Zelo Street

Monday, 3 March 2025

So Farewell (For Good) Darren Grimes

Never before had fifteen minutes of fame (or infamy) been stretched so far beyond the limits of elasticity. Push was surely destined to give way to shove, and so it came to pass that the not really crafty Darren Grimes was “let go” by Gammon Broadcasting™ News (“Bacon’s News Channel”), to the great relief of all those who had hoped it might happen rather earlier.

So how is this being spun? “Darren Grimes has announced he is departing GB News in an emotional message to viewers. The Saturday Five host has been a staple of The People's Channel since January 2022 … Announcing his decision to step away, Darren said: ‘This is it my friends, this is my last Saturday Five show on GB News’”. Pow! Zap!! DULL!!!

Sadly, there was more. “It's been an absolute joy to see this show, The Saturday Five, go from strength to strength, especially as I helped launch it two years ago … I think it's unique in the British broadcasting market and I know it'll continue to be a great success with these amazing guys here each week”. You’ll have to imagine him taking out his king-sized onion.

And, sadly, yet more. “And it's a a really bittersweet moment because while I'm excited for what's next, I also want to take a moment to acknowledge what this platform and, more importantly, what you, our brilliant viewers, have meant to me personally”. Wasn’t he supposed to have been finished?

“Over the last few years, I've had the privilege of speaking directly to so many of you as saying the things that far too many in the media are far too afraid to actually say … I feel we've tackled the issues head on, we've laughed at the absurdities of modern Britain and we've stood firm”. And then it got worse.

“Darren shed a tear as he continued his announcement with the other members of The Saturday Five panel - Emma Trimble, Dr Renee Hoenderkamp, Alex Armstrong and Cai Wilshaw - comforting Darren and laying hands on his shoulders”. Who they? Who knows? And, indeed, who cares? Oh, and “I'm off to pursue personal projects, but the fight for free speech, for common sense and for truth, it goes on and it must”.

That would be the “fight for free speech, common sense and truth” that saw Dazza broadcast an interview with crusty old bigot David Starkey, in which The Great Historian talked about “damn blacks”, for which he “had several honorary doctorates and fellowships revoked, book contracts and memberships of learned societies cancelled, and his Medlicott Medal withdrawn”. Grimes could have edited it out. He failed to do so.

Grimes, it should not be forgotten, got off a charge of breaking electoral spending law by claiming that his mis-statements were unintentional - in other words, that he was incapable of filling in a form correctly. He has gone from pro-EU and pro-Lib Dem activist to rabid foreigner-baiting Brexiteer, but not just to score clicks and attention, plus get a berth at GB News, oh no.

His last role at the channel was fronting a show called The Saturday Five, a shameless copy of The Five on Fox News Channel (fair and balanced my arse). The latter is one of FNC’s biggest ratings successes; its GB News copy hardly registers in that department. Whether that has anything to do with Dazza getting his marching orders I will leave for others to decide.

So what “personal projects”, other than desperately hawking his CV to anyone he can find, will Grimes be pursuing? Who knows, and, again, who cares? He’s just another to be found surplus to requirements at the hugely loss-making broadcaster, after Desperate Dan Wootton, not very good actor and DOA tunesmith Laurence Fox, and poundshop padré Calvin Robinson.

The problem for all of those who have gone before Dazza is the discovery that GB News is, to all intents and purposes, the very lowest rung in the media ladder, and not a place from which mainstream outlets are wont to recruit. This time it may really be the end - so he may end up having to find himself a real job. Big Issue seller? Fruit picker? Tube carriage cleaner?

Whatever. There goes Darren Grimes, finally on his way … out.

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Saturday, 1 March 2025

Zelenskyy Encounters The Stupid Zone

And so it came to pass that, after Emmanuel Macron and Keir Starmer visited the White House and supposedly got Combover Crybaby Donald Trump in a more amenable frame of mind regarding the future of Ukraine, that country’s President Volodymyr Zelenskyy arrived in Washington DC to experience for himself the masterly negotiating skills of the orange man-baby.

Except that no such skills were on display, because this, like the rest of the myth surrounding Trump, is horseshit of the basest quality. The Donald is only a serious businessman for the purposes of The Apprentice; in real life, he is a serial failure in such matters, and in all likelihood could not negotiate his way out of a paper bag. Nor could his Vice-President, J D Vance.

Zelo Street described Vance as a moron, because he is a moron. This skill was on full view as the world’s media assembled to see just how much successful softening-up had been performed on Trump earlier in the week, only to discover that the answer to that one was None At All.

Worse, it was clear that the sole reason Zelenskyy had been invited to DC was to humiliate him in front of the assembled media representatives. The problem for Trump and Vance was that he declined to be humiliated, and instead remained in combative mood when confronted with the onslaught of weapons grade stupidity from two individuals more ridiculous than Laurel and Hardy, but without any of the talent, or, indeed, any of the laughs.

Vance decided to talk about diplomacy. Zelenskyy had news for him: “Putin broke the ceasefire. What kind of diplomacy, JD, are you speaking about?” JD, for his part, fired back as if playing the lamest PR for the University of Lame in Lame City in the state of Lame. “I think it's disrespectful to come into the Oval Office and try to litigate this in front of the American media”.

Kaitlin Collins of CNN noted “What just happened in the Oval Office was nothing short of remarkable. What began with questions about security guarantees for a ceasefire with Ukraine turned into an angry shouting match between Trump, Vance and Zelensky. Trump was fuming, ending with, ‘We have empowered you to be a tough guy…You either make a deal or we are out. You don’t have the cards.’” What deal would that have been?

Aaron Rupar had more from Trump: “Don't tell us what we're gonna feel. You're in no position to dictate that. You're in no position to dictate what we're gonna feel. We're gonna feel very good and very strong. You're right now not in a very good position. You're gambling with World War 3”.

Who was dictating to whom, though? Clearly, more sneering humiliation was needed to show the foreigner who was boss. And so it was that a deeply stupid questioner called Brian Glenn piped up “Why don’t you wear a suit?!? Do you own a suit?” Who is this Brian Glenn? As if you needed to ask.

Drew Harwell of the WaPo knew. “The reporter who asked Zelensky if he owned a suit, Brian Glenn, is from the pro-Trump network Real America’s Voice and Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene's boyfriend. He got one of the rare Oval Office interviewer spots after the White House blocked the Associated Press”. Mehdi Hasan added "What a joke this country has become. Far right Trump flatterers cosplaying as journalists in the Oval Office”.

It got worse: the Trump gang then asked the Ukraine delegation to leave the White House, a move which was briefed to Fox News Channel (fair and balanced my arse) as “kicked out”. At FNC, Bret Baier, formally one of their more sane pundits, suggested to Zelenskyy that he should apologise to Trump. But for what? A deliberate, crude and pointlessly stupid ambush?

