The Murdoch goons at the Super Soaraway Currant Bun were getting a bit stuck for stories at the weekend, with readers tiring of all the EU bashing rubbish pumped out day after day - and then came manna from heaven, as footballer Wayne Rooney was arrested on suspicion of drink driving. For the icing on the cake, he was with a woman who was not his wife, and who had lots of publicly available photos for them to nick.
But that would never be enough for the inmates of the Baby Shard bunker. There had to be an “exclusive”. And so it came to pass that this morning’s Sun screams “Roo And The Party Girl … WAYNE THINKS IT’S ALL OVER … Coleen takes kids to Mum’s”. Readers are also told “Wayne Rooney fears his marriage is over as pregnant wife Coleen storms out of their £4m mansion - and takes the kids with her”.
We have to know how much the house is worth - otherwise, how can the Sun get judgmental later on? But do go on. “SHAMED Wayne Rooney has told friends he fears his marriage is over - after Coleen stormed out with their three sons”. No citation.
But there’s more: “Pregnant Coleen, 31, stormed out of the Rooney mansion on Saturday afternoon and arrived at Tony and Colette McLoughlin’s home an hour later in a white Range Rover with sons Kai, seven, Klay, four, and one-year-old Kit”. We knew that - you put a tail on her, remember? Hence Ms Rooney Tweeting “Please can photographers have respect and stop following me with my three children in the car.... it's dangerous and I've had enough”. Respect? From the Sun? Yes, well.
So what’s the source for this alleged “exclusive”? You’ll love this. “A source said: ‘She’s been spending time with her parents deciding what to do - but at this stage she feels it’s over’”. A source. In other words, made up rubbish. And what about him? “Wayne, 31, has also told friends he fears his nine-year marriage may be over. One said: ‘Wayne doesn’t know what to do with himself’”. An alleged friend. A conveniently anonymous one.
The article is so badly thrown together it contradicts itself. On the one hand, we read “Coleen’s parents are refusing to speak to former England captain Wayne”, but soon after, it’s “A source said: ‘When Coleen got home she stayed calm for the sake of the kids so she wasn’t really talking to him … But her mum was giving Wayne a lot of grief’”. How does Coleen’s mum give him grief if she isn’t talking to him?
And remember “she feels it’s over”? Yep, Coleen “is not thought to have made up her mind yet about her whether to end her marriage”. In any case, the Mirror has Coleen saying “I don’t know who to believe … I don’t know how all this ends”. They can’t both be right.
The Sun’s “exclusive” is nothing of the sort. It’s a load of hearsay and speculative drivel cobbled together with lots of tit shots posed by the woman Rooney was with when he was nicked. But there’s papers to sell, and sport and slebs together sell more of them.
Meanwhile, Everton fans will need no prompting … Don’t Buy The Sun.