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Wednesday 19 January 2022

Guido Grovels To Save Bozo

As the rumours swirl around alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, and the no confidence letters mount up in Graham Brady’s in-tray, there is one corner of the media establishment that can be counted on to shill shamelessly for Bozo, and that is the corner occupied by the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his rabble at the Guido Fawkes blog. Yesterday they turned the shamelessness up to the max.

The Great Guido in his natural habitat

This should surprise no-one: The Great Guido has been heavily invested in The Adoration of the Boris for years now, from before Bozo became Mayor of London and subsequently sowed the seeds for hobbling TfL’s finances, which the right-leaning part of our free and fearless press then blamed on Sadiq Khan. Staines should worry: the great Brexiteer who lives not in the UK, but an EU member state. Principles, what principles?

So it was that the Fawkes blog inflated Bozo’s faux reticence way beyond reality, proclaiming “Boris’s Emotional Apology For April 16 Parties”. Readers not yet asleep are told “An uncomfortable watch as Boris bows his head in shame today over Partygate. This is also the first time Boris has said he apologised to the Queen - previously it was only claimed that Downing Street had expressed remorse to Buckingham Palace”.

He's honestly so fucking sorry

This came hard on the heels of a post warning Tory rebels not to ditch Bozo, and tellingPoll Shows Rishi Wouldn’t Save The Tories”. The Chancellor of the Exchequer has, it is true, not been the most steadfast in his defence of his next-door neighbour. But all of this may not have been enough, and so came a little citation-free flag-waving.

Coming Soon: CCHQ’s Red Wall Ribbon-Cutting … CCHQ’s Impending Campaign Boostwas the headline, the post telling “The Tories look set to imminently boost their red wall presence – and given recent polling, not a moment too soon. A party source tells Guido that their long-awaited Leeds campaign headquarters - first announced by Amanda Milling way back in September 2020 - is set to open in mere weeks”. No citation.

CCHQ opening at Leeds University? Er, WHAT?

And nor is there one anywhere else. No matter, The Great Guido has a second citation-free source: “Another source suggested given recent events the party will be keen for the moment to be noticed by the media. Guido looks forward to Dowden’s forthcoming ribbon-cutting”. And there is a photo of Oliver Dowden cutting a ribbon.

But, wait a moment, what’s that building in the background? That’s the Leeds University building on Woodhouse Lane. Which is not in the city centre, where one might expect the new CCHQ outpost to be. Have the Fawkes massive confused the Uni building with Leeds Town Hall, which really is in the city centre? Desperate times, desperate errors.

They’re still at it this morning, claiming that the Tories are going to try and shore up Bozo’s support by dispensing with most remaining Covid-19 related restrictions and lamenting “No. 10 will not only be angry with the so-called ‘pork pie plotters’ for their treachery, they also managed to knock what would have been the day’s biggest news off the front page”.

Treachery! Well, at least it isn’t infamy (insert Carry On Cleo joke which in itself was recycled from Muir and Norden). But this time the Fawkes rabble may be out of time.

The only pity is that if Bozo goes, the Fawkes blog won’t go with him. Another fine mess.

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The Grim Reaper. said...

I wouldn't worry about it. Once the Russian invasion of Ukraine leads to extreme sanctions against Russia from the West, causing Russia to disrupt the flow of gas into Europe via Nordstream and thereby culminating in all out war in Europe, the Chinese, knowing that the US are already engaged elsewhere, will then invade Taiwan which will then lead to war in the South Pacific. The whole sorry state of affairs will culminate in a world war which will start off with conventional weapons but, ultimately, the losing side, as a last resort and with nothing left to lose, will deploy nuclear weapons as a last desperate throw of the dice. The world will then be destroyed with any remaining humans being thrown back into the stone age.

More wine, wench, more wine!

Dogs of Wurrh said...

Proof that Operation K9P needs a piss artist.

Arnold said...

Partygate is a dead cat. What about the Government's handling of Brexit, Covid, etc?

Anonymous said...

There is a story in The Torygraph about how the lockdown models were wrong, this has now fuelled the lockdown sceptics.
Something doesn't seem right with this to me.
Further investigation needed?

Mr Larrington said...

In the midst of all the thirsty one’s blustering about how fab Bloody Stupid Johnson is, Christian Wakeford (Con, Bury South) has just defected to Labour. While Johnson drones onandonandonandon about how he’s personally vaccinated more people than the rest of the world put together and utterly fails to answer any question put to him. Ou sont les Paxmans d'antan?

Unknown said...

What about the Government's handling of Brexit, Covid, etc?
Arnold - it was shite.

Anonymous said...

Partygate tends to suggest that minister and senior civil servants don't seem to feel threatened by a deadly virus. Perhaps they know something we don't?