Ron Filipkowski of Meidas Touch concluded “Trump and Vance needed to create an incident to provide a justification for their pre-planned abandonment of Ukraine now, then separation from NATO in the near future. That’s what that was all about, and that was always the way a second Trump term was going to go”. And the free world needs a new leader. Sharpish.

The USA is now in the hands of deeply stupid people. As in, more deeply stupid than any of their predecessors. Be afraid, people. Be very afraid.

Thursday, 27 February 2025

Dale Vince Bursts Fawkes Bubble

The previously accepted myth concerning the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines, for so long the presence behind the Guido Fawkes blog, was that his vehicle for attacking, smearing, selective and partisan politicking, and crawling his way into the media establishment was difficult-to-impossible to sue, because it was registered in an offshore jurisdiction. This has now been disproved.

We know this as a result of a legal action taken by green energy promoter and environmental campaigner Dale Vince, whom The Great Guido claimed had called Hamas “freedom fighters”, which he had not. Staines and his pals have now thrown in the towel following a preliminary hearing finding that what they published were statements of fact, and defamatory of Vince.

Press Gazette told “Guido Fawkes has settled a defamation case brought by Ecotricity founder Dale Vince after a preliminary ruling went against the political blog. Guido editor and owner Paul Staines said the decision to settle instead of continuing to fight the libel case at a full trial at the High Court was a ‘purely commercial’ one to avoid potentially ‘ruinous’ costs”.

It was purely because the Fawkes rabble lost, and yes, it would have been “ruinous” to continue - and to lose rather more. But do go on. “Guido had raised almost £100,000 from donors to fight the case, which related to two articles published in March 2024 about comments made by Vince on Times Radio about the 7 October 2023 terrorist attack by Hamas on Israel”.

So he’s only 10k short, according to Vince’s own estimate. What’s his problem? But there is more. “The first article included a 16-second clip of Vince’s comments, which he said ‘distorted the views that he had expressed across the whole’ interview, and asked: ‘If Labour thinks donor’s cash donations should be returned when they say extreme things, what do they make of Vince’s views?’” Ah yes, Fawkes and anti-Semitism.

That’s the game where the Fawkes massive jump down the throats of any Rotten Lefties™ against whom they can call “anti-Semitism”, while back in the day when Ed Miliband was Labour leader, indulging in bouts of virulent anti-Semitism. Which, the last time I looked, were still live chez Fawkes.

Worse for The Great Guido, “Staines had sought to defend the case on the grounds of honest opinion but Mr Justice Pepperall decided what he published amounted to statements of fact. He said the website created the impression that ‘the statements that Mr Vince described Hamas as, and thinks that Hamas are, freedom fighters are statements of fact’”.

And the inevitable conclusion, “The publication was also found to have been defamatory. The judge wrote: ‘Given the nature of Hamas and the appalling atrocity committed on 7 October 2023, the imputations about Mr Vince’s statements and beliefs were plainly defamatory at common law. Indeed, it is not argued otherwise.’” Vince also demolished another Staines claim.

Which was the idea that The Great Guido was somehow defending FREEZE PEACH. “People that support Palestinian rights are not terrorists and free speech is not the freedom to be dishonest”. Moreover, free speech does not immunise the speaker from the consequences of that speech. There was equally bad news for those among our free and fearless press.

Vince again: “Rinse and repeat - The Daily Mail broke a promise not to repeat a false allegation against me - so today in the high court they apologise again - and pay costs and damages - again. Their cash is on the way to Gaza again”. The thought enters that the Mail may have thought they could indulge in more of that “studs up litigation” and thus deter Vince.

Only this time they, and the Fawkes rabble, came up against someone with the means to take them on. The grubby end of the media establishment fought Dale Vince, and Dale Vince won. They were so determined to smear him as anti-Semitic that they veered across the defamation line. They so wanted the smears to be true, but they were not. Now they are undone.

The Great Guido is full of crap. But you knew that already.

Tuesday, 18 February 2025

Ukraine Extortion - Trump Fans Silent

There is no finer example of how populist politics is a total crock of crap than the reaction of its leading British practitioners to the brazen attempt by Combover Crybaby Donald Trump and his gang to extort a significant amount of Ukraine’s mineral resources, while giving that country no security guarantee. To this, the Trump fans in the UK have fallen silent.

As Josh Rogin told his followers on Twitter, X, or whatever Muskrat’s calling it this week, “Multiple lawmakers here in Munich told me the U.S. Congressional delegation presented Zelensky with a piece of paper they wanted him to sign which would grant the U.S. rights to 50% of Ukraine’s future mineral reserves. Zelensky politely declined to sign it”.

Do go on. “This plan, which I have now seen, was presented to Zelenskyy by U.S. Ambassador Bridget Brink several days ago, in advance of Secretary Bessent’s trip to Kyiv … In today’s meeting with U.S. lawmakers, Zelensky was telling them about this paper, which many of them didn’t already know about, not the other way around. Zelenskyy said he could not sign it because it didn’t contain any security guarantees for Ukraine”. That’s extortion.

Added to the outburst by alleged Vice President and confirmed moron J D Vance, and the talks about Ukraine that have not included invitations to any European countries - or Ukrainians - and we see the intended endgame of the Trump gang - to sell both Ukraine and the rest of Europe down the river.

Quite apart from the immediate loss of US soft power, and indeed influence, this dereliction of duty to its allies had the FT’s editorial writers concluding “Europeans need to start preparing fast for the day when the US security guarantee to Europe is definitively removed … It should also mean a European mutual defence pact, outside NATO, that extends beyond the EU”.

There was more. “Trump will use any leverage he has to force America’s European allies into compliance on issues from trade and security to their domestic politics. That means that Europe must now start the painful process of ‘de-risking’ its relationship with the US, looking for areas of dangerous dependence on America and stripping them out of the system”.

Which is a way of saying it’s serious. So what of the Trump cheerleaders? Former alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, who was, let us not forget, kicked out by his own party in disgrace, has tried a little too hard to spin his way out of it: “Trump is not betraying Ukraine”. Fraid he is, Bozo. But that bit doesn’t get a mention. Not in selective Bozo world.

But at least he admits Europe will have to “step up”. Something that does not trouble Liz Truss, the very temporary Prime Minister who was outlasted by a lettuce. She’s too busy recycling rubbish from the increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph. So what of Farage, biggest Trump fan of all?

