A Desperate Retelling – 2

As last year’s Tory party conference came to a close, one well known blogger could not contain his enthusiasm at the apparently certain prospect of a Tory Government, and produced his own version of the “Ready For Change” strapline, which he amended to simply say “It’s In The Bag”. Who is this incarnation of Ron Hopeful? Step forward Paul Staines, who blogs under the alias of Guido Fawkes.

Staines, who although not part of the obedient Tory cheerleading part of the blogosphere wants to see Young Dave in Downing Street come next month, has been reduced to playing fantasy politics in the wake of Corporal Clegg’s runaway victory in the first Leaders’ Debate. He dislikes the idea of a hung parliament, but detests Pa Broon rather more. So he has persuaded himself that the Tories and Lib Dems are potential soulmates.

This assertion is, of course, total drivel: as I’ve just shown, any Lib Dem who knows his party’s history knows that getting into bed with the Tories means that they screw you over. The best that Cameron can hope for with Clegg is for a “case by case” support – or not, if the case in question does not appeal. The idea of Staines’ “Change Coalition” is arrant fantasy. But today he has produced more of the same.

The latest Staines wheeze is vote mapping. What that? Well, this shows how MPs of the various parties vote in the House of Commons, and the map produced supposedly shows the Lib Dems voting more and more with the Tories – except that the singularly clueless Staines has overlooked one inconvenient fact: they might be voting together because they’re both in opposition.

Moreover, the number of Lib Dem MPs has increased significantly since 1997, and Labour’s majority shrank in 2005, so Clegg and Co have more chance of successfully mobilising against the Government – if they vote with other opposition parties. But this does not detain Staines, and neither has it bothered Simon Rogers of the Guardian, who has called Staines’ piece a “good spot”. Rubbish. It’s yet more evidence that this supposedly leading blogger is as clueless as ever.