As Wanda might have said to Otto in A Fish Called Wanda, what would be the sensible way to get a recess agreed by the Commons for the Tory Party Conference? What would a sensible person have done? What would Nietzsche have done?
An absolute Muppet. And Elmo from Sesame Street
Well, whatever Nietzsche might have done, it would not have involved provoking, insulting, smearing and seriously offending those MPs whose consent was needed for alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson to win his first Commons vote. Having lost the previous six - as well as the small matter of the Supreme Court judgment - the sensible way to get a recess would have been to show some contrition and cut the abuse.
But for Bozo The Clown there can be no cutting out of abuse: as he conceded to the 1922 Committee earlier today, generously dispensing terms like “Surrender” and “Betrayal” is now alleged to be cutting through with voters. His core vote is responding to his dog-whistle, so he will carry on being abusive, and it’s just going to be Tough Titty and a shrug of the shoulders at the collateral damage if someone gets hurt - or worse.
Even so, and after all the bad behaviour from Team Bozo, there was, as the Guardian has reported, this offer: “Yesterday Labour whips offered the government a non-aggression pact, saying that as long as the Commons sat on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, they would be happy to debate non-contentious business (meaning there would be not need for a three-line whip, and most MPs would be able to go to Manchester)”.
There was, of course, the issue of the £30 million or so that the Tory Conference was worth to the economy of Manchester, and Labour did not want to be blamed for any loss of business. Sadly, “The government whips did not take up the offer, pushed for a recess instead, and lost the vote”. The Tory whips are just as skilled as Bozo. Like, they aren’t.
Bozo would now not speak to the adoring faithful next Wednesday; he would need to be at the Commons for what promises to be a less than good-tempered PMQs. He might not be the only representative of The Blue Team in London, according to that Guardian report.
“If the opposition do try to use next week to pass emergency legislation to firm up the Benn Act, then the government will want its MPs in London on a three-line whip. If that is the case, the Tory conference can still go ahead, but a lot of fringe events might look a bit empty”. They could turn up just to see Bozo lose another vote.
Or, perhaps, to see him show his contempt for the body he and all those other Brexiteers claimed was sovereign. As the BBC has reported, “Jacob Rees-Mogg says he ‘assumes [the PM] will be making his usual appearance’” at PMQs on Wednesday. But the Guardian floated an alternate scenario: “For him to boycott the Commons and send, say, Dominic Raab in his place as a PMQs stand-in would be grossly disrespectful to parliament - although, on those grounds, the idea might appeal to Dominic Cummings”.
And now Paul Waugh of the HuffPo has confirmed that Bozo sticking two fingers up at the sovereign body he championed until yesterday will continue: we now hear the PM will address his conference on Wednesday. Just to show a little more disrespect.
Keep pissing Parliament off, keep losing. It’s not hard to understand - except for Tories.
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