Nige is banging on about putting a windfall tax on renewable energy, in a move which would increase household bills significantly. That’s the level of populist idiocy coming out of Reform UK. Oh, and he’s still whinging about nearly losing his Coutts bank account. No word on Trump’s attempt to extort a significant amount of Ukraine’s GDP in return for nothing at all.

Farage’s delusion extends to portraying Himself as the next Prime Minister. But not a peep on his pal Donald selling the whole of Europe down the river, so not a peep on what he would do when faced with a whole host of those Difficult Decisions about a European army that he’s been frightening the crap out of his target audience over. Not that he’s a Putin apologist, you understand.

Whatever your opinion of Keir Starmer, he is prepared to tackle the problems posed by the Trump gang ripping up the USA’s security guarantees that have helped keep the peace since 1945. Bozo is editing it out, Liz Truss isn’t talking about it at all, and Farage … don’t make me laugh. Mr Thirsty is more concerned about his current account status to bother with that.

Populism meets political reality. And promptly scuttles off elsewhere.

Saturday, 15 February 2025

J D Vance - You’re A Moron

Those who thought that the vice Presidency of J Danforth Quayle, the one who had problems spelling such complex words as POTATO (to which he insisted on adding a spurious E), defined the most stupid holder of that office, have now been asked by the current incumbent, J D Vance, to Hold His Beer. Because Vance is not merely stupid. He is a bona fide moron.

This should come as no surprise: he is, after all, Veep to Combover Crybaby Donald Trump, the individual (one hates to use the dignifying term “man” in this instance) least suited to be President since, well, the proclamation of the Republic back in 1783. Trump is monumentally stupid. So his deputy must, to preserve the dignities, be yet more stupid. Vance is ideally suited to that.

Just how stupid Vance really is was demonstrated yesterday in the full glare of publicity: he addressed the Munich Security Conference, to tell all those Goddamned YURPEENS just how wonderful Himself and his world view were. He lectured them about FREEZE PEACH and MOXY, as if the USA had both, and YURP had neither. This went down like a cup of cold sick.

Which may have had something to do with there being no curbs on freedom of speech anywhere in western Europe, while the Trump gang are excluding those who do not toe their particular line from press briefings, and accompanying The Donald on Air Force One. Trump and his supporters have significant past form for harassing media folk of inconvenient view.

Also, as the Guardian pointed out, “Many in the hall were swift to say that Vance had still refused to accept that Trump lost the US presidential election in 2020, a refusal that ultimately resulted in a mob of the president’s supporters attacking the US Capitol”. Trump’s acceptance of MOXY is the kind where he wins. Vance is too scared, or stupid, to accept reality.

And get this claim: “For years we have been told everything we fund and support is in the name of our shared democratic values, everything from our Ukraine policy to digital censorship is billed as a defence of democracy, but when we see European courts cancelling elections and senior officials threatening to cancel others we ought to ask ourselves if we are holding ourselves to an appropriately high standard”. Whoops, flat-out lie time!

As with Reform UK’s self-appointed Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage claiming that the EU interfered in member states’ elections, this is total crap. Vance’s stupidity extended to believing that his audience would not have a grasp of reality superior to that of Himself Personally Now.

It also extended to believing he would secure more approval by cracking this year’s Lamest Joke Ever™. The BBC’s Frank Gardner noted “He made a joke at one point saying, ‘if American democracy can survive 10 years of Greta Thunberg scolding, you guys can survive a few months of Elon Musk’. And then he paused for the applause, to be met with absolute dead silence”.

False equivalence. Paranoia. More stupidity. Meanwhile, in the USA, supposed land of FREEZE PEACH and MOXY, judges are under attack for upholding the law, when that law goes against one of Trump’s executive orders (an executive order is not law, and the President cannot make law without the agreement of Congress). Instead, Vance kicks YURP.

But YURP enjoys freedom of speech, and of expression, rather more than the USA right now, with media outlets self-censoring to keep on the right side of the Trump gang. Vance is too stupid to see that comparing western European Governments to totalitarian states, while his own country is ruled over by an enfeebled man-baby and an unelected Nazi, is not a good look.

Good of him, though, to remind YURP that it needs to look after itself rather more, and depend on the Trump régime rather less. Vance could do worse than letting us all know what his country’s position on Ukraine really is. Because, right now, we don’t know. Except that Trump gives the impression he is about to sell the Ukrainians down the river.

Then he can learn a bit more about YURP. And stop being a moron.

Thursday, 23 January 2025

It Was The Sun Wot Done It

And so it came to pass that News Group Newspapers, the official title for the UK chapter of the Murdoch Mafiosi, arrived at the High Court for what was expected to be an eight-week trial over allegations of unlawful behaviour brought by Prince Harry and former Labour deputy leader Tom Watson. And very soon after, NGN caved in and waved the white flag.

Rather than see the likes of the twinkle-toed yet domestically combative Rebekah Brooks, still NGN’s CEO, cross-examined over what the Murdoch press did to get their stories, and answer all those inconvenient questions about mass email deletion and other less than totally ethical practices, they admitted, for the first time, that the Sun was involved in breaking the law.

Yes, after shelling out more than a billion notes settling claims against the Sun, while denying that It Was The Sun Wot Done It, the Cosa Rupra grudgingly admitted what had been suspected for decades. Without that admission, Haz would not have settled, whatever the scale of the cash mountain on offer. Which was, it seems, in excess of £10 million.

In other words, had the trial gone ahead, even if Haz and Tom had won, they would have had to be awarded more than that sum in order to avoid being hit with the bill for both sides’ costs. It was the kind of risk that put paid to others’ determination to go to trial. This time, NGN will pay for everything, which may well cause the final bill to exceed £25 million. All to stop it going to trial.

As the Guardian told, “The Duke of Sussex has settled his high court legal action … against the publisher of the Sun, News Group Newspapers (NGN) … NGN offered ‘a full and unequivocal apology’ to Prince Harry ‘for the phone hacking, surveillance and misuse of private information by journalists and private investigators instructed by them’ at the News of the World”.

There was more. Haz’ barrister David Sherborne added “I am pleased to announce to the court that the parties have reached an agreement. As a result of the parties reaching an agreement I would ask formally that the trial is vacated … NGN offers a full and unequivocal apology to the Duke of Sussex for the serious intrusion by the Sun between 1996 and 2011 into his private life, including incidents of unlawful activities carried out by private investigators working for the Sun”. And who worked for the paper then?

Not only Ms Brooks, but also former Screws and Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan, something which should be borne in mind whenever The Great Man passes adverse comment on Haz and Megs, which happens rather a lot.

Sherborne, meanwhile, wasn’t finished. “The truth that has now been exposed is that NGN unlawfully engaged more than 100 private investigators over at least 16 years on more than 35,000 occasions. This happened as much at The Sun as it did at the News of the World, with the knowledge of all the editors and executives, going to the very top of the company”. Do go on.

