Raheem Kassam - Not Waving But Drowning

As the convocation of the irredeemably batshit otherwise known as Breitbart struggles to come to terms with the flight of advertisers from its hate speech spewing site, and discovers that being abusive to those who choose of their own free will not to advertise there doesn’t work, their London “editor” Raheem “call me Ray” Kassam has his own struggle - to maintain his profile so he can continue to promote Himself Personally Now.

Behold the dictionary definition of the word Wanker

Kassam, an appallingly immodest being with much to be modest about, recently tried to pick up the UKIP leadership, but sadly dropped it. He has tried to take credit for the closeness of his pal Nigel “Thirsty” Farage to Combover Crybaby Donald Trump, although the reality is that he wants The Donald to offer him a job. And, like Trump, he has been embarrassing himself on Twitter, precipitating all too audible hilarity.

First off was his need to reinvent his excuses for abandoning that UKIP leadership bid. Even his pals at the Guido Fawkes blog had been dismissive of his effort, concluding “In reality Raheem struggled for support outside teenage social media wackos”. His best effort was to snipe “Yeah polling top was really embarrassing for me. Send me your CV, I'd be intrigued to see all the temping in your dad's office you've done”. Whine, Sir?

Kassam didn’t “poll top”. He turned tail and ran away. Never mind, there was always his assessment of the Richmond Park by-election to promote. “KASSAM: Zac Goldsmith Lost Because He Shunned His Conservative Base, Nothing Else” was the headline. As if he is some kind of punditry “name” to go alongside Oborne, Moore, and even Bozza. But he isn’t. He’s nothing more than a self-promoting, delusional fool.

That job from the Trump team hasn’t materialised, has it? Never mind, there’s always a more respected media outlet to snigger about, as witness “Curiously the Independent is owned by a Russian oligarch. Why does that never get mentioned?” Try picking up a copy of Private Eye, meathead. The Lebedevs feature in every issue.

Try Lying, Ray. You’re at Breitbart, so should be good at that. Oh look, he has, in a snark at Political Scrapbook. “This blog is run by anti-white racist lecturer @sunny_hundal. He calls Breitbart a conspiracy site. No evidence behind the claim. TOTAL JOKE”. The post he is whinging about (HERE) concerns Breitbart’s questionable use of a central London property, and how much of a joke that is will be down to the taxation authorities, thanks.

Moreover, his characterisation of my good friend Sunny Hundal is not merely abusive, but defamatory: were he to be an “anti-white racist”, nothing from Zelo Street would ever have been published at Liberal Conspiracy, which rather a lot of it was. And interesting to see that there is no denial that Breitbart is a conspiracy site - which it undoubtedly is. Still, there’s always the fall-back of having another go at the Independent, eh?

“Yes. The Indy is right. Every migrant will go on to be a star comedian in a hit sitcom. So stop criticising mass migration!” he sneers, after Friday’s Daily Mail front page - migration whinging alongside news of the death of, er, a well known migrant - attracted ridicule. And don’t forget, Ray, that’s how your family fetched up in the UK.

Raheem Kassam. He so wants to be taken seriously. But no-one who really matters ever will. And that’s why the Walter Mitty of UKIP is, once again, not waving, but drowning.