Nadine Dorries - The Brexit Of Stupid

After yesterday’s faux outrage from the Tories, getting themselves all in a tizzy after finding those dastardly foreigners in Brussels had bothered to do their homework on the Irish border question, when our useless Government hadn’t, some might have thought that there might be less Brexit idiocy on display while a moment of reflection was ordered. But that thought would have been misplaced, as there is always Tory Brexit idiocy on display.

And always up for a little Tory Brexit idiocy - although probably inadvertently, in her case - is (yes, it’s her again) Nadine Dorries, still imposed on the unfortunate electorate of Mid Bedfordshire, who has been showing the world just how knowledgeable the average Tory back bencher is when it comes to matters European.

Only a fortnight ago, the fragrant Nadine told “I’m giving up Twitter for Lent. My parl staff or publisher may RT or post the odd PR thing but, I won’t be looking and I’m even deleting the app”. But she spoke with forked tongue, and was back this week. “Twitter chatter of a General Election is febrile bonkers. It really isn’t going to happen for another 4 1/2 years”. You read it there first. That may be worth preserving.

Then it was on to saying very silly things about the EU. “EU growth is shrinking. Global markets growing. For Britain to grow, we need to be free to trade with the rest of the world. We can’t do that if we are in The Customs Union”. The rest of the EU is now growing faster than the UK. And Germany manages to trade with the rest of the world, doing more trade than we do with both China and India. But facts, eh? Do go on.

“The MPs in my own party and Labour spouting untrue rubbish that we already can free trade globally are desperate. We cannot ‘free’ trade - the EU forces us to impose heavy tariffs pushing up the price of goods. They really believe that the public are very gullible and or/ stupid”. No it doesn’t, as the Murdoch Sun found out yesterday.

“They also say very stupid things, such as, ‘we must put the country 1st.’ How about putting the poor 1st, who pay through the nose for food, shoes and clothes at prices fixed by the unelected protectionist racket that is the CU?” Two things here. One, if she gave a flying foxtrot about the poor, what’s she doing in the Tory Party and backing Brexit? And two, how do you elect a Customs Union? Oh, and a CU is not “protectionist”.

Then comes her endorsement of the Sun’s pack of lies on tariffs: “For those who favour a CU take a look at a breakdown from the @TheSun and see how much we pay in tariffs. The CU is a corrupt and rigged by Eurocrats and in no way benefits British people - we are being ripped off!” No we aren’t - the Sun’s claims were so wrong, the article was pulled. There is no rigging, and if there is corruption, she’s not revealing any.

And the Brexit of idiocy is never complete without reference to Mrs T., who was one of the prime movers behind the Single Market, although that detail never gets admitted by her admirers. Instead, Ms Dorries used an old Thatcher reference to kick John Major: “Body language of traitor Major sat next to her is revealing”. Traitor! Off with his head!

She then “wholeheartedly agreed” with someone who slagged off Major over the Maastricht Treaty and then claimed he had tried to take the UK into the Euro. The same John Major who negotiated a Maastricht Treaty opt-out for the UK on, er, the Euro.

Still, more of those pesky details, eh? Back to slagging off Major. “John Major who allowed no free vote in Parliament on Mastricht treaty? Who aggressively whipped through with the dark arts of the whips office in full force, called his Eurosceptic colleagues bastards and is now asking for TM to allow a free vote - something he refused?” The “aggressively whipped through with the dark arts of the whips office” is interesting, if moderately silly.

It only remained, after doling out all that intemperate abuse, to shout “look over there”. And so she did just that: “The twitter trolling and abuse many are receiving from those with the #FBPE is just plain tedious, mostly offensive and foul mouthed. I’m switching off notifications so will no longer see, or be able to reply to anyone - sorry”. Bit like she was giving up Twitter for Lent, then.

Nadine Dorries clearly knows so little about the EU and its constructs, and is so committed to being against anything and everything about it, that she is prepared to believe any old pack of lies the press serves up on the subject. Yet there she is, still drawing an MP’s salary and playing the victim. While aggressively attacking those she dislikes.

Behold the Brexit of stupid. That’s who’s in charge right now. Be afraid. Be very afraid.