“What’s even worse is that in the wake of the 2006 arrest of a royal correspondent, there was an extensive conspiracy to cover up what really had been going on and who knew about it. Senior executives deliberately obstructed justice by deleting over 30 million emails, destroying back-up tapes, and making false denials - all in the face of an ongoing police investigation. They then repeatedly lied under oath to cover their tracks - both in court and at the Leveson public inquiry”. You read that right. Carry on.

“Far from being relics of a distant past, many of those behind these unlawful practices remain firmly entrenched in senior positions today, both within News UK and other media outlets across the world, wielding editorial power and perpetuating the toxic culture in which they continue to thrive”.

Anyone might think he was referring to the currently under-fire Will Lewis. Here on Zelo Street, there is quiet satisfaction that the story first picked up on in July 2009 (see HERE, HERE and HERE) continues to - rightly - embarrass our free and fearless press - and not just the Murdoch chapter of it.

Any more to come? You might wish to ask that. I couldn’t possibly comment.

Tuesday, 21 January 2025

Elon Musk IS Dr Strangelove

The titular character in Stanley Kubrick’s dark comedy Dr Strangelove, Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb, is a senior advisor to the US President, who just happens to be a former Nazi who refers to his boss as “Mein Führer”, and whose right arm has to be restrained from giving Nazi salutes. Played by Peter Sellers, it was both dark and hilarious.

Because it was fiction. Otherwise, audiences might not have found the film’s ending, unavoidable nuclear armageddon, to be palatable. Fast forward more than 60 years, and yesterday came the moment when another senior advisor to a US President gave a Nazi salute in public, only for some who should have known better to pretend it was nothing of the sort.

Elon Musk, the unfeasibly rich and staggeringly unpleasant presence who has single-handedly turned Twitter of old into X, a cesspit of far-right intolerance, ignorance, paranoia, misinformation, flat-out lying, and malicious abuse, addressed a gathering in Washington, DC, after Combover Crybaby Donald Trump had been inaugurated as the 47th President of the USA.

As the BBC told, “Elon Musk has caused outrage over a one-armed gesture he gave during a speech celebrating the inauguration of Donald Trump. Musk thanked the crowd for ‘making it happen’, before placing his right hand over his heart and then thrusting the same arm out into air straight ahead of him. He then turned and repeated the action for those sitting behind him”.

There was more. “Many on X, the social medial platform he owns, have likened the gesture to a Nazi salute. In response, Musk posted on X: ‘Frankly, they need better dirty tricks. The 'everyone is Hitler' attack is sooo tired.’” So, O Great One, why the need to edit it out of the video clip posted later?

The Mirror has noted “Elon Musk's Twitter account edited a moment from his Donald Trump inauguration speech where he appeared to give a 'nazi salute.’ … To many it appeared Musk had performed a fascist salute … [but] by the time Musk posted video of his speech to his X/Twitter account, the moment had been replaced by a crowd shot”. And there was, again, more.

“Last week, Musk hosted an online interview with Alice Weidel, the leader of AfD, Germany's far-right party. During the exchange, Weidel made the repeatedly debunked claim that Hitler wasn't far-right, but a communist or socialist - to which Musk agreed”. Which manages not to explain why socialists and communists were one of the Nazis’ first targets. Also, “Musk has often praised AfD, saying: ‘only the AfD can save Germany.’”

Those who specialise in this kind of thing were in no doubt. “Claire Aubin, a historian who specializes in Nazism within the United States, said Musk's gesture was a ‘sieg heil', or Nazi salute … Ruth Ben-Ghiat, a history professor at New York University, said: ‘Historian of fascism here. It was a Nazi salute and a very belligerent one too.’” Cue the excuses.

It was “an awkward gesture in a moment of enthusiasm, not a Nazi salute” was the ADL’s offering. Others claimed that “Elon” - because they’re all on first name terms with The Great Man - had autism. The increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph called it an “odd-looking salute”. The people were urged not to believe their eyes and ears.

Grace Blakeley was unimpressed. “Elon Musk, Henry Ford … Two men who made billions making cars … Two men who preach about free markets but rely on huge government support … Two men who went to war with their unions … Two men who idolize the Nazis … These are the leaders of 'free market' capitalism.” And one of whom has a twitchy right arm.

Even Steve Bannon has denounced Musk as “racist” and “truly evil”, vowing to “take this guy down”. Waitman Beorn, who you can tell as he’s a doctor, was in no doubt what had happened. “Holocaust historian here. Let me see if I can help. That wasn't a ‘weird salute.’ It was a Hitler salute. Because Elon is a fucking Nazi … Hope that helps”. Musk showed us who he is.

Maybe we should believe him that one time. Worrying and disturbing.

Sunday, 19 January 2025

Isabel Oakeshott Muslim Hypocrisy

Only a week ago, Brexiteer supreme Isabel Oakeshott indulged in a slice of Muslim demonisation which was especially nasty, even by her own not especially high standards, while demonstrating a lack of journalistic nous which might surprise those not up to speed with the machinations of our free and fearless press, given she was once Sunday Times political editor.

Someone had posted a doctored video to Twitter, X, or whatever Muskrat’s calling it this week, claiming “In Wales, the Welsh Refugee Council is using 12-year-old girls in ads meant to entice migrant men to come to Wales. Most members of this council are from the Middle East, India and Pakistan”, before adding “I think I’m going to throw up”, just to tell those viewing what to think.

The video, to no surprise at all, had nothing to do with the Welsh Refugee Council, whatever its makeup, but was a school video project. It was produced in response to those arriving in the Principality from Ukraine, had been released two years ago, and then later withdrawn from circulation. A so-called “real investigative journalist” should have figured that out.

Instead, Ms Oakeshott just shovelled it on, adding the comment “This is INSANE. On so many levels”, Nudge nudge, wink wink, nod’s as good as a wink to a blind bat, eh? She left the Tweet up, even when the reality of the video, and its later selective editing, was pointed out. As a result, those involved in its original production faced a barrage of threats and abuse.

Then, as the London Economic has told, “Staff at a refugee charity in Wales say colleagues have had ‘their lives threatened’ after Elon Musk shared a social media video suggesting young girls are being used to ‘entice’ migrants to the UK. The Tesla billionaire shared a video posted by the Welsh Refugee Council (WRC) in 2023 which was shot by year seven students at Brynteg School, who wanted to welcome refugees escaping the war in Ukraine”.

There was more. “South Wales Police said it was looking into an allegation of malicious communications. Andrea Cleaver, the chief executive of WRC, said the video ‘was never intended as an advert to encourage migration and was shared to show the positivity of pupils’”. But Muslim bashing is OK, innit?

