Because it was later reported, and effectively confirmed by The Great Man yesterday, as he took out a king-sized onion and played the victim for one time too many, Nige banks at Coutts, where you are expected to maintain an account balance of at least one million Pounds. He was never skint. And there was always enough money in politics to maintain that account.
Like his equally unprincipled contemporary, disgraced former alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, he talks well, but lies badly. So what was his schtick? “I’ve been living with something for the last couple of months that may fundamentally affect my future career … and whether I can even stay living in this country”. Don’t get our hopes up, now.
But there was more. “I have been with the same banking group since 1980 … I’m with one of the subsidiaries of this big banking group, one with a very prestigious name [oh what a giveaway] … I got a phone call a couple of months ago to say ‘we are closing your accounts’. I asked why. No reason was given … I went to seven other banks and asked, can I have a personal and a business account, and the answer has been no”. Do go on.
“There was nothing irregular or unusual about what I do … why is this happening to me?” He then rambles on about EU definition of a Politically Exposed Person, one who may be open to bribery or other leverage by an external state actor. But we’re no longer in the EU. Not convincing.
Then he dumps on the banks themselves. “The banks … are part of the big corporate structures in this country. These are the organisations that did not want Brexit”. Everyone’s agin him, he’s a victim, woe is he. Then he comes up with someone else he can blame for his own misfortune.
“A few months ago, in the House of Commons, Sir Chris Bryant … said, using Parliamentary privilege, that I had received large sums of money directly from the Russian Government, and he named the calendar year in which it had happened. The truth is, I didn’t receive a penny from any source with even any link to Russia … I wrote to the Speaker. I demanded an apology … I wonder whether that is what’s given me part of the problem”.
So he doesn’t know, he’s just guessing, but why not start a pile-on out of spite? Bryant later noted “I have been called all sorts today. Some of it is highly actionable. A lot is nasty, vicious, spiteful and homophobic. So what? Well yes it’s water off a duck’s back and I never stop standing up for what I believe. But why do we allow politics to be such a sewer?”
No bank worth its credibility is going to shut down accounts on the say-so of Chris Bryant, or any other MP. This thought was not allowed to enter as Nige’s pals weighed in. “We call ourselves a democracy, but our banks are increasingly refusing to serve politicians with views they don’t like. What’s happened to [Nigel Farage] is NOT a one off” whined Isabel Oakeshott.
Sadly, she missed telling us who else had been treated so despicably. And, although LBC host Iain Dale and former Murdoch editor Andrew Neil joined those passing severely adverse comment on those who were agin poor Nige, Jim Pickard, deputy political editor of the FT, cautioned “I would want to know more about the state of his finances, the sources of his income, and the names of all the banks, before making any conclusion either way”.
Law lecturer Rob Palmer reminded Mr Thirsty “Nige, this (your bank accounts being closed) only usually happens if money laundering or illegal activity is suspected. They won't comment because it can impede a criminal investigation. Please, stop gaslighting”. Nige did not stop gaslighting.
As the presence known as Otto English observed, Farage went on Gammon Broadcasting™ News (“Bacon’s News Channel”) yesterday evening and, backed up by the caption “FARAGE CANCELLED BY BANK”, blubbered “For once, I’m pretty thoughtful … about whether it’s worth living in this country … so what I am going to do is to take some time off”. Tell us more.
“Take a week or two off, maybe more, to consider what my next steps are going to be. This is going on in our country [no shit, Sherlock]. It’s happening to plenty of people. I just happen to be one of them”. Has he parted company with GB News? What would cause such a rupture to occur? His show is the channel’s top rated programme. And one other thought has entered.
The perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his rabble at the Guido Fawkes blog, so often Farage cheerleaders, have not as yet even mentioned Mr Thirsty’s little local difficulty. Why might that be? Whatever the answer, we should wait for the facts to emerge, not merely a partial version from The Great Man.
Meanwhile, let’s see which country is prepared to have him. Bye bye Nige.
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