looks like Rigby ... goodnight Vienna perchance? .... another twat employed to show the world that we aren’t able to do it ourselves ...

Anonymous said...

you dare call Abbott a "foreigner"? whatever happened to diversity is our strength?

The Toffee (597) said...

Isn't he the bellend ate a raw onion with the skin on?

That's all I remember about the beaut.

Anonymous said...


You're lying again. Whatever happened to "And the benefit of these migrants to the UK is what exactly?" https://zelo-street.blogspot.com/2020/08/priti-patel-migrant-dead-cat-no-shock.html

Lorne Durr said...

How about Bernie Madoff as a HM Treasury advisor?