In the meantime, the Observer, soon to be given away by its current owners, has gleaned that Ms Oakeshott may be stirring up hatred against Muslims in the UK (knowingly or otherwise), but she has no problem living in a country where Islam is the recognised religion. Yes, she’s left the UK - several months ago, it seems - and has now rocked up in the Middle East.

As the Obs tells, “Richard Tice, deputy leader of Reform UK and its MP for Boston and Skegness, is splitting his time not just between his Lincolnshire constituency and the House of Commons, but is also spending time 3,500 miles away in the United Arab Emirates (UAE) … The Observer has established that some months ago his partner, the journalist Isabel Oakeshott, moved out to Dubai with her children”. Do go on.

“The couple are still very much ‘an item’, both insist, and are now seeing each other whenever time and Emirates airlines allow. ‘She has been based out there for a few months … I occasionally go there and she occasionally comes here,’ said Tice”. Cue excuses about how liberal Dubai is, honestly.

And there was yet more. “Oakeshott, who is working from Dubai as international editor at Talk TV and as a columnist for the Daily Telegraph, said that Labour’s ‘pernicious tax on private schools' prompted her to look elsewhere for the best places to educate her children. The UAE, she said, offered ‘endless opportunities’ and had a ‘booming economy’”.

Like upping sticks to Dubai costs less than VAT on school fees. Or maybe not. What Ms Oakeshott has demonstrated is that she’s fine with Muslims if it’s to her benefit, and for similar reasons, she’s fine with amplifying misinformation about them. Maybe other right-wingers will follow her to Dubai. Malaysian misinformation specialist Ian Miles Cheong is already there.

High principles can also be flexible principles. For the rich, that is.

Monday, 13 January 2025

Ivor Caplin - Hello BBC

You might not have heard of Ivor Caplin - at least, not until last weekend brought the news that he had been arrested after a vigilante sting. But the reporting of his being stung and subsequently arrested should ring alarm bells - not because some media outlets are reporting it, but because some are not, even those whose preferred political stripe is at odds with his.

Ivor Caplin

Caplin is 66 years old. He is also openly gay. Neither of these attributes is improper or illegal. What is potentially illegal is the idea of that person allegedly showing interest in sexual activity with someone under the age of consent. And that is what caused Caplin to be stung, by a vigilante group supposedly on the hunt for potential paedophiles. And it gets worse.

He had spent eight years as a Labour MP, representing Hove. Later, he spent a short time as chair of the Jewish Labour Movement, the organisation that expended considerable energy undermining Jeremy Corbyn’s leadership of the Labour Party. That he was part of the political establishment was shown by the number of senior party figures who followed his social media feed.

On which subject, it gets worse still: Caplin’s feed on Twitter, X, or whatever Muskrat’s calling it this week, featured a succession of images depicting young men, not merely in a state of undress, but also featuring displays of genitalia, sometimes in a state of obvious arousal. Yet, it seems, no-one at the top of the Labour Party had the time to say “Er, ma-a-a-a-ate”.

Also, to quote his Wikipedia entry, “In June 2024 Caplin was suspended from the Labour Party due to ‘serious allegations’ made about him. The allegations were not made public”. And then, “In January 2025 Caplin was arrested by Sussex Police on suspicion of engaging in online sexual communications with a child, after being involved in a sting operation carried out by a group of anti-paedophile activists”. Were the two events in any way related?

We are not told. But it is the latter event where reportage has been so selective. The increasingly alt-right Spectator magazine has informed its readers, but, it appears, the primary motive here is because the arrest came “days after attacking ‘unacceptable’ Elon”. First name terms, natch.

So the Speccy’s motivation is kicking anyone who criticises “Elon”. Apart from that chapter of the brown tongue brigade, not so many other mainstream media outlets have the news. The Mail has told “Ivor Caplin, 66, the former MP for Hove, was released on bail after spending the night in a police cell, with officers launching an investigation into the alleged incident”. Do go on.

“He was stopped by a group of activists on Saturday who claimed they had arranged to meet him posing as an 'underage boy’ … Mr Caplin denied the claims multiple times on video before the group called the police. Mr Rowland [leader of the group enacting the sting] claims his group handed their 'evidence' over to officers who arrested the former MP”.

But the rest of the mainstream press pack has said very little, despite Reform UK and its self-appointed Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage, and of course the Spectator’s hero “Elon” making sure they tell their followers. And one mainstream source that would have been expected to carry the news has said nothing at all as yet: step forward the BBC. Silence. Not even crickets.

Starmer speech, Sturgeon-Murrell separation, “Five-minute fines”, Meghan delaying her Netflix show, a fall in the value of Sterling, what Kemi Badenoch says should happen to Tulip Siddiq, calls for yet another “Grooming gang” inquiry, monitoring “Elon’s” social media whingeing, all feature. But nothing about a former Labour MP who just happens to be an establishment figure.

As Owen Jones has summed up, “The big questions about Ivor Caplin are who knew what, when, and what action did they take”. The Labour Party, and especially all those who followed Caplin on Twitter/X, knew about all those images he posted. So what action was taken? And what about a little of that investigative journalism from the BBC? Just a mention, eh?

Or is the establishment closing ranks? Bit of a sad hill to die on, mind.

Sunday, 12 January 2025

Banksy And Wiggy Ha Ha Ha

Reform UK’s self-appointed Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage has at least one principle which he maintains unwaveringly, and that is the concept of strong borders. No-one should complain at nation states deciding for themselves who is let in, and who is not. But now a problem has entered, and it concerns one of his Bestest Pals from the recent past.

During the campaign leading up to the 2016 EU referendum, Nige was backed to the hilt by the self-styled “Bad Boys of Brexit”, those being businessman Arron Banks, and his slippery sidekick Andy Wigmore, the pair giving the appearance of being the very personification of J J Hunsecker and Sidney Falco. Banksy and Wiggy were, also, big Trump backers.

So it was no surprise to see Banksy wanting to celebrate the return of The Donald to the Presidency, at a rooftop venue in Washington, DC. But here, as Caroline Wheeler of the Murdoch Sunday Times has told, a problem entered, as in, Banksy didn’t. Here’s what she had to say about it.

“Arron Banks, the multimillionaire businessman who helped fund the Brexit campaign, is unable to attend his own £150,000 party celebrating Donald Trump’s return to the White House after he was denied entry to the United States … [he] was due to host 300 guests at the lavish ‘Stars and Stripes and Union Jack Party’ on the rooftop of the historic Hay-Adams Hotel in Washington this Friday night”. Except, now, he wasn’t. Do go on.

