Italy - Bozo Wasn’t, But Carrie Is

After two newspapers, and at least three eyewitnesses, claimed that alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson had been seen passing through Perugia Airport the other weekend, the Downing Street machine wasted no time in debunking the story. Bozo had not been there, it was someone else, and he’d been in the UK.

Moreover, he’d been in the UK with Carrie Symonds, still billed as his partner and fiancée, even though the wedding that was supposed to have happened in August, er, didn’t. Those red wall Tory MPs could breathe easily once more; Bozo had not been lording it over on what John Sweeney called the Russian mountain, at the Lebedev Palazzo Terranova.

But while he hadn’t been to Italy, Carrie has. As Hardeep Matharu of Byline Times put it, having seen the splash in Mail Online, “In the week Boris Johnson told Britons the UK was in for another six months of misery, his fiancée Carrie Symonds has been staying at the £600-a-night Grand Hotel Tremezzo at Lake Como in northern Italy with three girlfriends”.

Yes, while Bozo was telling the hoi polloi that they were in for another six months of misery, his partner was lording it with her pals in the Italian lakes. As the sub-heading put it, “As Britons are warned the UK faces months of misery by Boris Johnson, his fiancee enjoyed leisurely walks along the waterside promenade and made use of used the hotel’s £300-an-hour launch to go sightseeing”. Sister paper Metro put her on today’s front page.

How much of a piss-take is that? Mail Online thinks it’s a pretty serious one. Hence they have turned over every last detail. “During her luxury getaway the new mother was seen cutting a casual figure in a £325 blue checked cotton gingham dress by Ganni and black Superga trainers (those come in at around £70 a pair, thanks)”.

Como, taken from Brunate. Ms Symonds and her pals have been staying out of town

A sharp-eyed British holidaymaker had spotted Ms Symonds and her pals walking the promenade last Monday, and that sighting sent the Mail off in hot pursuit. The report makes sure we get the hint: “Although Italy was at the epicentre of Europe's first wave of coronavirus infections with most of the northern parts in lockdown, there are currently no travel restrictions from the country to the UK”. But where was Bozo?

“The last time Boris and Carrie were seen together was at Wilfred's Christening at Westminster Cathedral's Lady Chapel on September 12. On Sunday Boris attended [the] Battle of Britain service at Westminster Abbey without Carrie”. It’s that heavy a hint.

Seems like only yesterday ...

And while an increasing number of Brits can look forward to less money coming in, and even looming unemployment, some of them may remember “Carrie and her friends embarked on a two-hour speed-boat tour of the lake. The party made use of the hotel’s £300-an-hour launch to see the various castles, stately homes and waterside villages that have made this Alpine location one of the world’s most prestigious holiday destinations”.

Which will make those red wall Tory MPs, trying their best to sell restrictions and curfews to an increasingly irritable electorate, less than totally thankful.

You voted for a real man of the people? You were had for mugs. And never forget it.

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