When the news broke, that Bozo’s 56th birthday was celebrated at 10 Downing Street by a gathering of as many as 30 people in the Cabinet Room, and that The Great Man had been surprised by then-fiancée Carrie Symonds, who had thoughtfully caused a birthday cake to be provided, one might have expected the denials to be reinvented as fact.
But even as Number 10 pushed the official line, that Bozo had been there, but only for 10 minutes, the first signs were not good: the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his rabble at the Guido Fawkes blog, Bozo cheerleaders one and all, fell silent. The Great Guido conspicuously failed to ride to the rescue of the man he had so shamelessly promoted.
Brand reminded his followers that the gathering occurred “despite rules forbidding social gatherings indoors”. Number 10 owned up, BUT. “A group of staff working in No 10 that day gathered briefly in the Cabinet Room after a meeting to wish the Prime Minister a happy birthday. He was there for less than ten minutes”. And then it got worse.
Paul Brand had found another attendee: “ITV News has learnt that Lulu Lytle - who was redecorating the Prime Minister's flat at the time - also came down to the party … It lasted for 20-30 mins we're told, Later that night ITV News understands family friends also celebrated upstairs in the PM's flat”. There were TWO illegal gatherings in one evening!
Then came the morning: every newspaper has featured the story, if only peripherally, on its front page. Even the Murdoch Sun, where former Fawkes alumnus and pretend journalist, the odious flannelled fool Master Harry Cole, has been made political editor, has admitted to readers who had probably already heard the news “New Partygate: PM’s Lockdown Bash For 30 … You can’t have your birthday cake … and eat it, Boris”.
Tom Peck of the Independent was in awe of Carrie’s part in the affair: “Carrie literally organised him an entirely illegal surprise(!) birthday party in the actual cabinet room. Must admit, Carrie being behind the plot to destroy her own husband is not the twist I expected … Carrie Symonds, doing the lord’s work from the inside all this time … What a finish … A child of The Independent as well, quite literally. What a proud, proud day”.
Over at the Mirror, even Pippa Crerar, who has known Bozo from his time as London’s very occasional Mayor, was taken aback at the scale of lockdown-busting: “When we first revealed Downing Street parties in November last year, one source told me there had been ‘many social gatherings’ in No 10 while the public faced restrictions. I’m not sure I quite realised how many they were meaning”. And there could be even worse to come.
Grahame Lucas has noted “Dominic Cummings says his most damaging revelations about Johnson are still to come”. The former chief Downing Street polecat has now given written evidence to Sue Gray ”so Boris Johnson does not have 'more chances to lie’”.
But Bozo won’t go of his own accord. His party will have to act. Hello Tory waverers.
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This can all be waved away with "Crown Estate, rules don't apply."
So even the Newspeak is beginning to crumble.
But you can bet your last Euro there'll be mugs out there who still believe the Bozo Circus.
It would be hilarious if it wasn't so tragic and representative of what this country now is.
You are a The Prime Minister. The plague is in town. What do you do?
Jacinda Ardern: Cancel your own wedding
Bloody Stupid Johnson: Have a fucking birthday party. With cake.
To hold one party, Mr Johnson, may be regarded as a misfortune; to hold two looks like carelessness. TV's Cathy Newman says the current count is seventeen…
when you're totally fucked and cornered and your back is again the wall, what do you do? dial 999, ask for crissinda and get an investigation started. An investigation into what exactly? Something what didn't need to be investigated the last time she looked. Yeah. Right. keep the bullshit spinning and it might just go away ...
Preempting the ultimate findings, I can tell you now that it wasn't a Colin, but a Connie the caterpillar cake and that no one on attendance had a slice.
OK, so Lulu Lytle had been in attendance in the No.10 Cabinet Room on 19th June, having been "called" from Johnson's flat at No.11, where she had allegedly been "working".
Giving Johnson the benefit of the doubt here(!) why would it be FIVE months later that he Whatsapped Lord Brownlow saying that parts of his flat were "a tip" and asking when approval might be given for work undertaken 5 months previously?
One theory: the painter and decorator was there - not as a tradesperson - but as a family friend...
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