“Invitees include the president-elect and members of his family, Elon Musk, the US senators Rick Scott and Pete Ricketts, and the former Trump adviser Steve Bannon. The guest of honour is Farage … But Banks set to miss the occasion after his electronic entry permit to the US … was blocked. His business partner, Andy Wigmore has also had his entry to the US denied. The pair claim it is a ‘political decision’ and criticised the Biden administration”.

What was that about sovereign nations controlling their borders? How did Nige and his pals put it … “taking back control”? How will Isabel Oakeshott spin that one? And when will the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his rabble at the Guido Fawkes blog mention it (no word as yet)?

But all is not lost for Banksy. According to the Mirror, “A furious Mr Banks appeared to mockingly declare that he would instead cross the border from Mexico ‘along with the hundreds of thousands of gang members’ to join the party”. Of course he would. I mean, that “Open Tex-Mex border” claim must be true, mustn’t it? Wouldn’t be just a right wing pack of lies, would it?

The Mirror also had more on Banksy’s response. “Mr Banks blasted the decision to deny him US entry, branding it ‘a political decision and revenge for the failed Russia Hoax’. In a long statement, he ranted about President Joe Biden being to blame and hit out at the ‘dying fake media’”. Rather than the more prosaic explanation, which is that he was just refused entry to the USA.

Nige was, of course, all sympathy. “He was also backed by Reform UK leader Mr Farage, who posted online: ‘Arron Banks is a good man and a friend of America. It is astonishing that US Citizenship and Immigration Services have denied him entry for the inauguration.’” And Banksy wasn’t finished.

“I was accused of Russian collusion in the Brexit campaign, investigated and cleared by the National Crime Agency … I would estimate it cost me over £100million in lost business and legal fees. My businesses were de-banked and attacked by vicious opponents during this period. All for supporting Brexit and President Trump”. All of which has stuff all to do with his entry denial.

As a spokesman for the US embassy in the UK put it, “Visa records are confidential under US law, therefore we cannot discuss the details of specific visa cases”. Of course not: they can leave the discussion aspect to Banksy, Wiggy, and Mr Thirsty to pontificate that it’s all so terribly unfair.

While many others look on, try unsuccessfully to suppress the urge to laugh out loud, and conclude “Oh dear, how sad, never mind”.

Monday, 6 January 2025

Elon Musk - A Suitable Case For Treatment

Appallingly entitled and obscenely overmonied migrant Elon Musk is yet another example of what happens when there is no-one present during the time he was supposed to be growing up to say NO. Errol Musk, his father, was maybe too busy getting his own step-daughter pregnant.

Son Elon, who has been rambling and ranting about “Grooming Gangs”, had no problem being seen out and about with Ghislaine Maxwell, pal of the now deceased Jeffrey Epstein. Maybe there was, once again, no-one there who could have told him that this was Not A Good Idea.

Musk Junior’s attacks on the UK Government are yet another example of how this supposed genius trusts far-right disinformation, and what looks like a combination of ego, paranoia and ignorance builds on that misplaced trust to show that The Great Man not only does not know what he’s talking about, but also believes that all those bots and trolls backing him are real people.

So it was that he declared “America should liberate the people of Britain from their tyrannical government”. What’s he proposing? Invasion? Who in the UK voted for him? Whisper it quietly, but the most recent poll asking voters their attitude to Musk brought forth a mostly negative response. Also, he had already showed UK voters what a complete clown he is.

Having previously had Reform UK Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage cosy up to him, suggesting that an unspecified number of Musk millions would be deployed in support of Nige’s limited company, sorry, party, he yesterday about turned and told his adoring followers “The Reform Party needs a new leader. Farage doesn’t have what it takes”. Yeah, right.

Reform UK is a one-man band. And that one man is Farage. None of the other Reform UK MPs would have a snowball in hell’s chance of matching the electoral performance achieved by Mr Thirsty, either as head of UKIP in days past, or the Brexit Party in the last European Parliament elections in which the UK participated, or at the last General Election with Reform UK.

Then, overnight, it got worse. On Reform UK, he more or less endorsed Rupert Lowe: “I have not met Rupert Lowe, but his statements online that I have read so far make a lot of sense”. That’s Reform UK stuffed, then. And yet worse. “Starmer must go. He is national embarrassment” he concluded, as he quoted someone talking well, but lying badly. Then came “Starmer is complicit in the crimes”, followed by the opening of a new front, with “Gordon Brown committed an unforgivable crime against the British people”. WHAT?

Musk quotes Radio Genoa (yes, Radio Genoa) claiming that the Southport attacker was a Muslim (he wasn’t), then sneers “Prison for Starmer”. Could he get more unhinged? Don’t ask: “Am starting to wonder how anyone made it through childhood in Britain without severe trauma”. And so he comes to quoting Visegrád24. Another source of far right disinformation.

He quotes Ian Miles Cheong, who is so close to the action in the UK, as he lives in … Malaysia. And, just to be on the safe side, congenital liar and peddler of far-right disinformation Peter Imanuelsen, who claimed for some time to be in Sweden, and calls himself Peter Sweden, but in fact lives in the Not Really Swedish At All town of Northallerton. In the UK.

And now he’s back to defaming politicians. “Gordon Brown sold those little girls for votes” … “British legal system is not serving its people” [there is no “British legal system”, as Scotland has its own] … “Starmer was deeply complicit in the mass rapes in exchange for votes”. And then came the pièce de résistance, which confirms Musk as totally barking.

Once more quoting Visegrád24 on calls for a new inquiry, he declares “What an insane thing to say! The real reason is that it would show how Starmer repeatedly ignored the pleas of vast numbers of little girls and their parents, in order to secure political support. Starmer is utterly despicable”. But all those bots and trolls back him, so that’s all right then. Except it isn’t.

Elon Musk may be rich. But, sad to say, he can’t recognise reality. End of.

Friday, 3 January 2025

Musk Stupidity Puts Farage On Spot

Among the few discernible principles to which Reform UK’s self-appointed Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage is still prepared to cling is keeping his, and his party’s, distance from Stephen Yaxley Lennon, who styles himself Tommy Robinson. The grim memory of what happened to former UKIP leader Adolf von Batten is still fresh.

Yes, Batten cosying up to the Even Further Right Than Kippers, and the party’s vote imploding as a result, still haunts Mr Thirsty. But now he has a problem with that stance: his bestest new pal Elon Musk, the obscenely overmonied and also self-appointed sidekick of the President-Elect, Combover Crybaby Donald Trump, has become enamoured of Lennon.

And thus the problem: Musk has convinced himself that Lennon’s accusations about the violent assault on a young Syrian refugee at a school in Huddersfield are true, despite Lennon having pleaded guilty in a court of law to spreading, and continuing to spread, false claims about the young refugee, notably in what he grandly called a “documentary”.

