Such is the desperation of our free and fearless press that some of its outlets are prepared to give a platform to those who, like a soufflé that has been inflated well beyond the point of viability, need very little prodding to deflate them completely. One such is the Mail on Sunday’s alleged deputy political editor, the odious flannelled fool Master Harry Cole.
Claims to be a journalist. No, don't laugh
Cole, who made his name as tame gofer to the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines at the Guido Fawkes blog, has now been given his own opinion column, which may not increase sales of the MoS, but has already increased the mirth level of those who know that this pretend “journalist” has already been promoted way beyond his capabilities.
Around a photo of Master Cole in his serious “You nicked my beer?” pose, the column is headed “HARRY COLE … SPILLING SECRETS, PUNCTURING EGOS”. Moving right along from scenes of onlookers resembling extras in a Smash advert, it has to be said that this initial offering is, sadly and predictably, spilling no secrets and puncturing no egos.
But let us at least give the flannelled fool the benefit of the doubt. Master Cole’s lead item is “How Bad Boy Pact was torpedoed by Britain's FBI after security officials warned ministers to steer clear of Arron Banks”. Here, he pushes the idea that the reason for the Tories not wanting a pact with the Brexit Party is somehow related to the NCA’s investigation of Arron Banks, and his enormous donation (as it were).
The problem he has here is that Banksy and Leave EU are not the same thing as the Brexit Party. Indeed, the party’s chairman Richard Tice has been at pains to stress that he left Leave EU even before the 2016 referendum. Brexit Party Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage has distanced himself from Banks. Cole is not comparing like with like.
Thus the lame standard of reportage well-known to seasoned Cole watchers continues. He is, after all, the same Master Cole who called phone hacking all wrong back in 2009, to the extent of smearing Jackie Ashley, who clearly knew more about the subject - and Andy Coulson - than Cole, sniping “Jackie Ashley Talks Bollocks Shock”.
Why does Master Cole never appear on The Andy Marr Show™? Oh, I dunno. His ineptitude extended to his first Sun front page splash, “COURT JEZTER”, which claimed Jeremy Corbyn would have to be sworn to the Privy Council, or Labour would lose their allocation of “Short Money”. The story was totally untrue. And there was more.
A nation celebrates Master Cole's elevation
Cole’s first MoS splash was the claim that Shamima Begum was such an unrepentant jihadi - remember, she was trying to come back to the UK, losing yet another baby and being improperly stripped of her British citizenship at the time - that she had sewn suicide bombers into their explosive vests. There was only one problem with the article: no journalism was involved, which is par for the course with him.
Master Cole had been taking dictation from the spooks. That’s right: his first Mail on Sunday “exclusive” was as a conduit for the security service’s dirty tricks operatives.
Yet now he is being sold to unwary MoS readers as not only a real journalist, but someone who can “puncture egos”. When the only one being punctured is his. Pass the sick bucket.
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