So the carefully choreographed latest series of Britain’s Got Talent, another part of
the empire of Simon Cowell (aka The Black Helmet), came to its close yesterday
evening. But the publicity had not been uniformly favourable: for starters, the
show had attracted some stick for the inconvenient discovery that some of the
acts – like the one that won – were not British.
Hedge trimmer duly deployed
This could reflect badly on the Black Helmet. But, not to
worry, by the most fortunate of coincidences, a viola player who had been
tucked away among the backing musicians just happened
to sneak half a dozen eggs through security and interrupted proceedings to pelt
Cowell with them. Boom! The big bad boss man gets some sympathy and those
press knees obediently jerk into line.
Even better, the hacks can lay their hands on lots of photos
of Natalie Holt, including one in a bikini (yes, the Sun called her a “bikini babe”).
She just happens to be suitably photogenic. And the Black Helmet’s hair was not
even slightly disturbed, despite a direct hit from one of the eggs. On top of
that, Ms Holt then apologised and said how silly she had been (with the show’s
approval, please note).
So why am I not convinced of the spontaneity of this stunt?
Well, the duo who were supposedly interrupted mid-song didn’t seem unduly
shocked, and nor did Cowell. And, although she was taken away by the suddenly
alert security detail, Ms Holt has received the kind of publicity she could
previously only have dreamed of. Plus the Black Helmet was made to look almost
human.
The approved BGT
statements following the stunt gloss over the possibility that there may have
been a motive for the egging which had to do with the exploitative nature of
these shows, which have moved on a little since Hughie Green hosted Opportunity Knocks (note that Cowell
claims to have “created” BGT – like heck).
Any criticism of the Black Helmet has, for public consumption, been erased.
And for the press, this is an easy one: they trawl social
media sites for photos of Ms Holt (Mail
Online has been especially indulgent)
and Twitter for comments (stripping out anything that does not fit the Cowell
friendly line), and there’s their story. It cuts out the need for proper
journalism, generates plenty of hit bait, and thus the whole charade rolls on
to the next series.
Anyone think the use of the word “charade” is a trifle severe? Well, think of what happened to Ms
Holt and her group (Raven had previously appeared on BGT): a group of trained musicians get nowhere and end up feeling
used, while a dance troupe who can do silhouettes that look like the Queen and
Winshton carry off the prize. And the Black Helmet makes lots of dosh out of
the whole thing.
At least it wasn’t a
performing dog this time.
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