As a result of his court appearance and guilty plea, Lennon was sent to prison, where he remains. Cue Muskrat: "Why is Tommy Robinson in a solitary confinement prison for telling the truth? He should be freed and those who covered up this travesty should take his place in that cell”. He didn’t tell the truth, there was no cover-up, full stop, end of story.

Or rather, it will never be the end of the story when so many who unquestioningly follow Lennon, Musk, or both of them, are prepared to believe that Bill Gates, George Soros, the WEF, a sundry convocation of so-called “Globalists”, and no doubt others, somehow control the UK, and perhaps all manner of other countries. And so it begins.

Musk has called Lennon’s defamatory “documentary” “worth watching”, and proclaimed “Free Tommy”, on the back of calling himself “Kekius Maximus” on Twitter, X, or whatever he’s calling it this week. His new profile image is Pepe the Frog, and as the BBC puts it, that’s “a meme that has been used by far-right groups”. At least it wasn’t Naughtius Maximus or Sillius Soddus.

So what is Farage to do? Reform UK has its East Midlands conference in Leicester today, but don’t expect Nige to even mention the issue of his own volition. He wants Musk’s money, but knows that cosying up to Lennon will damage his brand as surely as it did with UKIP. But it is an issue he cannot ignore, because Musk’s ranting has gone on to a new level.

What level would that be? Here’s a sample: “[Keir] Starmer was complicit in the RAPE OF BRITAIN when he was head of [The] Crown Prosecution [Service] for 6 years … Starmer must go and he must face charges for his complicity in the worst mass crime in the history of Britain”. This, it must be stressed, has no evidence to back it up, and is potentially highly defamatory.

And it got worse: as ITV has reported, “On Thursday, Musk … called on the King to dissolve Parliament, sharing a post that asks if King Charles ‘should Dissolve Parliament and order a General Election... for the sake and security of the country?’, with the comment, ‘yes’”. Those who believe the Gates, Soros and WEF paranoia have no problem with Musk sticking his oar in.

For them, this is just another Knight In Shining Armour who, like their hero Farage, is merely “telling it like it is”. The problem for our free and fearless press, as well as the Labour leadership, is that they have all been routinely lying to the voters for years, so are on very shaky ground calling out Musk, Lennon, Farage et al for lying, even though in this case they are right.

Added to that is the continuing attempt by the far-right - which includes Farage and his pals - to demonise Muslims, and brown people en masse, by inference. Mr Thirsty is as guilty as Musk or Lennon on that count. Meanwhile, an increasing number of British citizens live in fear, as the bile is poured out and too few people stand up for the actual rule of law.

Nigel Farage can no longer trim and deflect. He must face reality.

Tuesday, 31 December 2024

Khan K Exposes Press Racism

Whenever there is an accusation of racism levelled at our free and fearless press, they close ranks, issue forthright denials, and of course restate the claim that they wouldn’t dream of such things, they have all cleaned up their acts since Leveson, and generally attempt to get everyone to Look Over There at whatever dead cat they can, in the meantime, dream up.

It was the same when the increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph was called out for anti-Semitism in the wake of its attack on George Soros. It was the same when the Mail, under the less than benevolent control of the legendarily foul mouthed Paul Dacre, launched a viciously anti-Semitic attack on the memory of the late Ralph Miliband. Now it has come round again.

And again, it is the Telegraph and Mail being exposed as racist newspapers, after both of them launched a spiteful and petty assault on London’s Mayor Sadiq Khan, who has been knighted in the New Year’s Honours. Khan has won three terms as elected Mayor. He has helped to reduce the capital’s chronic pollution. His free school meals initiative helps the least well off.

He has also tried his best to keep a lid on public transport costs. His prospectus has won through against a variety of Tory opponents, two of whom, Zac Goldsmith and Shaun Bailey, have since been ennobled. By complete coincidence, you understand, there was no press outcry about rewarding failure by sending Tories who failed to the Lords.

But enough of that: let’s see what the Mail and Tel have ponied up for the delectation of their unfortunate readers. The inmates of the Northcliffe House bunker have howled “PM’S ‘REWARD FOR FAILURE’ AS SADIQ KHAN IS KNIGHTED … London Mayor row risks overshadowing New Year Honours”. A row which the Mail and Telegraph have concocted. So it’s their fault.

Not that they will admit that. But do go on. “SADIQ Khan has been handed a knighthood in the New Year Honours - prompting furious claims of a ‘reward for failure’ [you said that already] … Leading Tories pointed to his ‘track record of failure’ in the capital, including over tackling knife crime and dramatic hikes in council tax, congestion charges and emissions levels”.

Emissions have not seen a dramatic hike, but hey ho. They probably mean the ULEZ, which failed to get Khan defeated last time round, much to the annoyance of the same right-wing papers that are now pouring out spite. The Telegraph offers “PM knights Khan in ‘reward for failure’ … Starmer accused of putting party before country as he hands honours to ‘cronies’”.

Those quote marks are doing seriously heavy lifting. So what else is testing the Tel? He allegedly “waged war on London’s drivers with the Ultra-Low Emission Zone and capitulated to unions over Tube strikes”. He did? “He … handed Tube drivers a 5 per cent pay increase”. And ended a disruptive series of strikes, which don’t affect the Tel’s rich bosses, so they don’t care.

There is more of this tedious drivel. But one person escapes any criticism, and to no surprise, that person is the disgraced former Prime Minister and occasional former Mayor of London Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, who bequeathed a mess to Sadiq Khan which he has had to sort out. And it was Bozo, let us not forget, who brought the ULEZ to London in the first place.

It was Bozo who foisted a thousand vanity buses onto TfL, for which a premium over conventional buses had to be paid. It was Bozo who shelled out tens of millions on the Garden Bridge fiasco. It was Bozo who spaffed millions up the wall (his own happy phrase) on the impractical Thames Estuary Airport study. It was Bozo who caved in to George Osborne and relinquished TfL’s subsidy from central Government. And so on.

But Bozo escapes the ritual and spiteful slagging off because he’s a Tory, he’s one of their own, and he’s white. Sadiq Khan, for all his efforts to make life better for all Londoners, will get no more than abuse, because he’s a Rotten Lefty™, he’s brown, and he’s a Muslim. The attacks are straight-up racism.

The racist and hopelessly out of touch right-wing press don’t care about ordinary Londoners. Sadiq Khan does. But you knew that already.

Monday, 23 December 2024

Labour - A Study In Cowardice

Once more we are informed that Rachel Reeves is asking spending departments of Government for cuts. There have been tax rises, but little investment. Pensioners, the disabled, those on or below the poverty line, and most recently WASPI women, all have been turned away. They will have to make do with less. It does not have to be this way, and well she knows it.

