The Great Guido in his natural habitat
This should surprise no-one: The Great Guido has been heavily invested in The Adoration of the Boris for years now, from before Bozo became Mayor of London and subsequently sowed the seeds for hobbling TfL’s finances, which the right-leaning part of our free and fearless press then blamed on Sadiq Khan. Staines should worry: the great Brexiteer who lives not in the UK, but an EU member state. Principles, what principles?
So it was that the Fawkes blog inflated Bozo’s faux reticence way beyond reality, proclaiming “Boris’s Emotional Apology For April 16 Parties”. Readers not yet asleep are told “An uncomfortable watch as Boris bows his head in shame today over Partygate. This is also the first time Boris has said he apologised to the Queen - previously it was only claimed that Downing Street had expressed remorse to Buckingham Palace”.
He's honestly so fucking sorry
This came hard on the heels of a post warning Tory rebels not to ditch Bozo, and telling “Poll Shows Rishi Wouldn’t Save The Tories”. The Chancellor of the Exchequer has, it is true, not been the most steadfast in his defence of his next-door neighbour. But all of this may not have been enough, and so came a little citation-free flag-waving.
“Coming Soon: CCHQ’s Red Wall Ribbon-Cutting … CCHQ’s Impending Campaign Boost” was the headline, the post telling “The Tories look set to imminently boost their red wall presence – and given recent polling, not a moment too soon. A party source tells Guido that their long-awaited Leeds campaign headquarters - first announced by Amanda Milling way back in September 2020 - is set to open in mere weeks”. No citation.
CCHQ opening at Leeds University? Er, WHAT?
And nor is there one anywhere else. No matter, The Great Guido has a second citation-free source: “Another source suggested given recent events the party will be keen for the moment to be noticed by the media. Guido looks forward to Dowden’s forthcoming ribbon-cutting”. And there is a photo of Oliver Dowden cutting a ribbon.
But, wait a moment, what’s that building in the background? That’s the Leeds University building on Woodhouse Lane. Which is not in the city centre, where one might expect the new CCHQ outpost to be. Have the Fawkes massive confused the Uni building with Leeds Town Hall, which really is in the city centre? Desperate times, desperate errors.
They’re still at it this morning, claiming that the Tories are going to try and shore up Bozo’s support by dispensing with most remaining Covid-19 related restrictions and lamenting “No. 10 will not only be angry with the so-called ‘pork pie plotters’ for their treachery, they also managed to knock what would have been the day’s biggest news off the front page”.
Treachery! Well, at least it isn’t infamy (insert Carry On Cleo joke which in itself was recycled from Muir and Norden). But this time the Fawkes rabble may be out of time.
The only pity is that if Bozo goes, the Fawkes blog won’t go with him. Another fine mess.
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