Someone bereft of ideas, versus ...

The Starmer Government has itself stuck in what Simon Fletcher called a “Right wing doom loop” in a recent Byline Times article (read it HERE). Ms Reeves has pinned her hopes on growth, but growth is not forecast to occur any time soon. Her embrace of economic orthodoxy means more needless austerity, more wasted years of poor economic performance.

That it does not need to be this way has been known for more than 85 years, since the first publication of The General Theory Of Employment Interest And Money. John Maynard Keynes’ ideas, and, indeed, his prediction of where over-reliance on economic orthodoxy would lead, were not lost on a new generation of economists, as J K Galbraith later observed.

He later put this directly in The Age Of Uncertainty: “In 1937, recovery from the Great Depression was slowly under way; production and prices were rising, although unemployment was still appalling. The men of sound judgment now asserted themselves. They moved to cut spending, raise taxes and bring the federal budget into balance”. There was more.

“The few Keynesians protested; our voices were drowned out in the roar of orthodox applause. As the budget moved towards balance, the recovery came to a halt. Presently there was a new and ghastly slump, a recession within the Depression. It was entirely as Keynes had predicted. The men of sound judgment had made our case”. Pages 219 and 220 in my edition.

What is Ms Reeves doing? It looks very much like “cut spending, raise taxes and bring the … budget into balance”. And the forecast result, no growth in the foreseeable future, or even a recession, is, once again, exactly as Keynes would have predicted. The mistakes made in the USA in the late 30s were only countered by increased spending, this time on war.

... someone who was never thus constrained

The Keynesian remedy - running a deficit when the economy needs supporting - is known to any economist, or economic thinker, in the UK, Europe and elsewhere. It is available to any economy with control of its own currency - like the UK. For a country whose infrastructure is in such a run down state after fourteen years of Tory neglect, it seems a no-brainer.

Yet Starmer and Ms Reeves appear unable, or unwilling, to embrace the approach that served the Labour Government of the immediate post-war years so well. Britain was virtually bankrupt by 1945, yet Attlee and his team brought the Welfare State into being, along with a series of nationalisations, and of course the NHS. Plus, yes, more or less full employment.

Instead of actually taking action, though, we are assailed by a deluge of press releases masquerading as policy. One day it is the deeply dislikable Wes Streeting telling how he is transforming the NHS; today has brought Lucy Powell claiming, and as Treeza might have said, I am not making this up, “We're turning the tables to put ordinary people at the front of the queue”.

One slice of meaningless drivel after another. What does Powell’s assertion even mean? And all the while, there is a daily slew of bad faith knocking copy emanating from our free and fearless press. In a routine show of hypocrisy, they slate anyone they deem to be “talking the country down”, while they constantly talk the country down. But only when Labour are in charge.

As Simon Fletcher has observed, Labour is “relying on an argument that growth in the future will deliver a resolution to the country’s problems”. But what they are doing is not bringing growth, and in the timescale required, is most unlikely to bring growth. Thus they are talking themselves towards defeat, and worse, enabling the far right con men of Reform UK.

Keynes had the answers. His legacy still has them. Hello Rachel Reeves.

Sunday, 22 December 2024

Behold Lord Tobes Of Bellend

And so it came to pass that the time of year meant party leaders nominating a variety of the undeserving and otherwise underemployed as new members of the House of Lords, the Other Place that the current Government was so keen to abolish, but now, seemingly, isn’t. Labour has put forward thirty names, but most of them will escape scrutiny, thanks to Kemi Badenoch.

As ever, at times like this, the opposition rides to your rescue: Ms Badenoch, not content with making herself and her party look less credible with every week’s PMQs, has put forward one name guaranteed to put those of Charlotte Owen and Ross Kempsell, ennobled at the behest of disgraced former occasional PM Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, in the shade.

Because the latest name in the Tory prospective peerage frame is none other than the loathsome Toby Young, who has for many years been full value for his nickname of Captain Bellend. I first observed the deep and sincere affection his peers in the media held for Tobes some years ago.

At the launch event for the HuffPost UK, Zelo Street was there in the auditorium, sitting in the back row as the launch presentation and debate began. Some 20 minutes later, the entrance door to my left opened, someone walked through it, and a chorus of booing ensued. What, I asked the bloke to my left, was all that about? “It’s OK, it’s only Toby Young” came the reply.

It got worse: Tobes was apparently having difficulty finding a seat. The disruption was brought to a swift end when Arianna Huffington recognised The Great Man, and no doubt also knew about all the snarky abuse that he had dispensed in her general direction. “Would you like to join us?” she asked, at which point Tobes thought better of making an even bigger arsehole of himself, and found himself a seat with remarkable swiftness.

That is the memory coming to the fore every time our free and fearless press attempts to polish the turd that is Captain Bellend: the foot-soldiers of this industry have a rather lower opinion of his munificence than their bosses. So most of the crap being spoken about him in reaction to the peerage nomination can be taken with one gigantic piece of salt.

Pride of place in that department goes to the increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph proclaiming “Free speech champion Toby Young awarded peerage”. As Billy Connolly once said, there’s going to be some swearing … FUCK OFF. Anyone and everyone has the right of free speech. But all too many on the right don’t like actions having consequences.

It gets worse, as a perusal of Tobes’ Wikipedia entry demonstrates: “Young has admitted using cocaine at the Groucho Club in central London, and also supplying drugs to others. He was subsequently expelled from membership of the club in late 2001 for writing about the cocaine use of friends he had supplied with the drug during a 1997 photo shoot for Vanity Fair”.

Any more minus points? “Young has come under criticism for comments he made on Twitter … These included what an Evening Standard editorial called ‘an obsession with commenting on the anatomy of women in the public eye’”. And how’s this for vanity? “Young is reported to have edited his own Wikipedia page 282 times over the course of six years”. Modest with it, eh?

Maybe this comment from Dawn Foster sums up Tobes’ true place in the establishment pantheon: “Young seems to think he is held in high regard by free school advocates. When I mentioned his name in the course of interviewing a former Department for Education employee for the piece, my interviewee headbutted the restaurant table in exasperation. I have found the sentiment, if not the gesture, to be common among his ideological comrades”.

That is merely reinforced by the knowledge that he was taken on, and then sacked, by the Times, under the editorship of Charles Wilson. This part of his career trajectory he shares with Bozo The Clown, someone else who is full of crap and gobby with it. He’s called Captain Bellend. Because he’s a bellend.

Lord Tobes of Bellend, of the borough of Leering in the county of Misogyny. Because they couldn’t find a horse called Incitatus.

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